Admiral Application Form (Part Two)

Though a cloud of despair has fallen over me, I continue to fill out the Admiral Application Form. T'Pol says they are their own little club and like to keep Captains where they are. I think she may be right. If I do well, they want to keep me there!

Next question....

Do you have anydisabilities? I had a heart transplant and was given a parthenogenetic one. I have since had that replaced as well.

Are there any other things about you that we should be aware of? I was assimilated by the Borg, was called 'Locutus' by them, which caused the Starfleet massacre at Wolf 359. I am all right now, though.

I hate writing this part, as I always think it prejudices the job application panel against me.

"Remove it!" pipes up a voice.



I look to see Ensign Britney peering at my answers over my shoulder.

"I can't do that." I tell her, "We are required to tell the truth in all Application Forms."

"Yeah!" she laughs sarcastically, "No wonder you're still just the Captain. Why don't you just massage it and stretch the truth a little?"

Britney leaves, and I reconsider what I could put. Perhaps 'caught by the enemy and undergone severe torture.'?

Yes, that sounds more like it.

One last question.....

What is your ethnic origin? Mind your own business.

Right, now I'll just transmit the application form via my computer.

I'm glad to have finished that. It's always such a pain having to do these forms. Perhaps this time I'll have a chance

Ping! You have e mail.

What? A reply already?

Captain Picard,

Thank you for your application for the post of Admiral. After careful consideration, the findings of the board are...you've GOT to be kidding!!!

Thank you for applying.

Starfleet Board of Selectors.

At least they let me down lightly!

Admiral Application Form (Part One)

I really don't know why I'm bothering.

Every time I fill out the application form for the post of Admiral, it gets rejected. I get a curt reply, usually saying something along the along the lines of "Thank you for your application, but we do not think you are suitable for the role. We hope you will try again in the future."

Loosely, this means, "Forget it, matey, you've got no chance."

Still, Deanna has urged me to try.



"Don't be downhearted, Captain." she says, "If you don't try, you will never get the Admiralty position."

I know why she's keen for me to try. It means her beloved Will Riker can sit in my chair. I'm not keen on that happening. I like it here on the Enterprise.

Still, one does get longer vacation time as an Admiral, and one gets a free key to the Admiral's Washroom. No using the same facilities as the riff raff. Believe me, the Enterprise washroom needs some cleaning after the Bolians have visited it.

Now where are we? Oh yes, the Application Form. Let's start filling it in..

Name: Jean-Luc Picard

Place and Date of birth: La Barre, France 2305

Current Position: Captain, USS Enterprise

Previous employment First Officer, USS Stargazer

Why do you think you would be suitable for this position? I've saved the universe enough times! Err.. I mean I think...errr..I know I have the necessary experience to carry out this role. I have diplomatic as well as leadership skills which can be put to...

"What are you doing, Captain?" asks T'Pol as she walks in. I know I have an 'open door' policy, but this is ridiculous.



I explain to her.

"You're wasting your time!" she replies with derision, "Admirals are a little club who like to look after their own. You've got no chance as they see you as a Captain who has done well in that position, so they'll keep you there."

T'Pol laughs and walks out.

A sense of despair fills me as I look at the remaining questions. T'Pol may well have a point. Admirals may well be their own little club, not seeing me as suitable.

Anyway, on with the questions...

To be continued...

-----------------

Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....


Welcome back to the 3rd edition of The Queen's Meme with Mimi Queen of Memes. Each week the type of meme will change; sometimes silly, sometimes serious, but always fun! Enjoy your time in the castle.
And remember, don't end up in the dungeon.



The Queen's Meme No. 3 is called the Culinary Meme. Contrary to popular belief, the Queen has been known to accidentally cook something edible. Although I've given the gift of food poisoning to a boyfriend or two in the past, I actually made the food you see here. Don't ask me how because I could never do it again. I made up the recipe and lived to tell it. I'll bet there are some good cooks out in the blogosphere. Show us your saucy side. Flip a hot burger and smooch on a mushroom. Strap on a sweet little apron with 3-inch heels (please don't do this guys) and pre-heat to perfection. I'm getting hungry now. How 'bout you? I can't wait to read your savory concoctions.

