Wednesday, February 09, 2011

The Space Rift (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Data

I am currently in the shuttlecraft Galileo, and have been swallowed up by the expanding space rift that threatens the entire universe. The other side of the rift is incapable of sustaining life, which is why I am here. I am about to release an aortic energy field which may close it. If it happens suddenly, I may be trapped here. My positronic brain is under great pressure here.


The Communications network crackles.

"Galileo." it says, "This is T'Pol on Communications. Can you hear me, Data?"

"Affirmative." I reply, "I am about to release the aortic memory field." In the background, I hear my girlfriend Jennifer crying "I love you, Data."

I flick the switch, and the shuttle starts to shake. A huge energy pulse burst forth. More circuits explode on the panel. I am beginning to wonder if this is a good idea.

"Galileo." the crackly reception says. "This is Picard. Get out of there, Mr Data!"

The reception is worse than digital radio out in the hills, although I manage to ascertain what is being said. I look at my Control Panel and activate the Booster Button. I am hoping that this is not one of the circuits affected, or I am 'toast', as Ensign Britney is likely to say.

The shuttle lurches forward, and it is soom bouncing through space like the roller coaster at the Starfleet Theme Park. The stars are visible in front of me, but the rift gap is considerably smaller. Just in time, the Galileo shoots through and closes behind me.


"Well done, Mr Data." says the Captain, a few hours later in his Ready Room. "With your help, the Enterprise has managed to save the universe yet again."

"Yes." Commander Riker laughs, "I hope someone is keeping score on how often we do this."

I am about to answer him with a precise reply when Jennifer Baxter bursts in.

"Data, my love!" she cries, "I'm so glad you're back again. I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Nor I you, Jenny." I reply. She hugs me and almost presses my 'Off' switch, "But why are you wearing your black leather outfit? Are you going on a mission?".

"No." she answers with a laugh, "Did you forget the Underworld movie marathon is on tonight? We have ten films to sit through."


Susan said...

Poor Data, I get the feeling he'd rather be back on the shuttle craft than having to watch 10 films back to back.

Gordon said...

Maybe he should have Dr Crusher and Geordi look over his positronic brain just to check for damage..

Jack said...

My earlier comment was apparently sucked into the space rift...

The Curmudgeon said...

I'm missing a cultural reference here. What is the Underworld series and why is it appropriate to watch in a leather suit? Never having actually worn a leather jumpsuit, I don't know for certain, but it does not look like the sort of comfy clothing one might choose for extended movie viewing....

I understand why Data is uniquely suited to sitting through a 10-movie marathon, however. That part I get.

Linda said...

Darn! I wanted to hear the answer to the precise number of times the Enterprise has saved the universe!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmy, in Underworld, the lead character is Selene, playede by Kate Beckinsale who wears a black leather outfit. She bears a close resemblance (actually) identical resemblance to Jennifer Baxter!

Gorden, I think Jenny can tell if Data has been damaged or not.

Ellee Seymour said...

You have some very pretty girls on your spaceship, captain.