Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Paradise Planet (Part Two)

At the moment, there is great difficulty abroad the Enterprise.

I am the only one still on board.

The rest of the crew, including Captain Picard, have beamed down to the planet Paradisio where four other starships also have their people. Supposedly, they are living a life of endless pleasure.

I get a hail from the surface. It is Captain Picard and Doctor Crusher. They are wearing simple jungle outfits and are looking very contented.

"Hey Data!" says the Captain, "Why don't you come and join Bev and the rest of us. We're all having a great time!"

"Starfleet Regulations do not..." I start to say...

"Oh, phooey, Data!" says the Doctor.

Jennifer Baxter's picture comes on; she is my girlfriend. She is wearing an enticing bikini.

"Data, honey" she purrs with a seductive voice, "Come down here, you know we'll have a lot of fun."

"I did come down earlier." I tell her, "But I observed something was wrong so I have returned to find out what it is."

"Oh, you're such a square, Data!" she informs me.

Things must be strange down there; even Spot wants to stay on Paradisio.

Looking at the five starships, it seems that the number of personel is a lot less on the planet. I wonder where some of them have gone?

When I call Captain Fraser of the starship Velcro, I get the customary "Who cares?" answer. The laissez-faire attitude of everybody is most noticeable.

I suddenly notice that five more people have vanished in a certain part of the planet. When I investigate the screen replay, I notice that sinister creatures are snatching them for themselves.

The Enterprise long-range camera gets a close up of them; Commander Riker would have called them 'creepier than a Cardassian in a horror movie.'

The cliff area where they are being taken appears to be spewing a strange gas into the air. It is this that has caused the attitude in everybody. The aliens want people to stay there so that they can keep them to...my programming is not fixed for those gory thoughts.

I get the Enterprise to send high power phaser bolts to destroy the cliff area. No more gas is being emitted.

I expect a response from Captain Picard in the near future.

Nearly an hour later, a hail comes from below.

The Captain's image comes on the videoscreen. His chin is unshaven, and has his uniform on badly. Doctor Crusher is with him, her hair a mess.

"Ah, Data, old friend" he tells me, "Good to see you. I don't know what happened. We seem to have err.. overrated this planet a little. We'd like to err...beam back if that's ok?"

"Yes, sir" I reply.

Jennifer Baxter comes on the screen.

"Oh, Data my dearest" she says to me, "You know I couldn't live without you. I'll be coming up; Spot has been missing you so much, and Sustenance number 23."


Later, Captain Picard invites me into his Ready Room for 'a little chat', as he calls it.

"Data, my friend" he starts, "The Captains of the other ship have agreed that this is something we'd like to err... forget about."

"What do you mean, sir." I say in my best android voice.

"What I mean, Data, is let's just say some aliens abducted us"

"If you say so, sir" I say.

"That's good, Data!" he tells me.

"I'll just type the story for record purposes." I tell him.

In the distance, I hear Captain Picard coughing away.


M. C. Pearson said...

Heh heh heh...I was right about asking for Data! But I think I'd like to read a more detailed report of the incident. How did they get away?

M. C. Pearson said...

Okay I just reread the report...Data destroyed the gass...but did the aliens fight for their prize?

Vampirella said...

yeah and I want to know more of what went on down on th planet

Ciera said...

nice save, Data!

craziequeen said...

WOO HOO!! Score one for Data!!


[sigh] my hero.....


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I can't believe that the Captain was all hepped up on goofballs, then he tries to cover up the incident. What will the admiral in charge of Captain's Logs say?

Professor Xavier said...

An alternate title for that episode could be "Data solves the Captain's gas problem".

DagniroVanaliel said...

X- lol

Go Data! But I feel bad for the Captain... he must feel like quite the idiot. ;)


Trinity13 said...

I'm sure the Capt felt bad, but he sure did have a great time with Bev!!!

Barbara said...

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Cough! I think we'll disregard that happened down there.

Tanda said...

Someone had to have written it all down in their diary. Start searching!

mrsmogul said...

I send him a cough drop!

Nic said...

DRAT IT ALL!!!!! I want to hear Bev's side of the story of what happened while everyone was down there. ;)

Jabafatboy said...

I want to know why data didnt take any pictures of that bikini ?

Talk about deprivin us of enjoyment.

and bev in a loin cloth , dang we missed some good shots

Helen Louise said...

I'm sorry to hear that it was all too good to be true :(

Jean-Luc Picard said...

All those images of Bev in a loin cloth will have to be left to your imagination.

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