A Small Plumbing Problem

Lieutenant Geordi LaForge looks particularly panic stricken; with him is Commander Riker.

"We've got a small problem." They both seem to say at once.

"Well see Doctor Crusher about it." I answer, "Or failing that, see Counselor Troi."



"No, Captain." Geordi tries to say, "It's a plumbing problem."

"Oh, I see." I tell him, "Then you DEFINATELY need to see Doctor Crusher."

Both of them seem to be frustrated, as if I'm not understanding what they are saying.

"The problem is this." Riker says slowly, "The errr...lavatories in the Enterprise washrooms are ceasing to function. As they are all linked, none of them are working."

"And we've got over a thousand people on board..." I say in realisation.

"That's right, sir." Riker answers, "And with the Bolian digestive system, it could be a major difficulty."

"It was their system that probably caused the washrooms to fail. " I tell them, "Get the emergency repairers out here."

"It's under way, sir."

"Tell everybody to errr...hold tight." I say, in a somewhat poor choice of words.

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A few hours later, the repairer is beamed aboard. Everybody on the ship is looking a little restless, as if they want to use the facilities desperately. The Bolians have been given a sleeping drug just to make sure everything is all right.



The repairer is covered in a protective suit with an air cannister on the back.

"Hello mate." says the soundspeaker on his suit.

I groan.

"Hello Sid." I reply.

Sid is the Starfleet repairer who uses tools and technology from the 20th Century to repair problems. His mind and manner is fixed in that era as well.

"What's the suit for, Sid." Riker asks him.

"Are you kidding, mate?" he answers, "When I have to do a lavatorial plumbing repair job on a starship inhabited by all sorts of race...Bolians incuded....I'm keeping this suit well and truly on!"

Sid makes his way to the main washroom where the trouble originated. We notice that some crew have passed out from walking near the doorway.

Riker, LaForge and I are starting to feel a little groggy, so we walk back quickly. I turn to see Sid go in holding a spanner and carrying a bag of tools.

We section the area off from other crew, as it is too dangerous to go near.

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A while later, we are all waiting for news from Sid.

"It's been half an hour. Do you think he has air for that long, Jean-Luc." asks a worried Bev, "If he fails to fix the problem, we could all be done for."

"He's still going, Bev." I reply, "The sound from the room can tell that his hammer and spanner are banging away at the pipes."

Suddenly there is silence. We all look at each other worriedly.

After a couple of minutes, the monitor shows the figure of Sid walk out of the washroom with his hood off.

"It's all fixed, mate!"

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We escort Sid to the Transporter Room and ask him how we can prevent anything like this happening again.

"That's easy, mate." he replies, "Never serve a Bolian lasagna after he has had Klingon Bloodwine. It's a potent combination."