Thursday, May 01, 2008

Visiting Time In The Brig


Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

I'm sitting in the brig, which I'm getting to know quite well. I've had it decorated, and it looks quite stylish. A home away from home, one could say.

"Visitor!" barks out the guard, who enters the room.

T'Pol walks in. Always a pleasure to see my very best friend.

The guard lets the forcefield down, so we hug and exchange greetings.

"Great to see you, soulsista!" I say.

T'Pol reciprocates, and I ask how things are getting on.

"Things are a little dull without you, Britney." she answers, "It's always livelier when you are around."

"It might account as to why I'm here now." I reply.

"Just what DID you do?" she asks.

"They're so particular." I complain, "Just because I hit someone for saying I shouldn't chew gum. Rules and regulations are quoted to me and I get thrown in here again."

"That reminds me." T'Pol comments, "I've got this new style chewing gum with me. I found it in a shop in Tarius VI. It's supposed to be a whole new flavour."

"You're a fab friend!" I exclaim, and put the supply in the secret compartment of my Dr Martens boots.

"I do have a problem." T'Pol muses, "Where are we going to go on vacation this year?"

"What's the prob, sistah?" I reply.

"No one will have us, Brit!" she exclaims, "We are so rowdy, we have been banned from all the clubs and holiday complexes. Word of our behaviour has spread to all the planets. Whenever they hear the names T'Pol or Britney, they all groan and stop us."

"There must be someone who will have us." I say in desperation.

"As a last option" T'Pol tells me, "I called the Anything Goes Resort Planet, where there are no rules and people can do what they like all day long."

"What did they say?"

"They told me that they don't want our sort there, as we would cheapen them. The manager said that although there are no rules, they DO have standards."

"Charming!" I say, "Don't worry, sistah, there must be SOMEWHERE in the galaxy that has not heard of T'Pol and Britney."

"We'll find it, Brit." T'Pol replies.

The guard comes in to tell us that Visiting Hours are over. T'Pol leaves, and the force field is restored.

"Keep looking, sistah." I call out, as she leaves, "Some place will get a surprise this summer!"


Gordon said...

Wow no-one will have them are they surprised maybe they need to let their hair down in a different way. Mind you that would be a whole new ball game for those two and I don't think they could "chill"..

Ellee Seymour said...

Thanks for the drink captain, much appreciated.

Jana said...

That's pretty bad. Have they checked with the Klingons? I bet they would take them. Of course, maybe not in a way they want to be taken...

Nepharia said...

You should go back in time and visit me on the Smuggler's Moon -- anything goes and they have no standards whatsoever.

Gyrobo said...

You could go into the holodeck, and run a simulation of a holodeck!

The twist comes later, when it turns out that what you thought was the "real world" was actually a third holodeck!

Titania Starlight said...

Hello Jean-Luc,
I wanted to stop by to wish you a belated Third Blogaversary. A job well done. This blog as truly evolved. My hat goes off to you for all your hard work. :o)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Poor Brit & T'pol! I hope they find a place to vacation. Maybe they can take me too!

Lahdeedah said...

Isn't there a New Amsterdam somewhere?

I noticed Starfleet officers get a lot of vacation time.

What's up with that?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Gordon, it might be tough for Ensign Britney to let her hair down, as she doesn't have any.

Gyrobo, now that is complicated!

Titania, thanks for the compliment.

MOTD, are you sure you'd want to go with that raucious pair?

Lahdeedah, we need a lot of vacation time as we save the universe so often.

Sara said...

Hello, Michele sent me to say anywhere but whereever I am would be nice for those two to vacation - maybe some place that had no newspapers, paparazzi, or even humans.

BTW, congrats on 3 years! Your hard work shows on this blog!!!

Vegeta said...

hm, I gfeel rather sorry for whatever place gets them, and i'm destruction incatrnate.

Carmi said...

I think there may be openings on Skankworld, or its neighboring planet, Celebutante 4. I do hope they find their happy place, as everyone deserves some comfy time off.

I'm sorry I missed your blogaversary - it's been a crazy week of work. I'm so glad our blog (and Facebook!) paths have crossed, and I look forward to seeing where you take this most unique blog in the years to come. It's so cool that we get to go on this journey with you.

Michele sent me to thank you for all you do.

eastcoastlife said...

Nice boots! I want one pair of that!

Chewing gum is banned in Singapore. :) So I guess they are not heading this way. Phew!

The Curmudgeon said...

"Some place will get a surprise this summer."

And yet another place will ban T'Pol and Britney thereafter.

Why don't they just take their leave in the brig and save everyone the trouble?

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