Thursday, February 22, 2007

Stardates

I've called the senior staff together in my conference room to discuss the latest directive that I've had from Starfleet.

"I'll read this out to you all." I tell them, "It says: All Starfleet Staff must use stardates when referring to times. It is not the policy of the Federation to use Earth-type dates."

"How can we do that, Captain?" protests Geordi, "It is far too complicated to learn."

"I agree." says Deanna, "I much prefer to say something like 'next Tuesday' rather than quote a lot a numbers that I struggle to understand."

"What about you, Data?" I ask.

"Naturally, I am programmed with a full understanding of how it works." he tells us, "But it may be confusing for people like yourself to understand it."

Was I just insulted then?

"How about you, Captain?" Riker says to me, "I would have thought as Captain, you might know that."

"Sadly, Number One" I reply, "I came bottom in the Stardates test at the Academy, and with little knowledge of it, I just managed to make it as Captain."

Everybody starts talking at once, and it seems that with the exception of Data, none of us are very good at interpreting stardates.

"What about Captain Kirk?" Beverly asks me, "He always used to know the stardates from what I've heard about his missions."

"That is not quite true, Doctor." Data tells her, "His estimantions were always wrong, and it appears he just picked a few numbers to say at random, and his crew assumed he knew all about stardates."

"Stardates are irrelevant!" snaps Seven, "When you are all assimilated, you will have no need to concern yourselves whether to think in Earth or stardate time. You will act as drones."

Trust Seven Of Nine to put a damper on everything. Worf looks ready to say something.

"Why should we go by these times." he tells us, "Klingons neither accept stardates nor earthtimes. We go by the times on the Klingon homeworld."

This meeting seems to be falling apart.

"Please remember everybody," I try to say to them, "We are here to see if we can learn stardates. We can always use earthtime on the ship, but use stardates when dignitaries are around."

Everybody seems happy at this, and I ask Data to explain it to us.

-----

After a while, we each have a huge headache, as Data tries for the fifth time to explain:

On April 6, 2377, Stardate 54868.6 would be 0.8686 of the way to the end of Stardate year 54000. If Stardates represent thousandths of a year, and an average Earth year comprises about 365.2422 mean solar days, then April 6, 2377, is 317.249375 days into Stardate year 54000. (0.8686 x 365.2422 days = 317.249375 days)

Therefore, Stardate 55000.0 takes place 47.992825 days after April 6, 2377. (55000.0 - 54868.6 = 00131.4 Stardates = 0.1314 year = 47.992825 days)

So, with some simple arithmetic, one can see that Stardate 55000.0 falls on May 24, 2377, making May 24 or May 25 the Stardate New Year on Earth (depending on leap years on the Earth calendar).

"So, for example, today is Stardate 46751.19" Data continues to tell us.

Gradually, one by one, people shake their heads, and I ask Data to stop.

"It is really easy, Captain." he tells me, "If you just let...."

"No, Data." I tell him, then inform the staff, "I think we'll adopt the Captain Kirk method. Making up random numbers is a far simpler way."

Everybody agrees; earth time is much better!

26 comments:

Linda said...

I think. Perhaps. Captain Kirk. Had the. Right. Idea.

Ellee said...

There are still lots of numbers which always make me scared, hope Carol Vorderman is on board.

The Curmudgeon said...

Oh Linda. Very. Good.

(I think written Shatner impressions are great.)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Stardates are way too confusing

Ciera said...

I agree --- making up random numbers is SO much easier than doing the math for Stardates [that's what the original authors did after all!}

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I thought Kirk always read the Stardate off his terminal when he was making log entries.

Maybe you could get some sort of device that straps to your wrist or fits in your pocket that tells you stardates.

Maybe not for the pocket, you don't have those in the future, do you?

SQT said...

I agree with the Curmudgeon; Linda's reply made me laugh out loud.

Titania Starlight said...

Random chaos for Stardates is the best. I just hate numbers period. I prefer words. Yes, words are much better than numbers. :o)~

Meow said...

Just dropping by to say hi.
Great post ....
Have a wonderful weekend.
Take care, Meow

Minerva said...

Just wanted you to know that I am writing this in Stardate 9.6756.

Minerva

Michael Manning said...

A Fun Post! I enjoyed it. Have a nice weekend!!

Lahdeedah said...

I have to know, did you actually do the math?

I sure as heck didn't...

and um, Linda is setting a dangerous precedent.

Soon. We will aahhll. Have to speak. Like. Kirk. Dramatic. Pause. It was. What. Made. Him. Dramatic. Pause.

Bernard said...

Capt, Stardate for today is -316,748.1... or shall we call it 316,748.1 before XX, (whatever XX stands for)

Has anyone addressed the Stardate zero bug yet?

p.s. Really entertaining blog, capt. I'm putting a comlink to here. Do I have the capt's permission :-)

WindWhisperer said...

Captain Kirk's log was the most engaging of diaries...don't you think Captian Picard? The similarities between you two go beyond mere numbers...

Gyrobo said...

Tell Data to recheck his math! The formula he used fails completely during Daylight Savings time!

UngaMan said...

I always wanted to know how to calculate those stardates and found many ways on the net...

