Bar Crawl

Guest Poster: Lieutenant Britney














My girlfriend T'Pol and I are doing a gay bar crawl around San Francisco. We are seeing if we can visit them all before we pass out. The trouble is that here in the 24th century, virtually every bar is a gay one. Nowadays, it is harder to see a a 'straight' one!

"We are going to behave ourselves aren't we, Brit?" T'Pol asks, "After all, we can't go in every one if they just throw us out."

Relax, sweetie." I tell her, "We're just gonna have a couple of jars and move on."

We go in the Degeneres Bar and get our drink. As we sip them, a tall blonde approaches, ignores me and starts speaking softkly to T'Pol.

"Hi lover girl." she huskily says, "I'm Maxine. How about we quit this joint and make sweet music together?"

"Thank you." T'Pol says politely, "But I'm drinking here with my girlfriend Britney.

 Maxine looks down on me as if I am something unpleasant she has trodden in.

"Surely you can't be serious?" she sneers, "I'll show you how a woman really can be."

That's enough for me. I get iout my umbrella and whack her.

A few moments later, we are walking to the next bar.

"I KNEW we'd end up getting thrown out!"complains T'Pol. "Relax." I reply, we did drink something there. Let's move on."

Our next stop is The Lesbos Lounge. We order two drinks and relax.


"Let's see how long we can stay in this one." T'Pol comments drily.

A figure comes up to us with dyed red hair. It takes me time to recognise her. It is Daisy, who appeared at the Christmas Party when it was held at Annette and Amanda's gay bar.

"Hi there." she says, "You two still together?"

"Stronger than ever." I answer firmly, just in case she was thinking of cutting in.

"Mmmm...pity." she says, "You two are admired on the circuit for being gay Starfleet Officers. You're the pin up girls for all the customers here."

T'Pol and I slowly look round. We see all the women in the bar are looking admiringly at us, some with cameras.

"So much for a quiet drink!" exclaims T'Pol, "The only place we are going to drink peacefully until we pass out is at Ten Forward on the Enterprise."

"I agree, sweetie." I tell her, then call into my ComLink. "Two to beam up."