Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Six)

With the sixth day of the Party here, guests are telling what have happened to them...

Here's Jaime

I was invited this year by my good friend, Marinda Clark, to spend Christmas with her on the Enterprise. I haven’t been off-planet for some time now, and after her letter earlier this year telling me about the captain’s birthday party, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

I caught a freighter to Vulcan, where I beamed up to the Enterprise. Marinda was waiting for me in the Transporter Room, and whisked me off to my quarters, chatting merrily.

“How’s the tribble I sent you?” she asks. “Still holding up?”

I pulled a cooing ball of fur from my jacket with a smile. “She’s pregnant, and I didn’t want to leave her behind.” Marinda, however, gasps.

“Don’t let the Captain see that!” She looks around and quickly stuffs the animal back in my pocket. “He still hasn’t gotten over the last incident.”

I don’t think I want to ask.

“The party’s in a couple of hours, in Ten Forward,” she says.

“Isn’t that where the captain’s birthday party was held?” I inquire.

Marinda nods. “No worries, though, this time. Guinan’s going to stick around for the whole thing, just in case Q shows up. Of course, Data is the chef again, so you might want to stay away from anything green. Just in case.”

Now I know I don’t want to ask.

Marinda drops me off at my quarters, and I take the time to freshen up. She said it was going to be a quiet affair, and a bit on the formal side, so I pull out my black velvet dress and heels and get ready to go. Before I know it, my friend is back, and we’re on our way to Ten Forward.

It’s already packed by the time we get there, and Marinda hauls me around the room, introducing me to the senior staff and crew. There’s a jazz band in a corner playing the Klingon variation of “Jingle Bells” (“I never knew Worf could sing,” Marinda whispers), and most of the room consists of small groups of people talking amongst themselves. Data is behind the bar, overseeing the food and drinks. Thankfully, nothing looks green, and I fix myself a small plate of hors d'oeuvres. It’s not long before the captain steps up to the bar and taps on a glass.

Worf has just gotten to the verse about the satisfaction one derives from smearing an enemy’s entrails across the snows of Rura Penthe, and he doesn’t look very amused at the interruption.

“Everyone come and get a glass of egg nog!” the captain orders jovially. Once we have complied, he lifts his in the air. “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!” He drinks.

We repeat the toast and follow suit. The egg nog, I notice, has a rather sharp taste to it, but perhaps that’s because it’s replicated. Whatever the case, I take only a small sip, and notice that several people close to me are also giving their glasses strange looks.

The room suddenly starts to spin, and I fall into the nearest chair. Everyone around me seems to be having similar problems. My head feels like it’s about to explode. So does my stomach. Marinda, who downed her egg nog in one swallow, has passed out.

The captain has turned a rather frightful shade of green, and I hear him calling for medics and giving Data a look that could frost cupcakes. Data, however, seems preoccupied with reading the back label of a bottle of something purple.

I think I’m going to be sick. Something that looks like a cross between a praying mantis and a lobster plops down in the chair next to me, giggling. “Some party, huh? Michele sent me.”

I nod politely, and then wish I hadn’t.

“Oh, hey, look, it’s Mimi! Catch ya later!” And he/she/it bounces away. I head for the bar and order a glass of water.

“Did you not drink the egg nog?” Data asks, handing me the water.

“Only a bit,” I reply.

“That was probably wise,” he says. “When I found out I was in charge of the buffet, I sent away to Beta Eridani VII for a new beverage additive that claimed to enhance the consumers’ ‘fun’ quotient by 300%. I neglected, however, to read the ‘fine print.’ It seems that this additive was not meant for carbon-based life forms. Fortunately, the side effects wear off in 24-48 hours.”

Worf picks up where he left off, but has replaced the generic enemy in his song with Data. “I don’t think you’ll live that long.”

“There is nothing to be concerned about,” came a calm voice to my left. I turn to see an officer standing there in a standard uniform and elf hat. “I have already determined a solution.” He holds up a hypospray and then applies it to my arm. I immediately feel better.

“Was that Wesley?” I ask Data, who shakes his head.

“Even better,” he says. “Lt. Darvik.”

“Oh. Sounds like a handy guy to have around.” Which makes me wonder at the look the Captain gives him after he’s been hypo-ed. Oh, well.

I leave the Enterprise the following day. Marinda has made me promise to return when there aren’t any parties going on, but I think I’ll have to pass on that one. It’s not until I get home that I realize I accidentally left my tribble behind. Oops.

