The Walt Springer Show (Part Three)

The last transcript from 'The Walt Springer Show'...

----------------------------

Applause

Walt Springer: "Hi folks; welcome back. We are talking to the senior staff from the Starship Enterprise. Let's go to Lieutenant Worf. How do you feel being the only Klingon on board?"

Worf: "Actually, my son Alexander is on there."

WS: "Oh, sure, but being a Klingon, do you think you might not be too popular? After all, our two races never seemed to got on, did they?"

Worf: "Are you trying to cause trouble?"

WS: "No, why would I?"

Worf: "I assure you, Mr Springer, your minions would not be able to protect you if I lost my temper with you!"

Audience: "Ooooooh"

WS: "Ok, Lieutenant, let's not get too hasty. Now then, Commander Riker, how come you've held the same job for so long? Don't you have any career aspirations, or do Starfleet not think you are good enough as a Captain."

Riker: "I'll take a Captain's job when the right one comes along. In the meantime, I'm happy to be the Commander on the flagship vessel of Starfleet."

WS: "Don't you think you'd better get a Captain's job soon, otherwise some might think you'll be err... 'past it?'"

Audience laughs loud.

Riker: "What are you implying? Move on, Springer!"

WS: "Oh yes, sure, Commander. Now we come to Doctor Beverly Crusher and Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Doctor, why don't you tell us all about your relationship with the Captain?"

Audience: "Oooooooh!"

Beverly: "Err...ummm."

Picard: "I don't think that's any of your business, Springer. Doctor Crusher and I refuse to comment any further on our relationship, which is purely professional anyway."

WS: "Well folks, as Jean-Luc & Beverly are keeping quiet about what they get up to, perhaps our last guest can shed some light. Give a big welcome to Cadet Wesley Crusher!"

The audience cheers and Picard puts his face in his hands again.

WS: "Now then, Wes, perhaps you can tell me whether your mom likes Captain Picard? Do they go on dates?"

Wesley: "Oh, sure, Walt. They love going on dates. It takes ages for her to get ready when they do. She's loves those dates. They might even get married someday and the Captain will be my stepfather. It'll be great and I can call him Dad."

Picard winces and Beverly is red-faced; both are glaring at Wes.

WS: "Well, we do have a happy couple here, don't we folks? When will the wedding be, Captain? Will I get an invite? Maybe we could do the wedding right here on the show?"

Audience cheers; Picard gets up and suddenly punches Sringer in the eye. He falls on the floor. All the senior staff applaud and walk off with him.

WS: "That was an interesting ending, wasn't it folks? Just time for my Final Thought. Just remember that in space, no one can hear you say 'Ooops! I shouldn't have pressed that button!' Goodnight, and tune in next week, when we hear from a Bajoran dating agency that have Cardassians on their books. Until then, goodbye."

Audience applauds.