Sunday, March 12, 2006

The Bowling Match (Part One)

I've just been informed to take a Secure Channel message on my monitor.

This must be very important.

Admiral Crane, the Federation Leisure Of Planets (FLOP) representative is one the other end.

"Hello Captain Picard." he says, "I've got some great news for you. The Enterprise crew has been selected to represent the Federation this year in the annual bowling match against the Klingons."

I look stunned. Is that it?

"Yes!" Crane continues enthusiastically, the annual Federation vs Klingon Bowling Match is a great event. It does get very competitive. The Klingons like to win."

"I'm sure they do, Sir." I comment, "What do I have to do?"

"You have to nominate four players to me now for your team, plus a substitute in case of injury. It's a good idea to have a woman in the team so that the Federation is seen to be representative of both sexes."

I think for a moment.

"I'll nominate myself, Commander Riker, Lieutenant Commander Data and Lieutenant Worf, with Counselor Troi as a substitute."

Crane winces.

"Er, Captain, I don't think that will suffice." he says, "There would be a lot of problems with the Klingons if we have Lieutenant Worf on. They will see him as a traitor who should be on their side. Besides that, you don't have a woman in your starting line-up"

I think again.

"Very well," I say, "I'll nominate myself, Commander Riker, Lieutenant Commander Data and Counselor Troi, with Dr Crusher as the substitute."

"That's excellent" Crane tells me, "How good are they at ten-pin bowling?"

"I haven't a clue" I truthfully tell him, "You asked me to nominate a team, and I have; whether they are any good, we shall see."

Crane has a gloomy look, as if he already thinks the Cup will be in the Klingon Empire's trophy cupboard this year."

The trouble is, he might be right.

I say goodbye to Crane and leave the Ready Room to inform the team.

Riker is all keen; he tells me he loves to play competition games.

Data says he has consulted the computer and has downloaded all the details into his positroniv brain.

"What is ten-pin bowling?" inquires Deanna. Oh dear.

Beverly tells be she will be pleased to help out if someone is injured.

It looks like a bowling whitewash this year.


We arrive at Starbase 6, where the match is taking place.

Our team, named 'The Feds' beam down to the landing sot outside the Auditorium. We are greeted by a small man and five vicious looking Klingons.

"You must be the Federation team." says the man, "Welcome to Starbase 6. I am Gordon Snivelly, and this is the Klingon team."

One of them looks at me aggressively.

"We are The Destroyers, and we shall demolish the Federation Opposition!" he angrily informs me, " I am K'Plath, and this is Varl, T'Karth, and R'Salm. The Klingon woman is Servalia."

Servalia is a very attractive woman who winks at Riker.

"Hello handsome!" she says.

Deanna glares at Riker as he smiles.

"The will be no fraternisation with the opposition!" K'Plath tells her, "We shall now go in and destroy your team!"

Snivelly tells us what to do, and leaves us.

We all walk into the Auditorium.


no_average_girl said...

thanks for the prayers! they are much appreciated!

Rowan said...

Quick. Can't Deanna figure out which one is least confident and exploit his weekness, er, flirt like all holy hell?

But then again, I'm sure that Data will strike every time. He is your ringer, is he not?

Star_Kindler said...

Count on Data. I would have taken Geordi along too, you never know how useful that VISOR might be with hand/eye coordination.

Look on the bright side, Riker will be occupied, so you'll get to see Beverly bowling...

Professor Xavier said...

The Destroyers? Sounds like trouble. Your best bet might be the old "itching powder in the jockey shorts" gambit. Good luck!


Bowling...sounds like fun. Good Luck! Hope your team wins.

Vampirella said...

ohhh bowling can be a violent game

hope you are prepared

Wedge Antillies said...

So, tell me again how this is supposed to keep peace between the Federation and the Kingons?

And I thought the Galactic Empire was squirrely!

Trinity13 said...

Use the bumper lanes Capt!

Rowan said...

Oh yes. Bumper lanes and techno music. Now that'll distract the Klingons.

Barbara said...

Do the Klingons have something up their sleeve? I don't remember the Klingons as being very progressive, I woundn't think having a woman on the team would matter to them.

Viamarie said...

I love to play tenpin bowling. Hope you do too. Go for strikes and spares all the way.

Viamarie said...

Tenpin bowling is my favorite sport. Hope you like it too. Go go go for strikes and spares all the way!

Captain Berk said...

I hope you made your team watch 'Kingpin' before the game.

Get Riker to keep working that smooching angle with the opposition team member. That way, all the klingon men will get angry and play badly, whereas Troi will step up to the plate and deliver the goods to show how feisty she is.

Watch the victory roll on in.

Remember to tear your shirt off afterwards and punch the sky.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Thanks for the tip, Captain!

Viamarie, perhaps the team needed advice drom you; I think you're an expert!

Ciera said...

FLOP? great!

TNChick said...

Oh I love bowling. I know ya'll will do well :)

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