What a blinding headache I've got!
After seven days of intensive partying, it's hardly surprising. I've just woken up and it feels like my head is in a giant bell that is ringing away. Actually, it's only the noise of the ship's engines working away.
I'd better go to the Bridge. Riker will probably won't be in good condition either. The last time I saw him, he was being helped out of Ten Forward by Deanna, who herself had consumed too many bottles of Romulan Ale.
Before I go to the Bridge, I'd better stop off at Sick Bay and get something to help me with this hangover from Bev.
While staggering down the corridors, I see the crew all look dazed, holding on to the wall, collapsed on the floor, or walking like extras in a zombie movie.
As I near SickBay, I see a queue a mile long. Bev looks shattered as she tries to give them something to help. The holographic Doctor is helping, while looking disgusted at the same time.
I don't have time to wait in the queue, as I am told to "Wait your turn!" by others in the line.
At least Commander Data will be unaffected; it's good to know we can rely on him to keep the ship going when we allow certain failings to overcome us.
The Bridge door opens and I enter.
The Borg Queen. She is in the Captain's Chair, with Seven in Commander Riker's seat.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"Only doing you an enormous favour." replies the Queen, "As your crew is all completely incapable of piloting this vessel, due to the party drinks you had, the only beings capable of keeping it going were the Borg. Everything is running smoothly, Locutus."
"Where is Lieutenant Commander Data?" I ask her, "In times when we..er... are not able to look after the Enterprise, he should be in the Captain's Chair."
"That is true, Locutus." Seven answers, "But he met with an unfortunate accident. While carrying a drunken Jennifer Baxter home, she teasingly pulled out a circuit and threw it down the garbage chute. Your crew will locate it and repair him as soon as they are sober."
"When we get round to assimilating everybody in the future," comments the Borg Queen, "We shall have to make sure that this liking of alcohol is deleted. We can hardly have all the drones like this crew are, Seven. Let that be a lesson to us all."
"I agree, my Queen." replies Seven, "This is a human failing we must be certain not to have. It could destroy us all."
The Borg Queen stands up and lets me sit down; in the meantime, Riker stumbles in, his eves looking like they've been supported by matchsticks. Seven gets up and lets him fall on to the seat.
Both Borgs shake their heads and look pityingly.
"Why we have to assimilate humans is beyond me." the Borg Queen says to herself, then gets ready to beam out, "I'll take my leave of you now, Locutus. Thanks for having the Borg do the catering and provide the band."
"We didn't have any choice." I reply, "You would assimilate us if we didn't"
"Don't get caught in technicalities, Locutus." she smiles and waves my comment away. "I'm going back to Unimatrix 01. The Strolling Bones have acquired a lot of bookings as a result of this engagement, largely due to veiled threats. Seven will stay here and continue to send me reports of life here."
"Yes, my Queen." Seven obediantly answers before the Borg Queen vanishes.
"What now?" asks Riker.
"You can have the Bridge, Number One." I tell him, "I'm off to join a very long queue outside SickBay.