Data & Jennifer On Vacation (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

My boyfriend Data and I are on the planet Solaris. We had a slightly odd look from Raymond the receptionist when he found out that Data was an android, and scurried off.

Now, a few hours later, Data and I have been having fun in the pool when three people, obviosly hotel managers confront us and ask me to follow them.

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"I wonder what it is they want?" Data says to me as he hands me the towel to dry off.

"Dry your emotion chip out, sweetie!" I say in exasperation, "It's obvious. They are objecting to me, a human woman being in the same suite as an android and having a relationship with him."

"Do you think so, Jenny?" he asks, "I thought that the Federation had evolved from that."

"Yeah, so did I." I say, agressively, "Leave this to me. Let me talk to them.

We both stride off to the hotel office, my hands in fists, ready to use them!

When we get there, the three managers are facing us. They all have placid looks, as if emotion has been drained from them at the Hotel Training Course.



"Hello, Miss Baxter." says the woman, ignoring Data, "I'm Mariana, the Manager of the Solara Hotel, and these are my associates, Jeff and John. A matter of some delicacy has arisen concerning you and err...your android friend."

"Oh yes?" I comment, urging Data to keep quiet at the moment.

"May I ask." continues Mariana, "What sort of relationship you have with your android friend?"

This gets me very annoyed, but I stay in sarcastic mode.

"Perfectly normal, Mariana." I erespind, "The sort any normal boyfriend and girlfriend might have, just like you probably have with Jeff....or John....or both."

Mariana blushes bright red, and Jeff and John look at each other.

"Miss Baxter!" she exclaims, "But I'm sorry. The Solara cannot allow relations between and android and a human to go on. You must both leave now!"

I'm just about to go into a fist fight with Mariana when Data holds me back and steps forward.



"That is not permissable." he says flatly, "This is a Federation planet, and one of the main rules if you study the Articles of Association is that citizens must respect ALL lifeforms. Since I was declared to be a lifeform some years ago, you must respect my wishes."

Mariana stops in her tracks and urges Jeff to check the Articles of Association on the computer. He comes back a few moments later to confirm everything Data said.

"We could issue a formal complaint." I say to Mariana, "But I have a better idea how you can pay for your actions."

-----------------

Some hours later, Data and I are lounging by the pool.

"Would you like another drink, Jenny?" he asks me.

"Sure I would." I reply, "Ring the bell."

He rings the bell, and Mariana runs up.

"Is there something you need, sir, madam?"

We order our drinks, and she scurries off.

Data & Jennifer On Vacation (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

Data and I are arriving on the beach planet of Solara. I have decided that I want my tan topping up. He did say that I could be doing this on a program in the holodeck, but I've replied to him saying it's not the same thing.

"Now have you packed your emotion chip, Data?" I ask him, "We are on vacation, and I don't want to suddenly find you've left it in our quarters on the Enterprise. We need that this week; it's not like forgetting an alarm clock."

"I have in in my skull, Jenny." he answers, "I just need to flick the switch and it will be fun time."

"That's my Data!" I reply, laughing.

Data picks up all the many suitcases he and I have, and lists them all up on to the cart and carries it into the hotel. That's the advantage of having an android boyfriend with super-strength. No tipping for bellboys who are holding their hands out, waiting for a tip!

We apprtoach ther reception to see an overgrinning hotel clerk.

"Hello, I'm Raymond." he says, "Welcome to the Hotel Solaris."



Why is it that desk clerks always seem to look the same? It makes one think they came off a production line. Who knows? Maybe they do.

"Data and Miss Jennifer Baxter." Data answers, "Booked for the Penthouse Suite."

Raymond looks a little puzzled at Data. "Are you an android?" he asks.

"Affirmative." replies Data.

"And you are human?" he asks me, as if I didn't know where this is leading.

"Of course." I answer.

"Err.....have a good time." he says hurriedly and lets us go, as if he intends to tell his staff about the odd couple who have checked in."

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A few hours later, I have my bikini on, and am swimming in the hotel pool.



"Come on in the water, Data!" I yell to him, as he sits in his deckchair reading the latest issue of Popular Robotics, "Come and enjoy yourself in the water."

Data walks up to the edge.

"If I do, Jenny." he tells me, "I always have to do a Level One Diagnostic on myself afterwards."

"I'll give you that Level One Diagnostic myself!" I reply seductively, and grab his leg so Data plunges in the water. He surfaces and kisses me. That emotion chip is in!

Suddenly, we see a group of figures on the side of the pool. They are all hotel staff, including Raymond the receptionist.

"Mr Data, Miss Baxter." the manager says coldly, "We need you to both come with us. Some facts about you two have been given to me from our receptionist."

To be continued...

TWQ: Best DVD Box Sets

This week, TWQ looks at your favourite DVD/BluRay box sets

Which DVD/BluRay box sets are your favourites are well put togetrt. List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
The Complete Battlestar Galactica
The Complete Prison Break
24 (seasons 1, 5 and soon 8)
Lost
The Complete Star Trek Voyager

Note: I haven't included the Complete SG1 because ot was poorly done, with the first season not remade to include subtitles)

Now it's over to you...

