"Now then, everyone." I say to my assembled senior staff in the Ready Room, "How will we be sorting out the Christmas Party this year?"
Immediately, there is a a hubbub, as all have varying opinions as to how it should be carried out, usually to suit themselves. Worf puts the point that it ought to be held on the Klingon homeworld.
"I can't see that as practical, Mr Worf." I reply, "The Klingons are not exactly known for their Christmas charm and hospitality."
"I believe they are, Captain ." he replies, "Every year, all Klingon children are given a new bat'leth so they can fight with their friends. If they are not bleeding at the end of the day, then they have failed their parents by not fighting."
I sigh at hearing this, and try and move on.
"Now, do we have any other suiggestions..." I ask
"How about at the Pink Klingon at the Starfleet Mall?" Ensign Britney suggests, "T'Pol and I always go there. The two women who manage it, Amanda and Annette let anything happen there. We were only there last week, and these two...."
"I think we want a degree of control, Britney." Bev says to her, "I know it's a Christmas party, but we don't want things to get out of hand, do we?"
"Unlike last year." Deanna comments.
"Nor the year before..." Riker adds.
"Nor the year before." Geordi says.
"All right!" I tell them, "I think we know what it's been like."
Seven of Nine stands up and bangs her hand on the table.
"The matter has been decided." Seven tells us firmly.
"What do you mean?" Riker asks her puzzlingly.
"The Borg Queen has informed me that she shall be attending the Enterprise Christmas Party, and our resident group The Strolling Bones will be attending to provide the music."
There is a universal groan around the table, as if all the replicators on the ship have broken down and there is no food on the ship.
"Very well." I grudgingly say, "You can tell the Queen that she is invited along with the band on to the Enterprise.."
"They would have come anyway." Seven starchily informs me, then turns to Britney, "Ensign, what is this Pink Klingon that you speak of?"
"Err." stammers Britney, with T'Pol giggling next to her, "It's a bar and dance club where err... those who go don't have to go with anyone of a different sex. In fact, they prefer when you go with someone of the same sex."
"Intruiging." surmises Seven, "I have decided that the Enterprise Christmas Party shall be held there."
"What!" cries out, Jennifer, "We don't want to go there!"
"Protesting is irrelevant!" Seven replies, "I shall recommend it to the Borg Queen for . You would not wish to incur the Borg's wrath, would you, Captain?"
I agree, and notice that Britney and T'Pol are laughing.
"Don't worry, Captain." T'Pol says., "Amanda and Annette will give us a good discount for the party. You won't have to dance with Commander Riker, either. The Pink Klingon DO permit men and women to dance together as well!"
It s all going to end in disaster!