Sunday, November 06, 2005

Mind Swap (Part One)

I've woken up this morning in a strange place.

The room is much smaller, and everything looks eather primative, although I have noticed that I'm still on a starship.

I feel my head; I have hair! That hasn't happened for a long time.

When I look over at the mirror, I don't see Picard, but somebody else.

Captain James T Kirk.

For some reason, I'm on the Enterprise of the 23rd Century. This tells me that today could be rather a problem.

A young lady walks in to my quarters. She has long blonde hair, an old-style Starfleet uniform that consisted of mini-skirts and red tops for all women.

"Who are you?" I inquire.

"So it's true." she tells me, "You DO always forget your women once you have been with them. I happen to be Yeoman Cressida, your love interest for this week. I started on the Enterprise two days ago and within ten minutes you were charming me. You said at the time to yourself that you were getting slow at chatting them up."

Perhaps the crew can help me out and somehow get me sent forward again to the 24th Century. Mr Spock was always the clever one in this crew.

I head for the Bridge. The crew is dressed in ridiculously cheap looking uniforms. One would think Starfleet were on a budget then.

At the Bridge, I see Uhura on Communications, Mr Chekov & Mr Sulu on Navigation.

Mr Scott, the Chief Engineer is also there.

"I cannae see hae we gonna get tae Starbase 3, Cap'n." he says weirdly, "The Dilithium Crystals are faillin us!"

The Universal Translator must be a little faulty on this ship.

Mr Spock is on the opposite side in his cheap-looking blue uniform, pressing buttons that look as if they have been glued on ; how did they ever get this Enterprise to fly is beyond me. It looks positively unsafe.

"Um, Mr Spock, I need to have a private word with you about a difficulty."

We go into Kirk's Ready Room.

"Is it concerning Mr Sulu, and that 'matter' that Starfleet have kept supressed?"

"No, Mr Spock. What if I told you that I am not Captain Kirk?"

"Fascinating" he quietly speaks, "Then who do you think you are?"

"I think I am.....no, I mean I am a Captain of the Enterprise of the 24th Century, and my mind is in the body of Captain Kirk."

"Fascinating."

Why does he KEEP saying that word!

"Could you not do that good old standby, the Vulcan Mind Meld to know what I am saying?"

"Very well, Captain."

He does the Mind Meld.

"Fascinating." he says yet again, "You seem to be Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterprise D in the 24th Century. Why are you here?"

"I don't know, Spock; I was hoping you could help me! Maybe Doctor McCoy might know something."

"That is illogical, Captain. The Doctor is somewhat limited in his knowledge of medical, let alone scientific matters."

"You may be right, but I'm getting a headache from all this; let's go and see him."

We go to SickBay. The nurse there, who Spock says is Christine Chapel, looks rather familiar somehow, although I can't think why she should.

She gives a sly smile to Mr Spock.

Dr McCoy comes up to me.

"Hi Jim" he laughs, "What did you think of this week's love interest?"

He then turns to Spock.

"What do you want here, you pointy eared green blooded Vulcan? Just here to annoy me?"

"No, Doctor." Spock tells him, "The Captain has a problem."

He tells the story.

"I'm a doctor, not a time machine, Spock! The Captain is going to have to hope he reverts back."

My communicator starts signalling.

"We've got an emergency on the Bridge, Captain" says Mr Chekov urgently, "We need you up here."

I'd better try and sort it out.

I wonder how Captain Kirk is getting on in the 24th Century?

22 comments:

panthergirl said...

I don't know if you get The Soup on E!, but if you do...there's a hilarious piece on Mr. Sulu and his recent announcement. Hilarious.

Here by way of michele!

MarkD60 said...

"I'm a Doctor, not a time machine"
That cracked me up!
WHERE do you come up with this stuff??!?

Professor Xavier said...

I must say, my favorite adventures have always involved time travel. Using my amazing powers I am gazing into the future and I predict that you will lose your shirt soon and engage in some hand to chop combat.

Nic said...

Fabulous! I can't wait to see what Kirk thinks of the 24th century. Hope you get back there soon dear Captain or else he just might try and succeed in charming the pan-, er socks off of your Bev and she would, unfortunately, be none the wiser.

WendyWings said...

the REAL Wesley swung by and posted on my blog this week.

I still don't believe him I heard he swiped my dvd off a desk and said oh I have not seen this one either and then put it in his bag lol.

Last I heard Kirk was in hospital with kidney stones LOL

Captain Berk said...

Not very well thanks.

I miss the revealing uniforms of my officers, and I don't like having no hair.

Sort it out please!

I can't be bothered....

Master Yoda said...

At least now, handy in a fist-fight you can be.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Maybe you could talk a computer to death. That would be cool.

dddragon said...

So McCoy isn't a time machine OR a bricklayer!? What is he good for?

Try to have a good time, Captain!

Trinity13 said...

Oh no...a cliff hanger!!! What happened next Capt?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm having a definate identity crisis.

Lori said...

Poor Kirk....He don't have a clue!!

Don't touch that button Captain Kirk!!!

Have a great day!!!

Jana said...

Looking in that mirror must have been quite the shock. Now you know how my old friend Sam Beckett feels.

Ciera said...

I laughed so hard I got in trouble with the librarian on duty!!!! He didn't scold me too badly though.

Ha! this is good!!!

Jen said...

Oh my, that *is* a pickle!

I'm curious to see how this plays out...

Running2Ks said...

I was waiting for it....I'm a doctor, not a time machine, Spock....and you said it.

I bet Kirk is with Troi right now, and having Beverly for breakfast.

M. C. Pearson said...

Fascinating! Oh man, you are so funny...great idea, great words...you've done it again. I can't wait to find out more!

InterstellarLass said...

I love Spock. McCoy is just damn irritating. Hope the Captain gets back!

Michelle said...

"Is it concerning Mr Sulu, and that 'matter' that Starfleet have kept supressed?"

hilarious!

Shelley said...

This has just been "Facinating"!!! I wonder if Sulu would've been more honest with himself and his feelings had Captain Picard been at the helm. Picard better be careful...he may be "buddy buddy" with Worf, but I doubt he'll be sitting down for a cup of Earl Grey with the Klingons of the 23rd century! Nasty Bunch!

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