Dinner is at eight.



The Cooking Meme (What Is The Meaning of Thyme and Other Deep Questions)


1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do?

I would be singing a song called If I Could Have Thyme In A Bottle.....themn accused of plagurism by Jim Croce fans.

2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?

If they do have a nervous breakdown it might start them using crack cocaine!

3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?

I didn't know that butter was that submissive? It all sounds far too kinky.

4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?

That's a lesson to all wooden spoons: use protection.

5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open.
Why did you close them?

You're not going to let that stalker Romeo eat any of your cooking. It's been too much hard work. Let him pester that young girl Juliet next door instead.

6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?

Oddly enough, as soon as I told someone, they had me arrested.

7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them.
What did they say to get in hot water?

"Here's a joke for you, dish, what did the male dishwasher say to the female dishwasher?"

8. Is your pot black?

Ask the kettle

9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so?

Have you heard of the spice Marwa? I don't have it, but it's used in love potions.

10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?

It depends how big the pot is!


Thank you for playing the Queen's Meme this
week.

TWQ: If The First Moonshot Was This Year...

Last Monday, we celebrated the 40th anniversary of the first moon landing. This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks what would things be like if it were now.

If the first moon landing were taking place this week, what differences would there be? Be as surreal as you like, and list as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* The television channels would cut to an advert break just as the astronaut was coming out of the capsule.

* The astronaut would have sponsorship logos on his suit.

* The astronauts would be Twittering to their loved ones while on the moon.

Now it's over to you...

Borg Cultural Exchange (Part Five)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

This is gonna be a bumby ride!

Originally, I went to the Borg Cube Unimatrix 01 as part of a cultural exchange, but it all went wrong when we travelled to the Delta Quadrant. The Borg Queen got injured in an attack by Species 8472, and gave the job of getting the Cube back home to me! I've managed to destroy three enemy vessels, but more are on the way!

------------

The ships manned...if that's the word...by Species 8472 close in on us as I give the word to engage the Transwarp engines.

The Cube shakes, as if it is starting to fall apart, and I hear the hum outside.

"Transwarp engaged" says the Have Mind in my Borg headphones, "Possible failure in ten minutes."

That attack has done a lot of damage.

"What about the enemy vessels?" I ask

"They are pursuing us in the Transwarp Route" the Mind duly tells me.

Drat, double drat and even triple drat! We can't have Species 8472 hanging around in our Quadrant. They will definately be a blight to the neighbourhood.

I think for a moment.

"Release all Borg weaponry on delayed timer behind us." I tell the Mind.

I watch the fun on the screen as massive explosions in the Transwarp Route take place behind us, destroying the enemy fleet.

-------------

The Cube holds together and we emerge near the Enterprise.



I send a message to the ship, and see Jean-Luc and the others on my screen.



"This is Acting Borg Queen Beverly Crusher calling the Enterprise." I say, "The Cultural Exchange is over."

Perhaps I shouldn't have said that. Jean-Luc just fainted.

---------------

As I go to the beaming point on the Cube back to the Enterprise, the Borg Queen emerges to greet me. She has a few bruises, but looks all right.



"Thank you for saving the Cube, Beverly." she says, "I am must grateful. When it comes to the time for you to be assimilated, I shall recommend you as Borg Queen material. You will be in charge of your own Cube!"

"Err...thank you, Queenie." I reply.

I think that was a compliment!

Borg Cultural Exchange (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

To think that Jean-Luc and I could have been cuddling up right now watching the latest holographic movie on the Enterprise. Instead, I'm in command of a Borg Cube in the Delta Quadrant fighting Species 8472!

