The Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

I groggily wake up. Clearly I have being lying on the floor.

Data is standing over me.

"What happened, Data?" I try to say, although the room as spinning round.

"Evidentally, Doctor Crusher." he answers, "The Borg Queen switched the drinks which contained the knockout pills you were supposed to give her to keep her out of trouble. As a result, she has been dancing with Captain Picard non-stop. I administered an antidote to revive you earlier than you would have done"

The room stops spinning .I recall where I am. The Enterprise crew are in The Pink Klingon bar and nightclub, celebrating the annual party. Getting up, I look towards the dancefloor. Jean-Luc looks panic stricken as he is hauled around by the Borg Queen, who has just gestured to the band The Strolling Drones to play Long Legged Woman Dressed In Black



She’s a long-legged woman dressed in black,
dressed in black, dressed in black,
dressed in black, black, black
She’s a long-legged woman dressed in black,
dressed in black, dressed in black,
dressed in black, black, black


Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time I make a move,she tell me no

Yeah, she knows how to move, how to rock
How to rock, how to rock, how to rock, rock, rock
Yeah, she knows how to move, how to rock
How to rock, how to rock, how to rock, rock, rock

And she’s stoned like a flash in the night
In the night, in the night, in the n-, ni-, night
And she’s stoned like a flash in the night
In the night, in the night, in the n-, ni-, night

Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time, every time, every time, every time, every time, every time
Whoa!

She’s a long-legged woman dressed in black,
dressed in black, dressed in black,
dressed in black, black, black
She’s a long-legged woman dressed in black,
dressed in black, dressed in black,
dressed in black, black, black

Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time I make a move,she tell me no
Every time I make a move,she tell me no

I know the answer to that! I stride over to the band and tell them to play a rock version of Green Eyes, Red Hair



Devil’s inside her
The devil’s inside her

Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her

She’s a cup of tea, she’s a Jaegerbomb
She’s an angel, she’s an Amazon
She’s a poem, she’s an alphabet
She’s a violin with a bayonet
She’s a revolution, she’s a peace accord
She’s a grain of sand, she’s the Cliffs of Moher
She’s Friday night, she’s Sunday Morning
She’s a fair wind, she’s a sailor’s warning

Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
She’s got the devil inside her

She’s a glass house, she’s an ivory tower
She’s a tin roof, she’s a summer shower
She’s a carnival, she’s a masquerade
She’s a picket fence, she’s lemonade

Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
She’s got the devil inside her

She can disappear, she can walk on water
She’s the Queen of Sheba, she’s the farmer’s daughter
She’s a cocktail dress, a cowboy boot
She’s a question mark, she’s absolute

Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
Devil inside her
Green eyes, red hair, long legs
She’s got the devil inside her

She’s got the devil inside her

As it plays, I go up to Queenie and Jean-Luc and grab the Captain.

"Look, Jean-Luc" I say, "They're playing my song."

I whisk him away, and the Borg Queen is left amazed on the dance floor until she sulks off to the bar to get a drink from the hosts Annette and Amanda.

"Well done, Bev." Jean-Luc tells me, "You came through. But how...?"

"Never underestimate a woman's determinhation to keep her man" I reply with a sly smile.