The Space Rift (Part One)

For once, things seem to be going calmly. mThat's a sure sign that something is going to happen.

Anyway, everyone is in their positions. I am in the Captain's Chair enjoying my Earl Grey, while Riker is having coffee and a donut. Like I said, everyone is in their normal places.



"So like I said." Riker drones on, "Deanna and I were watching As The Galaxy Turns yesterday on TV and it turns out that Brad is the secret son of Jeff and Miranda, when he thought his parents were Tom and Eleanor. Not only that, Sally has been arrested by the police, but was framed by Christina who wanted they boyfriend Jack to herself. Meanwhile..."

"Sensors reveal object 20 parsecs away." Data suddenly states. What a relief that was! Saved by the android!

"What is it, Mr Data." I ask in an authoritarian voice,

"Nothing, sir" he adds.

I look at Riker and Deanna with a puzzled expression. Data is always someone who will overdescribe something that we are about to see. To say 'nothing' is minimalist.

"Whatever is that supposed to mean, Mr Data" I say, slightly irritated, "Can you elaboarate."

"Not really, sir." he answers, "What the sensors are showing is nothing...a rift in space where there is nothing in it. no stars, no planets, no life."

I order the long range viewer to show what is on the video screen.



"We'll have to put some warnings around for starships to avoid that part of space." Riker comments, "Who knows what would happen if anyone went in it?"

"That will not be an adequate solution, Commander." Data replies, "Evidence shows that the gap in space is getting larger at a huge rate. Before long it will be the dominant part of the universe and not long after is all that will be....empty blackness with all life gone."

I groan. It looks like the Enterprise will be trying to save the universe again.

To be continued...

TWQ: Relaxing

This week, TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks about relaxing.

What do you like to do to relax? List as  many as you wish.

My answers are:

*Bath
*Reading
*Computer work

Now it's over to you......

Riker At The Bar

Guest Poster: Will Riker

I'm in Ten Forward at the busiest time, which is the late evening. A lot of the crew have a drink at this time before going off to their quarters with their spouse...or someone else's spouse occasionally!

As ever, Guinan is running the bar. She is managingf to serve so many people. I don't know how she does it. I must admit, she looks a little tired right now.

"Are you all right, Guinan?" I ask, "It looks like you could do with some help."



"I'm fine, Commander." she replies, quickly, though I see sweat on her face. Suddenly, her legs buckle and Guinan collapses on the floor.

Beverly Crusher rushes forward to analyse her.

"It looks like she has El-Aurian Flu" the doctor summises, "I'll beam her back to Sick Bay and give her a cure,"

"What about the bar?" I ask, "Who is going to look after that?"

Beverly looks around quickly.

"Will, can you do that?" she asks before the doctor and her patient beam off.

I look around, and see a long queue of impatient customers at the bar. Running behind it, I ask the first one what he wants.

"A Siruis 3 Cocktail." he answers. I look puzzled and ask him what it is.

The customer sighs and goes through a lengthy processes detailing the twelve ingredients I should be putting in to create it. By the time I have done this, the queue size has doubled. This is more stressful than a Borg invasion.

"Want some help?" Ensign Britney calls out, "I'll serve them and tell you what ingredients you need."

Before long, the qeues start to diminish, and Ensign Britney is working away .



"I think we're starting to win, Commander." Britney comments to me as she goes to get a PanGalactic GargleBlaster that I've concocted from the bar.

"Thanks to you, Britney." I answer, "You've saved the day. I need a good fatty donut and a Devanian Whiskey when this is over."

"Well done, you two." says a familiar voice approaching.



Guinan smiles as she walks shakily with Beverly holding her.

"You've both done a great job." the El-Aurian tells us, "I'll be ready in an hour, as the Flu will have disappeared. Will, do you want to be a stasnd-in barman?"

"Er..no thanks," I say, "I'd prefer to stay the other side of the bar."

Boothby In The Garden

Guest Poster: Boothby

As Head Gardener of Starfleet Academy, I have to keep an eye on all the greenery around here. It can be had with these young Cadets here. I tell you they have absolutely no regard for plant life. Those in the classrooms are taught to respect all forms of life, but when it comes to some daisies or a beautifully shaped plant, you can forget it.

