My apologies for being absent the last two weeks when the 1200th post was due to come on. Blogger robots incorrectly identified this Journal as a spam blog and deactivated it. I had to appeal to have it properly checked, and was only reinstated today. Without further ado...
Yes, after a huge amount of problems with alien invasions, but mainly witrh awkward people, this Journal has made it to it's 1200th post.
Don't ask me how it's made it. I would have thougfht it would fall over as soon as it started walking! (ho ho!)
Sorry about the humour, friends, but I had to have a little smile there.
"It wasn't exactly funny, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me, who is sitting next to me as I record this.
"Well, I don't know about that." I reply in defence.
"Don't be ridiculous," she laughs, "I've always been sharper and the one who has kept this Journal going. After all, who would want to listen to you if there wasn't a good-looking woman involved with the main character.?"
"I dispute that." I answer, "This is a record of my tenure as Captain of the Enterprise. The others are supporting players who...."
"That is negative." answer a soft female voice from the door. The Borg Queen, who was visiting, walks up to me.
"I agree with Beverly." Queenie comments, your Journal records require that you have a full-bloodied woman by your side. The only discepancy is that it should be me and not a redhead."
"Queenie!" snaps an indignant Bev, "Don't you have a Cube to catch?"
"In a few moments, my dear." she answers, "Clean out a few bedpans while I chat privately to Jean-Luc, here."
"Jean-Luc!" says another female voice from the door, "Are these two women leaving the room? I need to discuss when we can meet in a discreet place."
Natalia, the Deltan Ambassador, who is bald and has endless legs steps into view.
"The ship is just ferrying me to the next planet." she tells me, so I thought I would just have time to..."
"Who are you?" Queenie asks.
"I am Natalia, Captain Picard's Woman." she answers plainly.
"Well THAT is who I am!" the Borg Queen replies.
"You two can get to the back of the queue." Bev reminds them, "Jean-Luc will tell you that I am his Woman and always will be!"
The Video Screen comes on.
"Hiya Johnny!" Toots yells out, "I bribed a guard...don't ask how..to give me some videotime so I can wish you a happy 1200th post. When you're ready to bust me out of the pen, send me a message in a cake, and we can go on the lam together."
I cringe and take a stress pill.
"Hey Johnny." Toots continues, "Who are the floozies with you? I recognise the redhead, but that metallic one ain't gonna win many guys, and the bald dame looks like she was on a Vegas street somewhere."
At this, a furious row row ensues between the four of them. I decide the best course of action is a tactical withdrawal to let them fight it out.
I quietly exit from the room, hearing high-pitched screaming behind me.
What happened to my intentions of putting together a milestone 1200th post?
Ah, well, better luck another time.
This marks the 1200th Post of Captain Picard's Journal. Many thanks to all those who have read over the years, and I have picked up along the way!