Monday, April 19, 2010

Annika Hansen In Unimatrix Zero (Part One)

Guest Poster: Annika Hanson

I haven't posted for ages from here in the Borg fantasy zone of Unimatrix Zero. All my duties as joint Mayor have kept me SO busy. As you know, only drones with the recessive gene can enter this realm. The Alpha Borg Queen and her Queens are constantly on the hunt for those drones. Wouldn't it alarm them if they knew that I was actually the human version of their favourite drone, Seven of Nine, currently on the USS Enterprise?

This is what I look like in so-called 'real life':

Not likely to win any beauty pageants, am I? Still, Seven might win one of the borg held one. I know a lot of the drones on the Cube she used to be on fancied her and had her as their pin-up drone.

With my former lover, Axum being the other joint Mayor, there has been no end of arguing regarding policy. It keeps getting changed, and the poor citizens of Utopia Paradiso don't know whether they are coming or going.

It's a bit like a normal planet, really!

The trouble is, us citizens can only exist in Unimatrix Zero when our drone selves are in their alcoves regenerating. As soon as the drones wake up, we vanish!

This makes a Council Meeting very difficult. One moment, Axum and I are addressing various members, and the next, some are appearing and disappearing. We keep having to bring them up to speed with what has happened.

The worst is when I vanish. Axum takes over meetings completely and pushes his policies through when I am not around, such as the building of lots of golf courses. Axum just happens to be a golf fanatic. At the time we were together, he always used to say when we were in bed, "Call me Tiger."

I'm digressing again. Seven has just been walking around, so I've had to leave Unimatrix Zero. now I'm back, and Axum wants to talk to me.

"Annika." he says, "I've had a great idea."

This sounds like trouble.

"I think I need to appoint a Deputy Mayor that will carry out my duties whenever my drone is awake." he continues, "I think Vi Toran would do the job admirably. She has a good knowledge of politics and..."

"HER!" I exclaim, "As that Bajoran floozy enticed you away from me, all she knows is how to steal men. You appointed her as Peacekeeper to sit between us and mediate a while ago and now you want her as Deputy?"

"I can do what I like!" Axum says arrogantly.

"So can I!" I retort and march off.

This means trouble!

To be continued...


The Curmudgeon said...

But who can Annika appoint? Some beefcake-type hunk perhaps to wean Vi away from Axum?

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