I tell you what happened this morning, I went to start and found that an area in a secluded part of the garden had been squashed flat! A couple of young whippersnappers making out together after a party, no doubt. Some Cadets think they come here just for the partying, and that learning how to be in Starfleet is just a small interruption between them.

Things have always been like that, though. That Jean-Luc Picard was one of the most troublesome partygoers I ever knew at the Academy. How he ever got to be a Starfleet Captain is beyond me. Virtually every night he would stagger across the lawns drunk, or I would find him the next morning on a flowerbed, having passed out.

"Hi there, Boothby, Nice to see you." says a female voice.



It's Beverly Crusher. I must say, I always had the hots for her when she was the young Cadet Beverly Howard. She still has great pins. A redhead always looks gorgeous in my book!

"Err...hello Doctor Crusher." I say, reddening slightly, "What brings you to the Academy?"

"Oh, I'm here to give a Surgery lecture at Starfleet Medical." she replies, "Besides that, I can get a bit of shopping done at the Mall. Good to see you still keeping the Academy Gardens looking beautiful, Mr Boothby."

"Yes, well, no one else would do it right." I say, "So I maintain it. If these young whippersnappers only kept off the grass and fauna, my job would be a lot easier."

"Ah, yes." Beverly smiles. "I know Captain Picard wasn't always on his best behaviour as a Cadet, but he asked me to apologise for him."

"That's fine, Doctor Crusher." I tell her, but don't mention that I saw Beverly and Picard kissing six months ago in the Japanese Gardens.

Quite a few rare blooms lost their lives as a result of what followed afterwards!

Beverly smiles and strides off. Ah, if only I were younger.....

TWQ: Unfinished Books

TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks this week about books you haven't been able to finish.

Which books have been so bad or incomphrehensible that you have given up reading it before the end? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffeneggar (intensely disliked every character)
Moby Dick by Herman Melville (a fair start, but bogged down in symbolism)
Blow Fly by Patricia Cornwell  (virtually finished but disliked the new writing style)
Hornet's Nest by Patricia Cornwell (awful characters, amateurly written)
Between The Acts by Virginia Woolf (this final novel was a really poor one from this talented writer)

Now it's over to you...

1100th Post!

Who can believe this is the 1100th post on my Journal? It doesn't seem that long since I put my first words down. Since then, me, the Enterprise and it's crew have come through an unforgettable series of adventures, weddings, births and all manner of events.

In fact I can remember when,.....

"Oh liven it up, Jean-Luc!"

What's that?  I turn round, then continue...

I wonder if anyone remembers the time three years ago.....

"Come on, Jean-Luc, you'll have everybody leaving in droves!"

I turn round again; this time a figure appears.



"Go away, Q!" I snap," I'm trying to do this. It's my 1100th post, and can hardly do this if you blink and make my clothes disappear, like you usually do."

"Now that WOULD make this post interesting and give everybody a good laugh." Q comments, "But I know what you're doing, so Im here to contribute some ideas to our post.."

"You can contribute by vanishing into thin air, Q" I tell him, "This is certainly not YOUR post."

"Well, so far, your speech is very dull, Jean-Luc" Q observes, "I remember that lecture you did at Starbase Academy for the Cadets. It was all about 17th century archaeology digs in the Loire Valley region of France. Not exactly a crowd-puller, was it? The Cadets started leaving, claiming they were late for another class!"

I grumble, as I recall the incident. Some people just don't appreciate archaeology.

"Let's liven the Post up!", Jean-Luc, "This will get more watching."



"Q!" I exclaim, "This is meant to be a serious relection on my my previous posts!"

"Well, wasn't this woman in a recent post when you and Beverly visited Santa Claus in a holodeck program?" asks Q.

"I suppose so." I grudgingly admit.

"So it is a reflection on your past posts?" he tells me with a laugh.

Bev comes in.



"Hello, Jean-Luc" she asks, then sees Q, "What is HE doing here?"

