Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Lwaxana Troi

.

The day seemed to start off so well.

For once, it didn't begin with a headache, but I developed one soon after Counselor Troi informed me we would be picking her mother up and taking her to her home planet of Betazed.

Oh no, not her?

Lwaxana Troi has always been a problem ever since she boards the vessel. The first time she did, she eyed me as a possible husband.

Let's just hope it's a trouble-free journey this time.

I take an extra aspirin and go down to Transporter Room 2 with Deanna Troi to welcome her.

Lwaxana Troi beams aboard and instantly sees me. I go all tense.

"Welcome aboard, Mrs Troi. Its a pleas....."

"Jean-Luc!" she exclaims, and runs towards me, and grabs me in a vice-like grip and kisses me on both cheeks, "It's been so long since we last talked!"

She turns to her daughter.

"How are you, my dear? Why haven't you got married, yet? Aren't there enough men on the ship?"

"Mother!" she exclaims and turns a bright red.

The two of them then have a heated telepathic exchange of words. They both look at me occasionally as if I am intruding.

After a while, Mrs Troi grabs my arm.

"Come on, Jean-Luc, you can personally escort me to my quarters."

I notice her giving a wink to Deanna, who looks disgustedly on. Quickly, I send a message to Riker on the way.

"Get the Enterprise on Warp Factor 9.5 to Betazed."

"We'll be there in two hours, Captain, instead of the scheduled three days at that speed."

"I know that, Number One. Just do it! Picard out."

Sometimes, desperate measures have to be undertaken when a person is in dire straits.

3 comments:

R.A. Slater said...

pray........surely Mrs. Troi wouldn' tbe so rude as to interupt your prayers....hmm...then again........There is no hiding from her, is there?!?!?!!?? AHHHHH!!!!!!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Angel, thank you for your sympathy. It's good to know someone understands the problems I face.

Ciera, there is no hiding place from Lwaxana. I tried to conceal myself in a Jeffries tube, but she found me.

Doug, the Universal Translator does not understand 21st Century dialect. Smoking is outlawed in the 24th Century.

RenaSherwood said...

If you started to chase her, she'd probably run away...at least, that's what happened that black cat got rid of Pepe LePew.

I know what--introduce that stallion to her! You know, the one that got you out of the Admiral's Conference! That'll keep someone busy, anyway.