Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Rebranding The Q Continuum (Part Two)
Guest Poster: Q
Has the Head Q lost his mind?
Our leader has told the Continiuum that he has been listening to focus groups and all those types who have suggested that we need to update our image to appeal to younger people. As a result, we have been renamed the Jive Continuum, our leader is the Head Jiver, and we are supposed to called each other 'Jive' from now on.
What a farce!
"Our leader has been under the influence of those focus groups too much." my girlfriend Q tells me, as a group of us meet after the announcement, "We have been Qs since the year dot."
"That's true." says another, "I positively refuse to tell anyone my name is Jive. Instead of being powerful beings, we shall be seen as laughing stocks."
"Especially by Jean-Luc and Kathryn." I point out, "One of the great pleasures I have is needling those two whenever I visit. Imagine their reaction when I tell them what my new name is?"
"What can we do, sweetie?" says my girl to me, "It looks like it's too late to do anything. The Jive Continuum has been created."
"It can be un-created as well." I reply, "The Head Q might well change his mind if the right directive comes along."
Everybody laughs. They know how my mind works.
Later on, while the Head Q's secretary is on her lunch break, I sneak in and add an official directive, forged by me, but appearing to come from the focus group. It states that the instruction MUST be carried out.
"That'll shake him!" I think to myself.
A few hours later, there is another Emergency Meeting called by the Head Q. We all go to hear it.
"I have had a change of mind." declares the Head Q, "The Q Continuum will be continued to be called that, and things will be as they were before. I have fired those in the focus groups, as I believe their information was innaccurate."
He walks off and my girlfriend smiles at me.
"That's amazing!" she says, laughing, "What did you do, darling?"
"Oh, it's very easy." I said slyly, "That forged document from the focus groups said the Head Q should resign and make way for a person that appealed to the younger Q-wannabees."
"I'm sure he'd love to do that!" she concurs.
Now I can hold my head up high and pester Jean-Luc without calling myself Jive!
Look out for the next post, which will be the 900th of this Journal.