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Arriving from the Dark Side is Merlyn Gabriel

“You will go to this Christmas fest in my stead, represent the Empire and behave yourself!!! Do I make myself clear?” Lord Vader’s words still rang in my ears as I stepped off my shuttle onto the Enterprise.

I was greeted by an incredibly cheerful woman who introduced herself as Deanna Troi. I sensed something more about her and wondered if she too was Force sensitive. My suspicions were confirmed when she said.

“Don’t worry, you are not too late. I also sense that you are a little nervous but there is no need, I assure you. The Federation is a friendly thing not at all like your Empire.”

I bit my tongue from giving her a tart reply; after all she didn’t know the Empire as I did and followed her into the area where the party was being held. The room was very full and much to my surprise the general air of respectful fear that usually permeated the normal Imperial events was non existent. People seemed genuinely happy and relaxed.

“Welcome the Enterprise Christmas Party, Miss Gabriel. I am Commander Data it is very nice to meet you, the Captain has spoken of you often. Would you like something to drink?”

I turned to stare at the man asking and found I could not sense anything from him at all. It was a little odd. I had heard that there were beings outside of the Force but up until now I had never known this to be true.

“Anything that is not fizzy or has glow spice in it, thank you.” I answered.

He vanished for a moment, returned with a very colourful looking drink and handed it to me with a smile. “A Jovian Sunspot.” He said. “Come, the Captain wishes to meet you and welcome you on board.”

Captain Picard was a little shorter than I had imagined him to be but then again after working so closely with Lord Vader, everyone seems a little on the short side to me. He radiated that aura of power all men in charge of ships seem to have but I did not get the feeling he was mean in any way. In fact the general sense I got was that his crew mostly adored him. He greeted me with a cordiality and a friendliness I found unnerving and made me wonder what it might be that he wanted from me. I have been working for the Empire far too long.

“Miss Gabriel, how lovely to see you, I hope your journey here was pleasant and uneventful?” He had a gorgeous voice and accent.

“Yes, thank you. This is a lovely ship you have here.” I commented.

“The Enterprise is the pride of the fleet.” He said proudly. I decided not to tell him that next to the Executor the Enterprise was a grain of sand in a desert. That would have been a bit rude and most Captains don’t take kindly to someone calling their ship small. Instead I just smiled and nodded. After all, despite its size, it was a very clean and pretty ship.

“Will you be having a Christmas party of your own?” he asked lightly.

“Uhm, no. The Emperor doesn’t like Christmas very much. He believes it encourages too much cheer and good will which doesn’t really suit how he likes to run the Empire. Also that whole red-white jump clothing thing doesn’t look good on him, he’s terribly allergic to the fake beard and hair and these odd decorations really clash with the décor of the Imperial palace. But he does throw a pretty good medal ceremony when the occasion comes up.”

“Ah, I see.” said Picard in that manner which said he didn’t really see at all but wasn’t going to argue the point.

I was about to make another comment on how nice and colourful everyone’s uniform was when someone called my name and I found myself enveloped in a pair of arms. The accent was very familiar to me.

“Florence?”

The pretty young woman in front of me nodded and grinned. “I hoped you’d be here, come on let me drag you away for a moment I have something to show you!”

The Captain gave us both another one of his very nice polite smiles and meandered off to chat up some redheaded woman who had been giving me the evil eye.

“Oh I see Commander Data gave you a Jovian Sunspot.” She said, eyeing my drink. “He sure makes a mean drink, don’t you think?”

“Well…it’s very sweet but good in a get the girls giddy quickly sort of way.” I said.

She grins and dragged me over to a quiet corner and we sat down. “I wanted to show you this…my latest line of toys.” She said and from a small satchel pulled out a little finger puppet type figure made of something soft and cuddly which looked a lot like Darth Vader, but with angel wings.

“It’s his good side.” She says with a grin. “I know you always write to me about how evil and angry he is all the time but maybe this will appeal to his inner angel and some of the darkness will seep away. I know there is good in him, there is good in everyone!” she said.

I was speechless. The little toy was beautiful and perfect and I knew she was right. Lord Vader did have some good in him somewhere… I took the tiny toy from her hands and gave her a huge hug. It wasn’t often anyone ever actually gave me anything.

“I brought you something too.” I said and took out of my pocket a small polished piece of stone. “I asked Admiral Thrawn to find it for me and I hoped you would be here so I could give it to you. It’s a tiny bit of ma’arilite.”

