Bev and I are sitting in the front row in the holodeck, where the Klingon wedding ceremonial building has been programmed.
Worf and Jadzia Dax is standing by the altar, about to be married. The ceremony is being conducted by Deanna Troi, who has that role as she was Worf's former lover.
I hand Bev another tissue. She tells me she always cries at weddings. Fortunately, I've got a whole stock stuffed in my pockets.
As Worf have just completed their bat'leth fight, which all have to go through at a Klingon wedding ceremony, we are now ready to get through to the 'main event of the evening', as Riker whispers to me.
"Let's hope Deanna's remembered her Klingon words for the ceremony." Riker whispers, ""She was up all last nght memorising it. I had to give her three chocolate sundaes to help her stay awake."
I turn round, and Deanna is poised, ready to start. I've added the translation fir the benefit of all readers who haven't been to a Klingon wedding before.
"Hovmey So'Ha' bIngDaq Qam SuvwI',
The warrior stands beneath the naked stars
Enemies to the left, enemies to the right
|Dat chaHtaH they are everywhere.|
SuvtaH SuvwI The warrior fights continuously.
|batlh Suv nIteb Suv He fights with honor. He fights alone.|
SuvlaHchu' 'ach Heghbej He can fight perfectly but he will certainly die
vaj mamuvchuq thus, we join one another
|cha' moj wa' one becomes two|
tuq moj cha' two becomes a household
mangghom moj tuqmey houses become armieswo' chen mangghommey
|armies build the empire|
Deanna looks relieved after that marathon spell. She turns to Worf.
"Worf....bISawrup'a'?"......"Worf, do you marry her?"
Worf replies "Hija." "Yes" (did you really need a translation there?")
Deanna then look at Jadzia.
"Jadzia..bInayrup'a'?...."Jadzia, do you marry him?"
Jadzia replies with a "Hija." as well.
Deanna then finds a dagger that she has hidden in some part of that skimpy dress, though I don't see where it was, and continues. Jadzia and Worf stand back as Deanna holds the dagger up high; they both attempt to reach the dagger. As they hold on to it, the dagger comes to waist level.
"bInayrup'a'? Today, you are un-alone.
|DaHjaj tagh wo' Today the Empire begins."|
The blade is withdrawn, leaving Jadzia and Worf holding hands.
We all standup and shout "QAPLA!", which means 'success'.
The couple pose for the wedding photographs, which will appear in The Galactic Gazette this week.
The wedding is over. We toast the couple by saying the traditional message "May you find a blood worm in your glass.". Personally, I think 'Congratulations." would have been more in order!