Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol
As I have just been promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Commander, I am currently being trained into the role by Data.
Talk about boredom! It's like listening to a recording that never stops! I wish I knew where that 'Off' button was he had.
"The next thing you should remember, T'Pol." Data drones on, "Is that when you are in command on the Bridge..."
"Give it a rest, Data!" I exclaim, "I might just have been promoted here, but two centuries ago I had that role in the mirror universe."
"The two hardly compare." answers Data, somewhat irritated, "In the mirror universe, Commanders frequently put offenders in the airlock or in the pain booth. I recall that you mentioned some time ago that Phlox put someone in because a crewman was late for his shift. Do you think your friend Britney would have survived in the mirror universe with her high level of insubordination?"
Rats. He has a point.
"I guess not." I glumly reply.
"In that case." he continues, "Learn the duties of a Lieutenant Commander in this universe, and forget about how things were back then."
I go back to filing my fingernails while Data's words go in one ear and out of the other. We are in a holodeck simulation of the Bridge.
"Now then, Lieutenant Commander T'Pol." Data instructs me, "You will sit in the Captain's chair and observe this scenario."
I get into position, having put my nailfile away.
"There is a colony that desperately needs our help from an invading enemy, yet we have to cross the borders of a offensive area where we are banned from travelling to get there quickly. What do we do?"
This is a tough one. Perhaps I shouldn't have been using my nailfile?
"Errm...tell the hostile race we are on a mercy mission?" I suggest.
"That is a possible solution." Data comments, "But what if they refuse?"
Drat. Drat. He's making it tough.
"In that case, we'll go anyway." I continue.
"We could be risking a diplomatic incident and a war by doing so....." Data reminds me.
"We have no choice." I say, "The lives of the colony members are more important. We can solve any diplomatic wrangles later on."
"Well done, Lieutenant Commander T'Pol." Data tells me, and shakes me hand, "You have successfully completed the training. You answer was correct."
Phew! A lucky guess there. I hope I don't get too many situations like that. In the future, something nasty will come up.