She carefully took the stone from my fingers and turned it this way and then that to find the hidden fire that the stone always had. I knew when she had seen it because she grinned and then hugged me.

“Oh this is so beautiful thank you so much. What did you bring the Captain?” she asked.

“A self made Christmas card.” I said. She didn’t get the significance behind that but I knew the Captain would.

“Oh listen their playing music let’s go join in and dance!” she says pulling me by the hand into the happy crowd. It occurred to me that maybe this Christmas thing wasn’t so bad after all and perhaps I should talk Lord Vader into having a little party on board the Executor. It was something to think about. For the rest of the time I ate incredibly tasty food, met all sorts of amazing people and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

This was one time I was very happy to go to an event in Lord Vader’s stead.

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This view of events is from Sim

Nervously, I made my way into to the transporter pads. It was my first time off Earth and I was to meet the crew of the Enterprise for the first time. I had read reports and seen footage of all of these people, and now, for the first time, I was to meet them in the flesh, making me break into a slight cold sweat as I clutched onto my presents of homemade sloe gin, stilton and synthetic port.

Beaming onto the Enterprise caused no problems - bar the stripping of the blue from the cheese. "Sorry ma'am!" The security man behind the console looked at me in sympathy. "Orders ma'am - your gift contained a bacteria that our transport filters wouldn't allow through."

So carrying my glorified cheddar and grumbling under my breath about the lack of taste that the ship had, I made my way into Ten Forward. The Strolling Bones were in full swing, the people there were looking respendant in their garb and all of a sudden I realised that I didn't actually know a soul there. I recognised the Captain looking handsome with a gorgeous redhead hanging off his arm (whom I later dicovered to be Dr Beverly Crusher), and so, with a quick check in the black consoles that my burgandy dress was straight and not tucked into my retro knickers that went with the replica Armani that I had made, I made my way over to introduce myself. And promptly tripping on my replicated heels, snapping the right heel off and landing on the Captain, who promply caught a (bustful) eyeful.

"I do apologise - I was going for an old 20th century look and didn't practice in the heels enough. Cheese??" Dr Crusher glared at me, but then double glared at the Captain for where his eyes were remaining as I proffered the cheese as a peace offering. "I'm so sorry about that - but thankfully, the port and gin survived. I made the gin myself - an old recipe adding extrasugar and berries."

"Well that's good" said Beverley as she proffered her arm to myself "there's nothing like getting to know someone over a drink. Home made you say - marvellous. We must feed some to Seven - I heard she's a blast when she's had a drink." Then she looked over her shoulder "Jean-Luc - you may have the cheese. It's chilled and may help your eyes to rest a bit. They look a bit strained..."

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Coming into Ten Foward now is Ana Ishikawa, known as Shi



"DO I have to wear the Monkey suit?" Logan complained… "Yes, the Christmas Party is a fancy one I am sure.." I smiled…

Laura and him weren't talking I believe it had something to do with Vampirella's son Hotstuff…

We arrived a bit late because he kept making her change…

The Captain introduced us to a few guests… "This is Miss Ana Ishikawa, she owns a Gallery and this is Logan.. he…"

SNIKT! "I am the best at what I do" He grinned taking out a cigar…

I was expecting some of the guest to be frightened of Logan but they weren't…. "They are used to Lt. Worf…" Beverly whispered…

While Logan hit the bar for some Vulcan beer… or was it Andorian Ale…. Well for something to drink Dr Crusher was nice enough to introduce me to a few Federation Art entrepreneurs… We were discussing some of things at my Gallery and my helping the Beijing Government restore the terra Cotta soldiers when I was approached by Ferengis, a lot of them….

After haggling hours with these cretins a tall Starfleet Admiral; came over and asked me to dance… He was charming and a lifesaver…

"You looked like you could use a little saving… " He smiled and his blue eyes sparkled…

Just then I heard a growl…. "Take a hike pal!" Logan growled as he shoved the Admiral away…

I held up my hand "Now boys let's not fight. "

"We in Starfleet, ma 'am are more dignified…" the Admiral smiled

"In other words you are hand pecked losers," Logan provoked…

"What I was going to say is that we don't start fights but we do finish them… " the Starfleet Admiral stood…

I then heard a friendly voice… "Oh my, if the testosterone isn't overwhelming over here… "

The Admiral bowed, "Ambassador Troi…"

She stole the Admiral away while I danced with Logan… "You are drunk?" I laughed…

"I am not I have just been drinking egg nog. Besides with my healing factor it burns any effects of alcohol out of me." He argued…

"So you say." I teased…

At the moment I was just glad he hadn't asked the Klingon Lt. for a fight… Or that Laura had sneaked out to be with the boy….

