Thursday, March 09, 2006

The Ferengi Shop

"I don't think it's a good idea!" I try to say to the Admiral, while drinking Earl Grey in my Ready Room.

"It's too late, Captain, it's being set up" replies Admiral Warrington, who was responsible for planetary species integration, "We want to show the Ferengi that we like them, so we are establishing a shop run by them here on the Enterprise."

"What about replicators? Surely people will prefer to use them?" I tell him.

"That's true" he tells me, "But the shop will specialise in items that are originals, and can only be appreciated as such. After all, no one likes replicated Klingon Bloodwine, do they?"

"It'll never work!" I say gloomily, "The Ferengi just want to make as much profit as possible."

"Now, Captain." Warrington sharply tells me, "We don't want that sort of attitude here; make Mr Tok feel welcome when he arrives."

I grudgingly agree.

Riker tells me on the Com that Tok is ready to be beamed aboard from Starbase 2, where we are currently orbiting.

The Admiral and I, plus the senior staff go to Transporter Room 3 to welcome the Ferengi.

"Now remember, Captain" whispers the Admiral to me, "Be hospitable to him"

I mumble something and a figure beams aboard.

Tok looks arounds at us all in a very furtive manner to us all. I approach him.

"Hello Mr Tok" I formally say, "I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard, and I'd like to welcome you to..

"Is that the best outfit you have?" he asks me, "I can run you up a really classy outfit; just come to my new shop and you'll look like a real Captain."

"This is a regulation uniform" I frostily tell him, "We not not allow individual styles."

"That's too bad" he continues, "I've got a super watch collection here. " He lifts his sleeve to reveal a large collection.

"This one tells the stardate in 1504 different languages" he happily informs me as he points to one. I decline. He makes Quark from Deep Space Nine look like a respectable member of society.

He looks at Beverly and Deanna.

"Ah, the ladies" he says, as he walks to them, "I'll be having some wonderful dresses for you in the shop. You can see which ones suit you. I'll give you two a special 10% discount if you have them within 24 hours."

Beverly & Deanna look very pleased at this prospect.

Admiral Warrington gets ready to beam off.

"I'll leave him with him, Captain." he says with a grin, before vanishing.

---------------

A little later, I go to the Bridge so that we can break orbit from Starbase 2.

No one is there except Data.

"Where is everyone?" I ask him.

"They are all at The Opening Day Sale in the shop of the new Ferengi resident, Mr Tok, Captain." he replies.

I walk down to Tok's shop; crowds of crewmembers are trying to get into the shop. I see Deanna coming out, looking pleased over a new dress. Worf has an engraved bat'leth. I push past.

"Hey, wait your turn!" says one crewmember to me, "I've been waiting ages in the queue."

I give up and decide to return to the Bridge and wait for them to return.

Whatever will happen if the Enterprise is attacked on a Sale Day?

19 comments:

Shelley said...

I think you should let them make you a spiffy, even more suave uniform Captain! Something pretty with tassles or something....LOL! Great post, as always. Glad to be back. Shel

Ciera said...

Perhaps it's just the weapon to use against the Borg Queen Deanna

Star_Kindler said...

Oh dear. If I were you, I'd have Data make bets against Tok to obtain all the merchandise. This way, there won't be anything to buy.

That, or keep track of everyone so they can't enter the store while on duty without your permission.

no_average_girl said...

the shop frenzy will die down soon enough, captain...no need to fret!

Professor Xavier said...

You could always slap some kind of import tax on each item sold. 300% should be a good disincentive to get people to give up shopping and get back to their work.

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i don't know, but if there a sale, i'll be there too.

Magdalena said...

hmmm I will need to visit the enterprise now

Bra Briefs said...

Cool! Hey Goten we're going To the Enterprise.

Son Goten said...

Noooooooo! Kill me now. No I didn't really mean it Vegeta!

Rowan said...

Tariffs, I tell ya!
He'll be out of your, ahem, hair in no time.

Viamarie said...

We won't let anyone spoil Sale Day.

Enjoy your shopping.

Trinity13 said...

Well, you have to look your best if you are ever attacked Capt!

Lazy Daisy said...

Hmm...will the captain subcome? Here from Michele's

Erin said...

Swinging by from Michele's today. Have a fabulous weekend!!

Blue Monkey Jammies said...

Perhaps a Quark's franchise... throw out a few coffee tables, some stools.. it's all about the profits baby!

Pearl said...

Nice story. Tell me more about those fabrics.

Im chele In [dot] LA said...

Over from the other Michele's today..
Have a great sunday

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