Q & Y (Part Two)

Editors Note:

The universe has been invaded by a being from the Y Continuum, who intends to destroy it completely as it prefers it to be an empty void.  Captain Picard, knowing he cannot win against such a creature has called out for Q to intervene.

------------------



Guest Poster: Q

"Q!" shouts another member of the Continuum to me, "You'll never guess what has happened. Captain Picard needs your help!"

I nearly choke on the drink I ham having with my girlfriend Q.

"I thought I heard something." I mention, "But as Picard has never asked me for anything in the past, I assumed I was mistaken. In fact I was going to arrange an appointment at the Continuum ear clinic."

"Well, it's true."

"In that case, I'd better get down there." I say, "This sort of thing happens rarely."

---------------

The next moment I appear on the Bridge of the Enterprise.

"Greetings mon Capitano!" I say in my usual cheery voice, "What can Q do for you?"

I look at all the Bridge crew, and instead of them looking at me, they all have their eyes affixed to the large video screen behind me. Slowly I look round.



"Oh." I say quietly.

"Q, YOU PATHETIC INDIVIDUAL" Y says to me, "YOUR MISERABLE CONTINUUM SHALL BE ERASED FROM EXISTANCE ALONG WITH THIS UNIVERSE."



"You two know each other then?" Riker comments somewhat sarcastically.

"Yes." I reply, "The Q and Y Continuums have always been opposed to each other. While the Qs are all warm and cuddly like me, the Ys are vicious and nasty. Not the type you want to meet on a dark night...or at all for that matter."

Picard laughs.

"The Q's warm and cuddly?" he comments, "I hardly think so. That Continuum has been more trouble..."

"Compared to the Ys, mon Capitano." I reply, then turn to Y.

"Shall we settle this over a friendly game of poker, Y?" I ask.

"NO." he replies firmly, "EVERYONE KNOWS HOW YOU CHEAT AT CARDS."

"Oh." I say, some what disappointed, "I hope you hadn't heard about that."

"HOWEVER." Y says with a laugh, "WE COULD DO BATTLE. IF YOU WIN I SHALL LEAVE YOU, THIS UNIVERSE AND THE CONTINUUM ALONE. IF I WIN, IT WILL ALL BE DESTROYED."

"That is high stakes." I say, "I suppose I have no choice."

To be continued...

TWQ: Seven Days

TWQ (the Weekend Question) looks at what we've been doing in the previous week.

What interesting or unusual things happened to you in the last seven days? List as many as you wish.

My answer is:

Last Sunday, while we were travelling, a small truck bumped into the back of the car. It just dented the back light, and no one was injured. A witness saw it was the truck driver's fault. The car is still driveable, but we get a complimentary car next week while it isd being repaired.

Now it's over to you...

Q & Y (Part One)

I sit in my Captain's chair as all the senior staff are gossiping about Worf and Jadzia's impending wedding. I  try and keep a starship that has 1500 people in it at the meantime.



"Well of course they were so suited for each other." Jennifer Baxter says to Ro Laren, "It's a wonder the two of them never married before."

"You're right, Jenny." Ro replies, "Did you know it's considered good luck to break a clavicle on a Klingon wedding night?"

The two of them chat away while Deanna Troi sits next to me with her arms folded, clearly in a huff. She hasn't said a word all morning except for the tut of disapproval when the wedding subject is brought up. As she and Worf were lovers before Jadzia came on the ship, Deanna has kept quiet.

As the Bridge crew continue to discuss the coming nuptials, I see something on the viewscreen.

"LOOK!" I say loudly, as I know I'm not going to get any attention any other way, "There is something the Enterprise is approaching."

Everybody reluctantly stops talking about the wedding and turns to the screen.

"What is it?" Riker asks.

"I don't know." I say, as if I am supposed to reel off an answer, "Increase magnification, Mr Data."



"It looks like trouble." Riker comments, "We'd better back out of here..."

