"We're going to have to go to Wondawowman to make sure that everything is laid out properly for the Christmas Party next week." I tell Bev.
"I'm not too sure if that's a good idea, Jean-Luc." she replies, "Queen Diana isn't going to take kindly to any overseeing by a man. Remember, it's a planet of amazons, where my daughter-in-law Karena comes from. Best to take a step back from the planning and let them handle it."
"I know what you mean, Bev." I continue, "But if they haven't got enough vol-au-vents or other party food, then they are not going to be able to find any at short notice. They refuse to use replicators. there isn't a branch of Walmart Galaxy on their planet either."
"Well maybe I can just call the Queen on the video and ask?"
"Jean-Luc." Bev says, rolling her eyes, "It won't work."
"Don't worry." I say, "I'll just use the old Picard smile."
I get on the viewer and the Queen's image flashes on. She looks disappointed.
"Oh, it's you." she says, as if she's seen a the blind date she is going on and wants to get away quickly, "What do you want?"
"Greetings, your majesty." I say, using all my artificial pleasantries, "I must say, we are looking forward to visiting your planet next week for the Christmas party. How are errr... the preparations going?"
Diana looks offended.
"You are a man and you ask me how prepartions are going?" she snorts, "We are women, the supreme example of our sex. Naturally everything is way ahead of time. You have some nerve to.."
Bev hurriedly pushes me out of the way and talks to Diana herself.
"This is Beverly." she quickly says, "Hello Diana. Sorry that the Captain asked such a ridiculous question. Naturally I advised him not to, but he never listens."
"Hello Beverly." the Queen beams with a smile, "I'm so looking forward to seeing you next week. Maybe we can both start Karena & Wes to try for a daughter?"
"Maybe we can." Bev laughs in reply. She manages to keep me out of the way. Bev continues.
"Things seem to be going well, Diana" Beverly tells the Queen, "With amazons it doesn't surprise me. They are such great organisers."
"Thank you, Beverly." the amazon leader tells her, "It's always a pleasure to be complimented by an outsider."
"That's no problem. The Enterprise and the Rhode Island look forward to seeing you all next week." Bev concludes, "Goodbye for now."
Diana signs off and the videoscreen goes blank.
"Diplomacy is very different between races, Jean-Luc." Bev says with a laugh, "You'd be best to stay in the background. If you ask Diana for a dance, she'll probably withdraw from the Federation!"
Why is it I feel like I'll have to sit still and behave myself next week?