Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Riker At The Bar

Guest Poster: Will Riker

I'm in Ten Forward at the busiest time, which is the late evening. A lot of the crew have a drink at this time before going off to their quarters with their spouse...or someone else's spouse occasionally!

As ever, Guinan is running the bar. She is managingf to serve so many people. I don't know how she does it. I must admit, she looks a little tired right now.

"Are you all right, Guinan?" I ask, "It looks like you could do with some help."

"I'm fine, Commander." she replies, quickly, though I see sweat on her face. Suddenly, her legs buckle and Guinan collapses on the floor.

Beverly Crusher rushes forward to analyse her.

"It looks like she has El-Aurian Flu" the doctor summises, "I'll beam her back to Sick Bay and give her a cure,"

"What about the bar?" I ask, "Who is going to look after that?"

Beverly looks around quickly.

"Will, can you do that?" she asks before the doctor and her patient beam off.

I look around, and see a long queue of impatient customers at the bar. Running behind it, I ask the first one what he wants.

"A Siruis 3 Cocktail." he answers. I look puzzled and ask him what it is.

The customer sighs and goes through a lengthy processes detailing the twelve ingredients I should be putting in to create it. By the time I have done this, the queue size has doubled. This is more stressful than a Borg invasion.

"Want some help?" Ensign Britney calls out, "I'll serve them and tell you what ingredients you need."

Before long, the qeues start to diminish, and Ensign Britney is working away .

"I think we're starting to win, Commander." Britney comments to me as she goes to get a PanGalactic GargleBlaster that I've concocted from the bar.

"Thanks to you, Britney." I answer, "You've saved the day. I need a good fatty donut and a Devanian Whiskey when this is over."

"Well done, you two." says a familiar voice approaching.

Guinan smiles as she walks shakily with Beverly holding her.

"You've both done a great job." the El-Aurian tells us, "I'll be ready in an hour, as the Flu will have disappeared. Will, do you want to be a stasnd-in barman?"

" thanks," I say, "I'd prefer to stay the other side of the bar."


Heather Dugan ("Footsteps") said...

Well done. I'd say you deserve one "on the house"...

The Curmudgeon said...

When I tend bar an exotic drink is scotch AND soda. That's what I would have told all these people ordering drinks that Douglas Adams made up. And I would have put out a tip glass, too.

Gordon said...

A Pangalactic Gargleblaster - the alcoholic equivalent of being hit by a slice of lemon wrapped in a gold brick..
Yeah exotic order at my bar would have to be pineapple, mango and orange smoothie :P

Fly Girl said...

The flu on the Enterprise! Yes, a Gargleblaster certainly seems called for.

Michael Manning said...

Reminded me of Steve McQueen's breakfast: A slice of cake with two cups of tea--maybe a beer later on. However, in the wake of the flu bug, one must take all precautions on board The Enterprise! ; )

Jean-Luc Picard said...

This was El-Aurian Flu. It only affects members of that race like Guinan