"WHAT ARE YOU?" a voice booms out.

"I believe that it is trying to communicate with us." Data says, stating the obvious again.

"We are humans." I say clearly, "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard..."

"SUCH A PATHETIC SPECIES, AS ALL ARE IN THIS UNIVERSE." the voice tells us.

"Who are we talking to?" I ask.

"YOU ARE SO INSIGNIFICANT." says the voice, "WHERE I COME FROM, I AM KNOWN AS Y"

I look at Riker and Deanna, who are thinking the same as I do.

"Do you happen to know a being called Q?" I ask

"THE Q CONTINUUM ARE IRRELEVANT." Y answers, "ALL OF THEM NEED TO BE ERADICATED AND ALL LIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE SO THAT THE Y CONTINUUM IS ALL THAT REMAINS."

Riker sighs.

"It looks like it's 'save the universe time' again, Number One." I tell him, "But we will need Q's help to do it with."

To be continued.....


Editor's note: This will be continued after the TWQ as time does not permit me to conclude it this week.

TWQ: Bad Inventions

TWQ (the Weekend Question) looks this week at inventions that were not particularly good, achieved nothing, or you found annoying.

What inventions have you not particularlarly liked for various reasons? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Cell phone tunes. These can be really shrill, loud and irritating, and go off usually at quiet times.

* Speed cameras. Though they were installed to increase safety, they are now put everywhere just as a means of acquiring money off the motorist.

* Automatic checkouts in supermarkets. I much prefer a human to do it!

Now it's over to you...

Worf's Proposal (Part Two)

Editor's Note:

Worf has decided that he wants to marry Jadzia. After getting advice from Will Riker, he is about to pop the question.



Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Worfie has been acting very furtive in the last couple of days.

All of a sudden he decides that the two of us will have dinner in our quarters tonight, and asks me to dress up formally.

He's also asked Alexander to go and see the film Robin Hod, a film about a bricklayer who steals bricks from the rich and hives to the poor twice over.



"What's going on, Worfie?" I ask, "I can always tell when you're up to something, as you usually say something like 'I'll tell you later'".

"I'll tell you later." he quickly replies, "Just be ready at 20:00 in a beautiful dress."

He vanishes out, and I go to look in my dress cupboard.

--------------

A few hours later, I return to my quarters. Soft music is playing in the background. Well, sort of soft. It happens to be Klingon festive music that is usually played at celrbratory times. In the background, warriors occasionally cheer.

Worf enters, carrying a huge bunch of flowers. Now Worfie and flowers are not two things I thought I'd ever say in the same sentence.

We sit and eat quietly. Worfie looks at me carefully, then stands up suddenly just as I'm having my bowl of gagh, which are live Klingon serpent worms. The shock of his movement nearly makes me choke on a serpent.

"This cannot go on any longer!" he exclaims, "I must say what I have to say."

"What is it, Worfie?" I say, although I have an inkling of what is going on.

"Jadzia Dax." he tells me, holding a box, opening it and showing a beautiful ring, "I wish you to become my official mate....I mean bride. Will you do me the honour?

I get up, smile, and kiss him.



"I thought you'd never ask, Worfie." I tell him, "I'm looking forward to the wedding."

Worf's Proposal (Part One)

Guest Poster: Worf

As Jadzia, and my son Alexander have lived together in my quarters for quite a while now, something has occured to me that I need to do.

I should ask, and want to ask Jadzia to marry me.

This is extremely worrying. It's so easy in the Klingon Empire. A warrior goes up to his chosen woman and says "You will be my bride.", drags her away and that's the end of the matter. So easy and romantic.

However, Jadzia is a Trill, and I know would expect more than that, and might actually turn me down. The fact that she has been a symbiont in a male Trill body is a little bewildering, but as I am convinced that Jadzia is all woman, I have chosen her.

