Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Feng Shui In The Borg Cube (Part Two)
Guest Poster: The Borg Queen.
With the drone interior designers One One and One Two on my Cube, they are currently showing me Feng Shui ideas to brighten the place up. I've thought for ages that black and green are hardly the designs for a happy Cube.
Naturally, the Troi Borg Queen, who has the 02 Cube opposes it, but has been overruled by our Leader the Alpha Borg Queen. She wants to see the plans in place here before ordering the other Cubes to follow suit.
"All right." I say to the two drones, "Show me what other designs you have in mind for the Cube."
"Certainly your highness." One Two says with a grovelly voice, "Our brief is to make this the top Cube in the Borg fleet, one that will make the drones green with envy until their Cube gets the same treatment."
"Cut out the grovel and carry on." I tell him.
"Now this is a charming waiting room area." One One continues, "Before anyone enters the Assimilation Chamber, they can relax in this peaceful environment, read a magazine and chat to each other. We consider this a better approach than the rather intimidating way we've tried befre."
"I see you you mean." I answer, "Carry on."
"Now after a hard day of conquering planets and assimilation" One One continues, "What better than to relax in your own private Ready Room, away from the drone of the drones and switch to complete peace and quiet."
This appeals to me a lot. Already I am picturing myself sitting in those comfy seats.
"Now after a hard of ruling your Cube, what better than to relax and sleep in your bedroom? The bed itself is queen-size, of course, and has artificial soft light filter through in the morning."
I love it!
"All right, you two." I command, "Get everything installed into the Cube as soon as possible. We're going to turn the 01 into something special!"
They scurry off and I sit back with my martini, looking forward to the event in the near future when the Cube changes.