I volunteered to go on the Borg Cultural Exchange, but as the Borg Queen was showing me around, the Cube was attacked by their enemies in this Quadrant. It seriously injured the Queen. As she was taken to the medical facility, she gave me Command to get the Cube out of here and back to the Alpha Quadrant.

-------------

In the Command Room of the Cube, the drones turn to look at me, as if they are expecting me to tell them something. The screen registers three hostile ships coming towards us. Clearly, we haven't got long to go before they unleash fatal bioweapons on us.

I sigh and sit on the throne, putting the earphones and microphone in place, as instructed by Queenie.

Here we go......

I rush of voices come into the mind. I'm in contact with the Hive Mind. It's like a meeting of the Senior Staff on the Enterprise, where everyone wants to talk at the same time. I distinguish a message that says 'incoming transmission from Species 8472 ship'.

I tell them to put it through...



The most revolting and scariest alien I've seen comes on the screen. This one won't win any beauty contests.

"Borg vessel." the creature booms, "You will now be extinguished."

The picture goes off. Extinguished eh? We'll see about that!

As my mind is linked up to the Borg, I realise it can understand my tactical senses. Clever, eh?

"Unimatrix 01" I say in my Commander-voice, "Initiate Attack Delta-Delta-Omega!"



The crippled Cube shifts position as the 8472 vessels advance. It goes upwards and round as the bioweapons miss us. We are heading straight to the three ships."

"Attack Alpha-Beta!" I shout.

This is fun, although I don't think Jean-Luc would like me to play with the Enterprise like this.

Three Borg energy beams shoot out. Firstly one 8472 ship is destroyed, then the other two.

"YAY!" I shout, "Let's get out of here!"

"More vessels have appeared" the Hive Mind tells me.

I look at the screen in despair, as I see a whole fleet of Species 8472 ship coming out of the dimensional rift

"Engage Transwarp to Alpha Quadrant sector 101.238." I tell them.

That's where the Enterprise is. Let's hope we...and the Cube can make it!

To be continued...

----------------------

Editor's Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Queen's Meme No. 2...Mission Impossible..

1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it? Anti-dysentry tablets...they will go back at warp speed!

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something).
They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you.
What is the first thing you would write on the board? Would you mind being very quiet while I teach Manners otherwise I shall be forced to bring in my friends from the Skulls Gang to duff you you somewhat. Thank you for your attention.

3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile?
How would you handle it? Start my own blog and reply with a few phrases of my own.

4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on? You actually KNOW something that only costs a dollar????

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve? Serve? Are we playing tennis? Take 'em to McDonalds.

6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do? Try on their clothes

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences. If you have perfect health for a lifetime, how do you die? I'd go for that. I wonder what happens to the users of ~ 1 after ten years? It's probably very sudden.

Borg Cultural Exchange (Part Three)

Guest Poster: The Borg Queen

It seems like it might have been bad timing to invite Beverly Crusher on a cultural exchange of my Cube, Unimatrix 01. We are under attack by hostiles!

The whole thing started very pleasantly with a tour of the Assimilation Chamber and the new feng shui decorating we are doing throughout the Cube. Then the alarm sounded.

-----------

"Who are they, Queenie?" Bev asks increduously, "Surely no race goes and attacks the Borg and expects to get away with it?"

"That is true, Beverly." I reply, "But when showing you around, we used our transwarp engines to travel to the Delta Quadrant where our home is. Unfortunately, we are having a lot of problems with a group called Species 8472. Believe me, they are not the sort of individuals you would wish to meet on a dark night."



"You mean..." she starts...

"Yes, there are a race more powerful than the Borg." I confess, "But in your view, far more dangerous."

Beverly looks worried, and looks like she rues the time she volunteered to come on board. Frankly, I'm wishing I hadn't either. I was due for a vacation soon.

A massive explosion hits the side of the Cube. It'll play havoc with all the decorating that I've done lately. Drones are running around trying to do everything I tell them.