I have considered asking the advice of others. Normally, I member would go to see the Counselor Deanna Troi about such a matter, but it could be rather delicate, as Deanna and I were lovers before I met Jadzia. There were a few ugly fights between the women before the matter was resolved. I would hate that to start up again.

Commander Riker walks down the corridor.



"Commander." I say, "There is a delicate matter with which I want to discuss with you."

Riker looks alarmed.

"Perhaps you ought to see Deanna." he answers, "Or if it's a medical matter, Doctor Crusher."

"It's not like that." I tell him irritatingly, "The fact is I have decided to ask Jadzia to marry me, and I wish to know the best way of going about it."

Riker smiles mischievously.

"You sly devil, Worf!" he replies with a laugh, "Well I can tell you this, all women love romance, so give Jadzia an extra helping of it. Flowers, romantic dinner, soft music, down on the knee, show the ring and proposal."

"But I am a Klingon warrior!" I protest.

"Well if you want Jadzia." Riker answers, "You'll have to do it."

"Very well." I say, "Thank you for your advice, Commander."

I walk away thinking. First stop, the Enterprise Florist, then to choose the soft music...

To be continued...

TWQ: Stress Factors

TWQ (the Weekend Question) returns this week to ask about what stresses you out.

What sort of issues will really make you stressed out? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* A heavy workload at the office, when the deadline is impossible to reach.

* When gadgets at home cease to function and have no idea how to repair them.

* Stuck in a traffic queue when an important deadline is approaching.

Now it's over to you...

Guilty Conscience

I haven't been able to sleep.

Bev tells me to stop moving about, as it's disturbing her night as well.



"Jean-Luc." she says in irritation, and digs me in the ribs, "Do you want me to give you a sleeping pill? Both of us are going to look pretty tired in the morning.

I feel uneasy. In truth, I haven't slept well since my encounter with the Borg Queen when Bev and I visited a beach planet. While she was sleeping, Queenie and I met, and she said that she and I had been lovers during the time I was assimilated and turned into Locutus. I don't remember any of my time when that happened,

As I didn't want Bev or anyone to find out, Queenie agreed to keep quiet in return for a kiss. To be honest, it was rather a pleasant experience anyway!

After thinking long and hard, and taking in the possible consequences, I decide to tell Bev.

She listens calmly, while I try to read the reaction in her face. I'm not sure if she is shocked or not, and if the next movement is a giant slap on my face. I brace myself for the hurricane force anger that is about to come.

Bev bursts out laughing.



"Is that it, Jean-Luc." she says, "I thought it was something serious."

"Well I would call a love affair with the Borg Queen fairly serious, Beverly." I reply.

"Of course, it would be if you hadn't been assimilated and turned into a drone." Bev comments, "There are some things I never told you when we first rescued you from the Cube at the time."

I look puzzled.

"You were strapped down while I was trying to analyse how to turn you back into a human." she explains, "All the time you were droning on...no pun intended."

"What was I saying." I ask.

"You kept saying how you were the Borg Queen's lover and wanted to go back to her." Bev tells me, "Naturally, when we healed you, I analysed you and took your recent memories of your experience out."

"You used short term memory loss?"

"Of course." she smiles, "I thought you would be better off being none the wiser. Trust Queenie to remind you of the incident, now!"

"What do we do now?" I ask, "Can you remove the memory again?"

"I could, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me, "But this time I think we'll keep it in. If Queenie starts threatening to reveal your secret to me, we can just say that I already know!"

"It sounds a good idea, " I conclude.

"Be careful with Queenie." Bev warns me, "Queenie may well be a Borg, but she's also a woman...of sorts. She likes you a lot, and I believe that's how we've managed to get this Borg truce. We don't want it to break up."

"I know what you mean." I say, "Queenie may well pursue me more. I've got to be careful she doesn't catch me!"

"Exactly!" Bev laughs, "Still, Jean-Luc, you've caught me, so let's enjoy it!"

With that, I conclude the writing.