Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Morale Boosting

Today, we're having a meeting about how to boost the flagging morale of the crew.

"They need to be told to be efficient!" says Worf.

"That doesn't achieve the objective, Mr Worf." I say, "The crew will work a lot better when they are happy."

"Then they need to be ordered to be happy." he replies.

"I think they need some entertainment." suggests Deanna.

"That's an excellent idea; what do you suggest?"

"Er...I'm not sure, Captain."

"What about The Dregs?" says Geordi.

"Who are they?" I reply.

"The newest international rock band in the Federation. They play heavy metal at 200 decibels."
"We want to entertain the crew, Mr La Forge, not turn them all stone deaf."

"How about Christina Spears, the teen pop sensation?" asks Beverly.

"Is she the 19 year old singer who has married 4 times?"

"Yes, she's very popular."

"I don't think that's possible." Data says, "As she is on tour in a distant part of the galaxy?"

"Can we not do a holographic concert by her."

"It's hardly the same thing, Captain. The crew will want the real thing." Deanna tells me.

"What about a Talent Night?" suggests Riker.

"What do you mean, Number One?"

"Well, the senior staff could all come and entertain the crew with their various skills. I'm sure it would be highly entertaining."

All of the others agree enthusiastically. I can see a problem here.

"Err, surely the Captain wouldn't need to take part, would he?" I ask.

"But you'd have to," says Deanna, "It would be the highpoint of the show."

I reluctantly agree to the show; it looks like I've got to find a talent.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Perhaps some magic tricks, Captain? Something like pulling a Monkeyboy out of your hat. Or better yet, pulling a Monkeyboy out of your hat, sticking him into a torpedo tube, and launching him into a star.

Master Yoda said...

When low morale in the Temple is, Force-wedgies I administer to everyone.

Cheer up the other Jedi this does not. But my morale it raises. And what's really important that is.

Jo Jo The Monkeyboy's Ghost said...


I loves magic! Watch me make a banana daiquiri disapear!

nobody said...

I know what the Captain could do!


Either that... or sing. You're a pretty good singer, aren't you?

Angel of Music said...

Quote Shakespeare in that wonderful voice of yours! Something your passionate about, and yet not too, um, frilly. :0)

Stationery Queen said...

Hmmmmmm. Reflect the light off your bald head to kill an ant on the ground maybe?

Play that little flute you learned to play during one of the best episodes of TNG of all time!

Do an impression of Riker, complete with air trombone.

Or not. :-)

Ciera said...

Just keep thinking about Christmas Captain, and all the dancer partners wiating in line.

and uhm....*quietly*...Data doesn't speak in contractions, are you sure it's him or has his pesky twin shown up?

War Eagle said...

Play ur flute for them captain. I'm sure they will love it.

Trinity13 said...

Why don't you show the crew the perfect way to tug down on a uniform.

Haris said...

Well perhaps you can give them your world famous rendition of Shakespere, or perhaps a lecture in the ancient culture roots of the Andari. I am not sure that this will bring up the moralle but its bound to be educational. After All chearing up is what the holodeck is for anyway, isn't it.

Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i think you should do a song and dance number, do a classic

Free to Be said...

Geez, I was hoping for a keger and bonfire.

Shelley said...

Oh that Worf, always so cut and dry!!!! I agree with BSTS, a song and dance would be super. How about "Shake Your Booty"!!! I will definitely request that one for the Christmas Party.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You'll see what I do in the next post.

SQ, it was one of my favourite episodes as well.

Ciera, well spotted. A little blooper, there.

Haris, I don't want to sent them to sleep.

Better Safe, you might be very near what I will do.

Free, a bonfire wouldn't go down well on a starship.

Shelley...the perfect song is....

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