---------------------------------

The last guest for Day Six is Paige

Narrated by the BIG TV VOICE DUDE

Red, come on honey lets go, the limo is waiting. Isn’t this just so exciting?

--THE LIMO DRIVER TOOK THEM TO AN EMPTY PARKING LOT BEHIND THE BIG STORE.

Oh look we’re here already. I’m so nervous I can hardly stand still, I almost feel like I could pee my underpants. Hey driver, wheres the thingy? You know the trans-what-ya-ma-call-it.

Yes m’am, step this way. Please don’t touch that m’am. We wouldn’t want you two to end up some place other than the party, now would we?

Oh no, can’t have that. Red quit touching it.

I didn’t touch it, you did Paige. Cut it out and quit jumping and bopping around. We are only going to time travel.

Yeah, but it's my first time.

--PAIGE TURNS HER BACK TO RED AND GENTLY TWISTS THE ORANGE KNOB ON THE TRANSPORTER CONTROL PANEL. {I wonder what this does.}

M’am, please don’t!

I didn’t touch any thing. I was just looking. It is all so pretty and shinny.

M’ am, please step onto the white circle located ahead. Sir, if you would please, the one to the left. Keep your arms and legs close to you bodies. Try to relax and before you know it…

--THE DRIVER’S VOICE TRAILED OFF AS A BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT SPARKED AND OFF THEY WENT. AS SOON AS THEY ARRIVED ON BOARD THE ENTERPRISE, PAIGE AND RED COULD HEAR A COMMOTION…

What the hello… Private Halynn, get over here. What is going on? Check the gauges and get this fixed before some thing else happens. {great now I have to file an incidence report to the Captian}

M’am, Sir, please let me help you. I’m so sorry. There must have been a slight error in the transporter beam. Private Johven, get these nice humans to the sick bay. AT ONCE!

--A FEW MOMENTS LATTER PAIGE AND RED FOUND THEMSELVES IN SICK BAY. PAIGE LOOKED AROUND AND CAUGHT HER BREATH AS SHE AND RED MEET EYE TO EYE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE ARRIVING.

Paige, what, what is it, why do you have that, that weird looking smile on your face.

Oh my God Red, you look so, so, a hum, so funny. How did you ever get your big ol’ feet into my pretty little gold shoes and why did you put your feet in them?

Paige this is not funny. They are killing me.

Red please! Stop trying to pull them off like that. You might break the heel or something!

Break the heel, heck they’re breaking my toes. Quit laughing will ya! This is probably all your fault any way. I seen you fiddling with those knobs and stuff.

Never mind that now honey. Don’t mess up my new shoes. Oh my, it gets better, I mean worse then the shoes my love, you should... I mean you’ll never believe. Ok, ok, I’m not gonna laugh anymore. I’m sorry honey here look in my mirror.

Ah crap. Paige, help get these stupid ear rings out of my ears.

One moment sir said a smooth soothing voice from behind the opaque screen. Red turned his head and Paige jerked hers to see who that was.

Red saw the flash of a green eyed monster so he pulled Paige close and whispered in her ear.

Honey, don’t’ say things like that. Remember the last time. We were kicked out of the Big Store. Don’t get us kicked out of here, not when we haven’t even gotten to the party yet.

--A FIGURE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN STEPPED OUT FROM BEHIND THE SCREEN. PAIGE LET OUT A TINY YELP AS SHE HELD TIGHTER ONTO RED’S STRONG ARM. RED JUST SMILED.

Hi, I’m Dr. McCoy. Well now it looks like some one turned the orange knob a little too far to the right. Just one more minute, and I’ll have you fixed right up sir.

--THE TWO OF THEM WERE STUNNED AS THEY WATCHED THE DOCTOR DO HER WORK.

There you go. Fit as a fiddle as one of my predecessors would say.

Wow you look exactly like Bones. Its kinda scary. I mean you are not scary. No not at all its just that, well I wasn’t expecting. I, I, oh never mind.

Ms. Paige, it is alright. I know I appear very similar in my face to the one that was called Bones. I was given some of his g-nome in my artificial genetic sequence. It has been I believe you humans refer to it as, being the butt of a joke. I do not understand the emotional human conditions so it is of no effect for me. There now. Mr. Red, are you feeling better?

Yes, thank you Doctor. You mean my shoes were still on my feet while Paige’s shoes were wrapped around them?