"They've hit us with a bioweapon!" I tell Bev, "We've got to retreat...."

Another big explosion hits. Beverly and I are thrown to the floor, and I feel a seering pain. Lots of blood is on the floor....mine unfortunately!

"What's wrong, Queenie?" she asks, as she examines me.

"I'm badly injured." I tell her, "The drones are going to have to take me to the medical facilty on board and repair me. In the meantime, Beverly, you're going to have to take charge."

"What!" she replies in disbelief.

"You're our only chance." I say to Beverly, "The drones need instructing. Sit on the throne and talk into the microphone. With the earpice in your ear, you will be connencted to the Hive Mind. Get us out of here and back to the Alpha Quadrant where the Enterprise is."

With that, drone stretcher bearers carry me to the medical facilty, as Beverly looks around dazed, not sure what to do next.

To be continued...

TWQ: Cheering Up

For anybody a little depressed, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about cheering up.

What things cheer you up? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Going on vacation.

* Watching 'Blazing Saddles'.

* Friday

* My birthday

* Seeing friends from years ago

Now it's over to you...

Borg Cultural Exchange (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

I have just volunteered to spend a few days on a Borg Cube as part of a cultural exchange initiated by the Borg Queen. It will be for a few days.

Jean-Luc looks aghast, and pulls me aside.

"Bev!" he exclams, "You can't go on that trip, it's too dangerous."

"Things will be all right." I reply, "As you said in the meeting, I am there to learn as much as I can. It's only for a few days. The Queen has guaranteed note to assimilate. Besides that, we still have Seven here as insurance.

Jean-Luc looks beaten, and sighs.

"Very well, Bev." he says, "Just be careful in there. You never know what might happen."

----------

A few hours later, the Borg Cube Unimatrix 01 has pulled up at the rendezvous point. I clench Jean-Luc and kiss him.

"See you soon, Bev." he whispers in my ear. At that, I beam out.

----------

I appear in a greenish tinted room. Suddenly, a lot of movement starts taking place..



The Borg Queen gets assembled from the machine in front. When that has occured, she walks over to me.

"So sorry I wasn't here to meet you personally." she says cheerily, "It seemed to take me ages to get ready today. There didn't seem to be anything to wear in my wardrobe. I had to go and terminate a few drones for not getting me fixed on time."

I wear a slightly fractured smile at this mention.

"Still, us girls have got to stick together, haven't we?" she enthuses, "You're Beverly Crusher, aren't you? I remember you from the Enterprise Christmas Party. I'm glad it's you Locutus has sent over. I'm sure we'll get on well."

"Err....I'm sure we will..err...your highness." I reply.



"Your highness?" she laughs, "Only the drones call me that. You can call me Queenie. All my friends do."

Somewhat amazed at this revelation, I do so, and we begin the tour of the Cube.

"This is the Assimilation Chamber." the Queen shows me enthusiastically, "Do you want to take a closer look?"

"Err..no, I'll pass on that, if you don't mind." I answer nervously, as we go on.

The Queen the shows me the decorating that is currently going on within the Cube, how her drone designers One One and One Two are implememting a feng shui design and relaxation areas for the drones to increase morale.

"Jean-Luc wouldn't believe it if I told him." I say to myself.

Suddenly an ear-splitting alarm goes off.

"What's that?" I shout while the noise is going on.

"It's the alarm." the Queen replies, "We're under attack.

To be continued...

Borg Cultural Exchange (Part One)

"Locutus." Seven of Nine says to me as she walks into my Ready Room, "I wish to speak with you."

Seven never knocks when entering a room. She just walks straight in, as if the people in the room are waiting to be addressed by her. It's a relief she has not barged in while Bev and I have had one of our kissing times. I think I'll have to get the door locked.

I'm getting distracted.

"What is it you want, Seven?" I enquire.



"While I have been regenerating in my alcove." she starts, "I have been talking to my leader, the Borg Queen. She has a request to ask of you."