At Starbase118 we use to 337 years to the current date:

2007 + 377 = 2384

To this we add the month and the day as follow:

Month: 02
Day: 22

Stardate: 238402.22

That help us to keep records of our SIMmings...

Hey! don't look at me! I already found that when I arrived to the base

:: shudders ::

Dave said...

Methinks you have too much time on your hands.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Linda, top marks on your Kirk impression!

Ellee, it might be a good idea; she could remind us of the time.

Minerva, is that a fact, or were you using the Kirk Method?

Bernard, you have my permission!

Ungaman, we can't go around calculating like that!

Ellee said...

I would like to wish you and your crew a wonderful weekend in the galaxy - wish I was joining you.

exskindiver said...

Man, how i wish i could jump in.
is the fact that english is my second language a good enough excuse to not be able to?
bad at klingon math (actually any math, who am i kidding?)
or that captain kirk has a restraining order against me?

whatevuh...
Nanu-nanu,
(ooops, just gave away my age...)

Greetings and Salutations to Jean-Luc and his posse-

I've come in peace.

The exskindiver

mrsmogul said...

Is Stardates related to Stars in Your Eyes?

Paperback Writer said...

Uh....I have no idea what just happened...:)

Miss Cellania said...

Oh, thats priceless! Kirk just made up random numbers to impress everyone. Hooda Thunket.

Mr. Althouse said...

All I know is that it's my moms birthday, it's late and I'm tired. Tell Data to crunch those numbers.

Michele sent me,

Mike

deemacgee said...

Stardates aren't based on Terran years? I thought each whole number increment of a stardate was about eight hours...

Seems to fit, given each season of TNG, DS9 and VOY tend to increase the first two digits of the stardate by 1, and references to events from seasons past are usually described in terms of "years" ago...

*shrug*

Anonymous said...

豆豆聊天室 aio交友愛情館 2008真情寫真 2009真情寫真 aa片免費看 捷克論壇 微風論壇 大眾論壇 plus論壇 080視訊聊天室 情色視訊交友90739 美女交友-成人聊天室 色情小說 做愛成人圖片區 豆豆色情聊天室 080豆豆聊天室 小辣妹影音交友網 台中情人聊天室 桃園星願聊天室 高雄網友聊天室 新中台灣聊天室 中部網友聊天室 嘉義之光聊天室 基隆海岸聊天室 中壢網友聊天室 南台灣聊天室 南部聊坊聊天室 台南不夜城聊天室 南部網友聊天室 屏東網友聊天室 台南網友聊天室 屏東聊坊聊天室 雲林網友聊天室 大學生BBS聊天室 網路學院聊天室 屏東夜語聊天室 孤男寡女聊天室 一網情深聊天室 心靈饗宴聊天室 流星花園聊天室 食色男女色情聊天室 真愛宣言交友聊天室 情人皇朝聊天室 上班族成人聊天室 上班族f1影音視訊聊天室 哈雷視訊聊天室 080影音視訊聊天室 38不夜城聊天室 援交聊天室080 080哈啦聊天室 台北已婚聊天室 已婚廣場聊天室 夢幻家族聊天室 摸摸扣扣同學會聊天室 520情色聊天室 QQ成人交友聊天室 免費視訊網愛聊天室 愛情公寓免費聊天室 拉子性愛聊天室 柔情網友聊天室 哈啦影音交友網 哈啦影音視訊聊天室 櫻井莉亞三點全露寫真集 123上班族聊天室 尋夢園上班族聊天室 成人聊天室上班族 080上班族聊天室 6k聊天室 粉紅豆豆聊天室 080豆豆聊天網 新豆豆聊天室 080聊天室 免費音樂試聽 流行音樂試聽 免費aa片試看A片 免費a長片線上看 色情貼影片 免費a長片 本土成人貼圖站 大台灣情色網 台灣男人幫論壇 A圖網 嘟嘟成人電影網 火辣春夢貼圖網 情色貼圖俱樂部 台灣成人電影 絲襪美腿樂園 18美女貼圖區 柔情聊天網 707網愛聊天室聯盟 台北69色情貼圖區 38女孩情色網 台灣映像館 波波成人情色網站 美女成人貼圖區 無碼貼圖力量 色妹妹性愛貼圖區 日本女優貼圖網 日本美少女貼圖區 亞洲風暴情色貼圖網 哈啦聊天室 美少女自拍貼圖 辣妹成人情色網 台北女孩情色網 辣手貼圖情色網 AV無碼女優影片 男女情色寫真貼圖 a片天使俱樂部 萍水相逢遊戲區 平水相逢遊戲區 免費視訊交友90739 免費視訊聊天 辣妹視訊 - 影音聊天網 080視訊聊天室 日本美女肛交 美女工廠貼圖區 百分百貼圖區 亞洲成人電影情色網 台灣本土自拍貼圖網 麻辣貼圖情色網 好色客成人圖片貼圖區 711成人AV貼圖區 台灣美女貼圖區 筱萱成人論壇 咪咪情色貼圖區 momokoko同學會視訊 kk272視訊 情色文學小站 成人情色貼圖區 嘟嘟成人網 嘟嘟情人色網 - 貼圖區 免費色情a片下載 台灣情色論壇 成人影片分享 免費視訊聊天區 微風 成人 論壇 kiss文學區 taiwankiss文學區