That is affirmative. I was able to restore your ear lobes to their original condition. Do they meet with your satisfaction?

Yes, again thank you.

There ya see Red, alls well that, well that went wrong. Doctor do you think we can join the party now? Too bad you couldn’t get my shoes back to normal.

I am sorry Ms. But if you like I have some very similar. I’ll call…

--JUST THEN THE DOOR OPENED

Ah, I see our wonderful doctor has taken care of your needs. Well done doctor.

Welcome Paige, Red, very good of you to join us. Nice to meet you two at last. I apologize for the error in the transport. Let me assure you it shall not happen again. Please come with me and I shall show you to the party.

Thank you Captain, we are thrilled to be here. Its no problem. I’m sure Red will be fine. I confess I’m a little nervous about being here and meeting so many different types of, I mean kinds of…

I believe the word you are searching for Paige, is beings.

Yes, that’s it, so many different types of beings. Its all so exciting you know!

--THE ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS AND THEY STEP OUT INTO THE ROOM

Oh wow. This is great, absolutely beautiful Captain Picard. I am overwhelmed by its beauty. Look Red, see that, a real star on top of the.., tree? Is that a tree, Captain?

No, we don’t destroy living plants if it can be at all avoided. It is a hologram of a rare tree of the Rayatonic galaxy. It is most prized for its lovely aroma and bright colors that change with the mood of the environment surrounding it. You shall see as the mood and energy of the party progresses. This way to the bar if you like.

--PAIGE’S MOUTH GAPS OPEN FROM ALL THE STRANGE AND UNIQUE BEINGS SHE SEES AS SHE LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM. RED IS TRYING NOT TO LOOK TOO SURPRISED.

Guinan, please take care of Paige and her beloved Red. I have some other guests I simply must attend to. Paige, Red please excuse me. Feel free to mingle and to enjoy the party.

Thank you Captain.

--PAIGE SMILES AS THE CAPTAIN TAKES HER HAND AND PLACES A GENTLE KISS ON IT. RED IS NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT, BUT HOLDS OUT HIS HAND TO SHAKE THE CAPTAIN’S WITH A VERY FIRM GRIP.

Oh, Red did you have to squeeze his hand so tight? The Captain has impeccable manners and I’m sure it was not a sexual gesture on his part. Come on lets get a drink.

Excuse me?

Yes, can I get anything special for you?

Well, someone that was here last year, Jen, said you made her a wonderful drink. She didn’t remember the name, but I was hoping you would.

Yes, I remember.

You do? Incredible! Red did you heart that? She actually remembers the drink. Wow this is just so, so amazing.

Are you sure you want one of those?

--PAIGE NODS HER AGREEMENT

Ok then, but let me caution you to not drink it too fast as it can really go straight to your head if you are not careful.

Ok I understand thanks, Guinan. Come on honey, lets look around.

Red, Did I tell you Jen also told me not to wait too long before going to the restroom. She said they are very confusing and that I wouldn’t want to offend any other being by being stupid about it. Did you hear that? What I said was funny, any being by being. That’s so funny. Do you see any other humans here yet? I haven’t. Man, I hope we are not the only, {hiccup} ones. Look at that thing. Do you see it? What do you think it is, I mean where did it come from? {ickup}

Paige, you really should slow down on that drink, remember what Guinan said.

Yea, yea, I know. You don’t think anyone {ickup} notices that I don’t have on any shoes do you? That was so terrible, what happened to them and all. Haawhaw haw {ickup} Do your feet still hurt? Ah my poor baby. Oh look there. There is a human, or is that more then one. {hiccup} Hey what’s in this thang. Red why you lookin at me that way? Come on lets go over and, and you know {hiccup} introduce our selves to us. {hicup}

Paige, don’t you mean introduce ourselves to THEM?

Oh what a great idea honey, come on. Hi, I’m Paige {hiup}, sorry, and this is….

--RED CATCHES THE GLASS, AS IT SLIPS OUT OF PAIGE’S HAND JUST AS SHE STARTS TO SLIDE DOWN TO MEET THE FLOOR.

Oops, sorry about that folks. I better get the little woman home. I think the altitude and what ever it was she was drinking has gotten the better of her. Do me a favor if you would.

--THE OTHER GUESTS NOD THEIR ACCEPTANCE OF THE REQUEST

Please tell the Captain, we had to leave, but had a wonderful time. Thanks..

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Tomorrow is the last Day of the Party. Be around for that!