The sounds ominous. The Borg Queen tends not to 'ask' anything, but do it, whether we like it or not.

"What is it?" I reply.

"As I have been on the Enterprise to learn about human methods of behaviour." she tells me, "The Queen has informed me that she thinks it only fair that a member of this starship should spend some time on a Borg Cube to see how we function."

I nearly drop my hot Earl Grey tea in my lap. I must learn not to drink whenever I am talking to someone, as I never know what they are going to say. This is the second uniform I've ruined in a month. The Enterprise Dry Cleaners are making a fortune out of me.

"That's out of the question!" I exclaim, "We can't allow one of our people to go on a Cube and get assimilated!"

"The Borg Queen has given her guarantee that this would not happen." Seven replies, "Whoever goes would just be there for a few days and be allowed to return to the Enterprise afterwards. You must decide who to send within 24 hours."

Seven strides out and I summon the rest of the senior staff.

------------

The staff are all assembled and I explain the situation to them.



"You can't be serious!" Riker exclaims, "Who would want to go?"

"It could be a good thing, Number One." I tell him, "It would give us a chance to learn more about the Borg way of life than they've let on before. We've had to let Seven study us, now we can see them as they normally are."

Everyone looks around at each other, waiting for someone to volunteer

"All right." says a voice from the back, "I'll do it."

We all look to see who it is....



To be continued...


-----------------

From the editor:



Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Blog Outside The Box Meme
This meme is all about using your imagination. Free your inner blogginess. Step outside the proverbial blox (that's blog + box for all you non-blog speakers). Answer these ridiculous situational questions and post them on your own blog. Here's the situation for today. We won't tell a soul. And remember:
Don't end up in the dungeon.



1. You are in court. You are in deep doo-doo. What did you do? ('Cause if you want, I might could talk to the judge and get your sentence reduced to Bloggingham dungeon time.)

She wanted me to see the new warp conduit in Engineering...yes I know it was midnight.

2. Your blog just became a best-selling book . What is the title of your book ?

How to make masses of money.

3. It is midnight. The phone rings. It is Michael Jackson calling from the Great Beyond.
What would you like to ask him?

"Michael who?"

4. You are having your future told. The fortune teller looks in the crystal ball, screams and leaves the room in fright. What did they see?

Me doing a kareoke performance at the Enterprise Christmas Party.


5. You're blogging along minding your own blusiness (that's blog + oh...you know) when Google unexpectedly puts a Objectionable Content Warning on your blog. Your own mother is afraid to enter! What, pray tell, did you do to warrant it? How did this happen? Do you think you deserve it? Just how objectionable are you? Do tell.

The Enterprise destroyed the Google HQ as it was taken over by aliens.

6. You suddenly become God Of The Universe. What would your first Commandment be?

Let's get rid of the Q Continuum!

7. And finally, what secret would you like to tell the Queen?
Not to worry. What happens in Bloggingham, stays in Bloggingham.

"Well you know when I was supposed to be on duty with Bev on the Bridge during the night shift......?"

TWQ: Favourite Clothes

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about what you like to wear.

Are there any particular clothes that you enjoy wearing and consider them your favourites? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Leather jacket that I bought in Turkey

* Norwegian sweater that I bought in Bergen

* A long blue trenchcoat

* 'Indian princess spirit' Mountain t shirt bought in shop that sold American goods.

Now it's over to you...

Deanna Counsels Ro Laren (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

You might well ask why I'm on a dunghill type planet like Realta IV, armed with Jenny Baxter's multi-phase disrupter in the middle of the night. The answer is blackmail.

Ro Laren is with me. She came to me and confessed that the Cardassian woman Malana is threatening to expose her secret romance with the Cardassian Ambassador Gul Vorak. Such a revelation would end the careers of Laren & Vorak, and ostracise them from their planets. Malana wants us to bring 20 bars of latinum to keep her quiet.

We have come without latinum.

