Monday, September 26, 2005

Data's Day

.

Today, I have decided to compose a record of my day.

07:00 : My internal alarm wakes me up ready for the new day.

First of all, Spot is restless around my quarters, demanding that she is fed. I go to the replicator and ask for Feline Sustinence Number 24. This provides an all-round balance for any cat. If Spot has been good, she gets Feline Sustinence Number 27.

She rarely receives this.

Unfortunately, Spot has acquired a bad reputation amongst my friends, and they are somewhat reluctant to look after her when I go on an Away Mission.

07:15: I head towards the Bridge as my duty shift is due to begin at 07:30.

07:45: Commander Riker reactivates me in the garbage container. Somebody has been quietly walking behind me and switching me off. I am then thrown down the garbage chute. It seems it may be one of the children of the crew. Commander Riker tells me that as I am so punctual, that if I am late at all, they will always know the garbage container is where I'll be.

We spend all morning studing a cluster. This is very fascinating, and suggest we probe further. Captain Picard and Commander Riker are looking a little bored, and quickly inform me that they think we have seen enough.

12:00: Break time. I spend some time in Ten Forward; Guinan serves me a drink. The new recruit, a young female human named Ensign Jennifer Baxter sits next to me and starts talking to me.

"Is it true you're fully functioning, Data?" she says in an odd voice that emphasises 'fully'.

"Err...yes, Ensign Baxter."

"I'll have to remember that." she replies.

Guinan walks away, giggling loudly.

I wonder what that was all about?

13:00: I go down to Engineering to see Geordi. It is time for my weekly diagnostic. Geordi calls it my 'oil change', although I can't see why. There is no oil involved at all.

"Well, Data, it seems you're still ticking well."

I tell him about the incident this morning with the garbage container.

"Err....yes, Data, there are some bad people around. Ummmm, I wonder who it could be?"

Geordi seems very hesitant for some reason.

16:00: My duty shift has ended for the moment, and I go to the holodeck. I don my Sherlock Holmes outfit on and decide to pursue Moriaty through the London docks. Geordi records my exploits, as he is dressed as Doctor Watson. Naturally I win, as I programmed the simulation.

20:00: I am on my way to the Bridge for the night shift. On the way, I see Ensign Baxter; she must have an eye afflication, as she winks at me when she passes.

I am now sitting in the Captain's chair while the other senior staff are sleeping. Commander Riker calls this period if duty 'the Graveyard Shift', although there are no dead bodies around.

04:00: The day is ended; I deactivate myself, with an alarm in place for the next day.

11 comments:

War Eagle said...

Data,

Ask Riker about Baxter he may have some insight about what she wants.

LOL

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You work two shifts a day?

Dude, you are a machine!

Chris W. said...

Data, you and I need to find whoever is switching you off, and beat the crap out of them. How immature!

Trinity13 said...

This Jennifer Baxter sounds a lot like Yar!

Shelley said...

Wow....and just when you think you have friends around....I'm skeert for you Data....

Ciera said...

Uhm, Data...really, it shouldn't be that hard to find out who's shoving you down the garbage shoot...the recorder throughout the ship should have caught it - unless someone's altered them...in which case it, uhm, couldn't be a kid. Elementary dear Data - what do you hear right before everything goes black? When you hear it again - quick, turn around and catch them in the act!!

Ciera said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
teahouse said...

What about your evil twin? Any word from him lately?

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Do you have any tips on how to reprogram that internal alarm? Mine keeps going off at 5 am even on week-ends!!

Anonymous said...

IS DATA'S EYES Mechanic too?? It has always freaked me out

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Trinity, Ensign Baxter told me on her interview that Tasha Yar was her heroine.

Ciera, you might have a good idea there.

Teahouse, you never know; Lore may pop up sometime.

Barbara, when your alarm is built in to your body, things are different.

Mrs Mogul, you ask a good question. Yes they are, but might be an organic compound.