Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Small Plumbing Problem

Lieutenant Geordi LaForge looks particularly panic stricken; with him is Commander Riker.

"We've got a small problem." They both seem to say at once.

"Well see Doctor Crusher about it." I answer, "Or failing that, see Counselor Troi."

"No, Captain." Geordi tries to say, "It's a plumbing problem."

"Oh, I see." I tell him, "Then you DEFINATELY need to see Doctor Crusher."

Both of them seem to be frustrated, as if I'm not understanding what they are saying.

"The problem is this." Riker says slowly, "The errr...lavatories in the Enterprise washrooms are ceasing to function. As they are all linked, none of them are working."

"And we've got over a thousand people on board..." I say in realisation.

"That's right, sir." Riker answers, "And with the Bolian digestive system, it could be a major difficulty."

"It was their system that probably caused the washrooms to fail. " I tell them, "Get the emergency repairers out here."

"It's under way, sir."

"Tell everybody to errr...hold tight." I say, in a somewhat poor choice of words.


A few hours later, the repairer is beamed aboard. Everybody on the ship is looking a little restless, as if they want to use the facilities desperately. The Bolians have been given a sleeping drug just to make sure everything is all right.

The repairer is covered in a protective suit with an air cannister on the back.

"Hello mate." says the soundspeaker on his suit.

I groan.

"Hello Sid." I reply.

Sid is the Starfleet repairer who uses tools and technology from the 20th Century to repair problems. His mind and manner is fixed in that era as well.

"What's the suit for, Sid." Riker asks him.

"Are you kidding, mate?" he answers, "When I have to do a lavatorial plumbing repair job on a starship inhabited by all sorts of race...Bolians incuded....I'm keeping this suit well and truly on!"

Sid makes his way to the main washroom where the trouble originated. We notice that some crew have passed out from walking near the doorway.

Riker, LaForge and I are starting to feel a little groggy, so we walk back quickly. I turn to see Sid go in holding a spanner and carrying a bag of tools.

We section the area off from other crew, as it is too dangerous to go near.


A while later, we are all waiting for news from Sid.

"It's been half an hour. Do you think he has air for that long, Jean-Luc." asks a worried Bev, "If he fails to fix the problem, we could all be done for."

"He's still going, Bev." I reply, "The sound from the room can tell that his hammer and spanner are banging away at the pipes."

Suddenly there is silence. We all look at each other worriedly.

After a couple of minutes, the monitor shows the figure of Sid walk out of the washroom with his hood off.

"It's all fixed, mate!"


We escort Sid to the Transporter Room and ask him how we can prevent anything like this happening again.

"That's easy, mate." he replies, "Never serve a Bolian lasagna after he has had Klingon Bloodwine. It's a potent combination."


The Curmudgeon said...

Sid seems to have done well for a change. Bravo, Sid.

Anonymous said...

what you need is Pak'ma'ras on board

Jaime said...

Nice timing, Captain! The plumbing here at the house is stopped up. Can you send Sid over?

Mykol said...

That's something I never really thought about.

Anonymous said...

Well done sid!

Linda said...

Sounds like those Bolians have all sorts of problems when it comes to bodily functions! Glad that Sid came to the rescue once again!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

LOL is all I can say :)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

WHat would you guys do without Sid?

Michael Manning said...

Maybe my Kooky sense of humor enjoyed that line "He's still going, Bev"! :D

-TNChick- said...

passed out while walking by the door... man that's some major stuff! ewww!


hope you're doin' well, btw.

Wolverine said...

tha Avengers need Sid.

Nepharia said...

Well, hell. I remember that last time I had Bolian lasagna served with Klingon Bloodwine. I woke up the next day in bed with Q with no memory of what had happened. You guys are lucky you're alive.

Batman said...

So that's what that that food combination was that made me black out after the Chistmas party I'm lucky though i woke up next to Dina, but Bat-Mite had a camera i'll get that Imp yet.

Amanda said...

I never thought about that sort of problem on a ship like the Enterprise.

Funny post!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A warning to you all about digestion!

rashbre said...

I shall have to remember that lasagne tip. Always good to make lots of tapping sounds when repairing pipework.

My plumbing advice served today via Michele, who asked me to say "Tap Tap!"


mrsmogul said...

Just thinking about the waste floating into space!

eastcoastlife said...

oh no! Too gross to even imagine.

Vegeta said...

let's just say there are ceartain sespace sectors you don't ewwant to go to and leave it at that.