-------------------

As Ro, Malana and myself meet in a dark Realta IV alleyway, the Cardassian turns angry.



"So where is the latinum, Bajoran?" Malana says to Ro, "I don't see any?"

"That's because we don't pay blackmailers, Malana." I say, stepping into her line of view.

"Ah, so you've got an accomplice, Bajoran." sneers Malana, "As she has a disruptor, is that the only way you thought of finishing this. I warn you, if I don't get back, I have left instructions for everything to be revealed."

She's clever.



"Deanna, what will we do?" exclaims Ro suddenly.

"Oh, you're Deanna Troi the Betazoid!" laughs Malana, "You're not going to get far reading my mind, Betazoid!"

"I don't need to, Malana." I reply, "I've found out a few things about you. It appears you are wanted in quite a few places. Robberies, affairs with high-ranking Cardassian husbands...or sometimes even their wives, whichever was the most convenient for you at the time, then stealing jewels. You're very popular with the authorities of different planets."

"It's all circumstantial!" yells an angry Malana, "So I did those robberies; there's no proof and I'd get off easily as those dumb judges would let me off.



I raise my skirt to reveal a recorder.

"I'm sure this tape recorded message will be very interesting for the dumb judges to listen to." I say with a smile, "Now listen, Malana. We're letting you go to stop that info about Ro being released. We'll have this recording over you to use if you bother Ro again."

Malana gives us both a poisonous look before reluctantly agreeing. She vanishes into the shadows.

"Well done, Deanna!" Ro says, "That was fantastic."

"The next job is even more tough." I say, "How do I get the stench of this awful planet out of my hair?"

Deanna Counsels Ro Laren (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Ro Laren

Blackmail is a grubby business, even more so when I'm the one being blackmailed!

The Cardassian woman Malana has demanded that I give here twenty bars of the valuable latinum or she will reveal to the Federation, the Bajorans and to the Cardassian government that I have a secret boyfriend, who is Gul Vorak, the Cardassian Ambassador to Earth. Such a revelation would finish our careers and leave us ostricised from both our home worlds. I've been forced to reveal my problem to ship's Counselor Deanna Troi.

----------------

"Come on, Ro." says Deanna, "We've got to sort this problem out. I've done some research on Malana. Let's beam down to Realta IV and sort her out."

"What are we going to do." I ask, still sniffing on my Enterprise-embossed tissue."



"Let's play it by ear." Deanna answers, "Jenny has let me borrow her multi-phase disruptor for the occasion."

"We can't kill anyone!" I protest, "Besides, I can't imagine Jenny loaning ANYONE her disruptor. It's her favourite weapon."

"It's just for protection, Ro." Deanna tells me, and admits that Jenny didn't exactly lend it. She was booked for a long session in the holodeck, so tells me we would be back before Jenny Baxter knew.

-------------

We take the shuttlecraft down while most of the Enterprise is sleeping, telling the others that we are going out clubbing.

After emerging from the shuttle when it lands, we can see it's clearly not des res.

"What a dump!" I exclaim, "This planet really is trashy."

The two of us walk down the main street; everybody looks shady.

"Anybody on Skid Row would have moved out of this place as it's beneath their standing." Deanna says to herself, "Now where's the location in which Malana said to find her?"

"Just up here." I indicate, as we step over a few bodies lying in the road.

The two of us enter an alleyway, that barely has any light. We can't see if anyone is there. Suddenly a wall light is turned on, and I see a familar face.



"Hello, Bajoran." Malana says softly, looking at me, "So we meet again."

To be continued...

TWQ: Sunshine

As it's a major heatwave here in Britain, this week's TWQ (The Weekend Question) is all about sunshine.

When there is a heatwave, what do you like to do?

My answer is:

Usually I hide in the shade, as excessive heat is just too much. I like pleasant sunshine at best. Naturally, when on vacation I look forward to more sun....but not THAT much more!

Now it's over to you...