"Incoming call from Wondawowman, Captain." Worf informs me as we sit on the Bridge.
This wakes me a little, as I was in a semi-doze state. After all, then the Enterprise is travelling through space, things can tend to look a little monotonous after a while and send anyone into a sleepy slate.
"I'll take it in my Ready Room, Mr Worf." I inform him, and go there.
I switch on the viwer there, and Queen Diana, leadfer of the Amazon race, comes on. When she sees me, she looks somewhat disappointed.
"Greetings, your majesty." I say in my best grovelly voice, "I hope you are..."
"Oh, it's you." she says flatly, "I was hoping to speak to a female in authority, preferably Karena's mother in law Beverly, or if she is not around, I will settle for Deanna Troi."
Though irked at this, I do my best not to show it.
"They are both away, Queen Diana." I say, "As I am the Captain, can you tell me what you wish to discuss?"
"Oh very well, please convey the message to Beverly." shew says, as if I am an errand boy, "We on Wondawowman are sorting out the preparations for the Christmas Party to be held here that will accommodate the Enterprise and my daughter and Wes' ship, the Rhode Island."
"That's excellent." I reply, "Are there any details you are not sure of which I can help you with?"
The Queen looks amazed.
"Of course not, Captain." she tells me, "You are just a man and have no idea on this sort of thing. The women on your ship, together with the amazons on our planet will make sure it all runs efficiently. Just don't get in the way."
"Perhaps if the seating were man, woman, man wonan, it will be a good way of breaking the ice for people who don't usually have a chance to talk?" I venture to suggest.
"That is out of the question, Captain." she replies haughtily, the women will all sit together, while the men will be placed at the back. Occasionally an amazon will bring them some food over if she is not busy and the women have all had theirs."
"But...your majesty." I try to say.
"We are rumnning the party, Captain." she tells me, "Therefore it will be done the way we want to. Please forward the message to Beverly Crusher. Goodbye."
The screen blips off. I walk back on to the Bridge.
"Anything wrong, sir? asks Data.
"No, Mr Data." I tell him, "I think I've just been demoted to Errand Boy status."
How did the party get given to the amazons? It sounds like it will be a heap of fun this year!