"Being an annoyance." I tell her, "I'm trying to do my 1100th post, but he has just been trouble."

"Hello Beverly" Q says with a smile, "You do look starchy in that official uniform. Let me change it for you."

There is a sudden flash, and Bev reappears looking very different.



"Thank you, Q" Bev says, "It saves me getting ready for my date with Jean-Luc tonight in the French restaurant holodeck program."

"Yes, well.." I grudgingly say, "You do look gorgeous, Bev. Thank you, Q."

I turn around and Q has gone.

"Now I can do the 1100th post." I say.

"Space almost complete" the computer warns.

"Oh, well that's it, then" I comment.

"Come on and let's get in early to the French restaurant, Jean-Luc." Bev laughs, "We can celebrate your 1100th post with a bottle of Arkan '24."

Jenny Versus The Baroness (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I'm on Taurus IV, doing an unofficial mission for Captain Picard. I'm trying to stop the Baroness from stealing valuable technology. Her real name is Anastasia Cobray, and dresses like I do in black leather. The Baroness unsucessfully tried to persauade me to team up with her in stealing things, claiming we are alike. I turned her down, and am mdetermined to stop her once and for all.

-----------

This will be the big finale, I'm sure. Now I know that top secret government technology is being housed in a warehouse, I'm going there to put paid to this woman once and for all!

When I do, I lie in wait. Fortunately I picked up fome snacks at Ted's Donut, Pizza and Burger Emporium before I got here. It could be a long night.

Mmmmm. That was delicious. I'll have to stop by and have another pizza on the way back. Hold on. I think I've heard something.

I look in my infra red glaases...something I picked up at Jeff's Spy Store. Ah, there she is...




I jump from the trees where I was hiding and land on the ground. Ouch! Remind me not to do THAT again. Quickly I pick myself up and get my multiphase disruptor and knife all ready, then rush through a small tunnel and out to surprise her.



"You're SO predictable, Jenny." purrs the Baroness, "As we are alike, I can tell everything you are going to do."

"So can I, Anastasia." I reply tartly, "Shall we spend this fight trying to read each other's mind, or settle this for good?"

"Such a pity." she smiles, "You would have been the perfect partner. Very well, Jennifer. Lets finish it."

Before she finishes, her disruptor releases a beam of energy which just grazes my arm. The pain is immense, but I'm still in one piece and not disintegrated. Villains are supposed to finish their speech before firing. Doesn't she know that?

We run towards each other and clash, knocking the disruptors out of our hands. We hit and wrestle on the ground. I have to be careful as there is a clifftop nearby. As we get near the edge, we get hold of our disruptors. Anastasia does first, but the ground beneath her crumbles and she plummets into the darkness below.



I look over a ledge nearby, but can see nothing.

-----------------

Several hours later, I am back in Captain Picard's Ready Room.He is sipping his Earl Grey, while I munch on one pf the hundred pizzas I picked at Ted's Donut, Pizza and Burger Emporium before beaming back.

"Is the Baroness dead or not, Jennifer." asks the Captain.

"I spent a while searching the ground below, sir." I reply, "There is no sign of her anywhere. It's my opinion that Anastasia Corbray has faked her death and has escaped from Taurus IV. Sooner or later, when something comes up, she'll reappear."

"Well the government of Taurus IV are happy as she has stopped stealing, but we'll be ready for her wherever the Baroness turns up." says the Captain.

"So will my disruptor." I comment, "The Baroness and I have a score to settle. There's only room for one black leather clad woman in this galaxy!"

TWQ: Unobtainable DVDs

This week, TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks about those DVDs that you have never managed  to get.

Which movies or TV shows have you been unable to get on DVD as the studios have failed to put them out? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Raise The Red Lantern: This Chinese movie has been on DVD, but with no subtitles or with a very poor print. The studio has never issued a 'proper' version, though it is much sought after.

* WKRP In Cincinnati. This gem never made it on to DVD.

* Midnight Caller. This drama was really well made. A complete box set would be fab.

Now it's over to you...