The Photographer (Part Two)

Editors, Note:

Aaron Nace, ace photographer for Galactic Picture Magazine is aboard the Enterprise. He has said he is more interested in taking pictures of the female crew members as it sells more copies of the magazine, much to the annoyance of Captain Picard, who was preparing himself to be photographed before Nace came aboard.



Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

My soulsistah T'Pol and I are walking down the corridors of the Enterprise when we overhear voices.

"I've taken some great pictures, Captain." says an unfamiliar voice, "But the trouble is, most are in the same Starfleet uniform. We could do with some shots of others who wear something else. I know Seven of Nine wears that metal drone outfit, but we don't want to scare the readers."

T'Pol and I look at each other, laugh and step forward.

"Well we don't!" I say as we go forward to introduce ourselves. Captain Picard groans and tells this photographer, named Aaron Nace that we have dispensation to wear what we like as I'm from the planet Delta, and T'Pol is from the 22nd century.

"Now this is more like it!" exclaims Nace, "What a couple of babes! I'll have you both on the cover of our latest magazine and we'll have an all-time high circulation. All the male readers will adore you."

"Brit and I are only interested in each other, aren't we?" T'Pol tells him plainly.

"That's right, soilsistah." I confirm, "You're my girl."

"That's fabulous!" Nace tells us in realisation, "It'll send circulation sky-high."

Captain Picard decides to take a stress pill at this time.

-----------

A few hours later, T'Pol and I are ready for our picture session.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the Captain asks us both, "It's not exactly the image of the Enterprise we wished to present."

"Don't worry, Captain" T'Pol tell him, "We'll keep our clothes on."

"Are we?" I ask her.



A few moments later, I'm there posing with my blonde wig on, and not much else.

"You look fab, Britney." Nace says as he snaps away, "You and T'Pol will be famous after the magazine is published."

After that, he turns to T'Pol.



"That's groovy, " he says, "A real chic outfit. What every 24th century girl should be wearing."

I cheer from behind and blow her kisses.

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After the session, Nace packs up and is ready to go.

"Well, goodbye, Captain." he says, you've got a glamourous crew here. Britney and T'Pol will be the main stars in the magazine. When it's published, they'll be celebrities."

Deanna Troi suddenly runs in.



"Hey, what about me?" she says to Nace, "I'm Deanna Troi. I had to take a lecture, and couldn't come any earlier. You can take my picture now, Mr Nace."

"Err...I'm sorry, Miss Troi." Nace replies, "I've got all the pictures I need with the help of these two women here."

Deanna looks at us both in annoyance, then storms out of the room without saying a word.

"Oops!" I say, giggling at T'Pol.

"Brit!" she laughs.

"We're gonna be celebs!"

The Photographer (Part One)

"I'm surprised you let this photographer come on board, sir." Riker tells me as we go to meet our arrival, "You never usually like meeting with the media."

"That's true, Number One," I reply, "But I thought as Captain, I ought to allow myself to be seen in the pages of Galactic Picture Magazine. After all, it's circulation runs throughout the Federation."

"So that's why you've got your dress uniform on." Riker comments rather slyly. I ignore this, and we proceed to the Transporter Room, whwere a figure beams in.



"Hello." says the figure, "I'm Aaron Nace, and I've come to do a picture spread on the Enterprise and...."

"Greetings Mr Nace." I say rather hurriedly, "I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard. now I haven't too much time, so we we go to the holodeck, you can take your various shots of me in any environment, so shall we go?"

"Err..." stutters Aaron, "Hasn't anyone told you?"

"Told me what Mr Nace?"

"That I'm not here to do a spread about you, but of the women on the Enterprise?"

"What!" I say, noticing that Riker has a slight grin.

"Well, you see, Captain Picard." Aaron explains, "Galactic Picture Magazine sells well with a pretty girl on the cover. We want more inside as well."

"And it would sell more than one with me on the cover, you are saying?"

"Err...yes, Captain." he tells me, "Sorry for any confusion."

Jennifer Baxter and Beverly come in. Aaron gets his cameras ready.



"Thanks, Doc." he calls out, "That was great."


"Jenny, you look super. The Enterprise women are real winners."

Both women giggle and leave the room.

"I don't know about you, Number One." I say irritatingly, "But this photographer is getting me very annoyed!"

TWQ: A Case Of The Mondays

Many of us feel depressed when it is Monday. TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks for things to help get over it.

What can you list to help you get over the Monday Morning Blues?

My answers are:

* Tuesday

* My bed

* A good breakfast

* A broken alarm clock

Now it's over to you....

Jadzia's Wedding Dress (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

I'm currently in the the Starfleet Mall shop Wedding Dresses by Alanis with my friend Ro Laren. We are trying to find a suitable dress that I can wear for my forthcoming marriage to Worf. So far, we've had little success, with the range varying from the boring to the downright outrageous.



"We're not going to get anything here, Jadzia." Ro gloomily tells me, "Let's look elsewhere."

"Just a moment, ladies." Alanis says desperately, "I've never had a customer leave here without one of my dresses, and you're not going to be the first. Stay a little while, as I'm sure we'll find you something suitable, Miss Dax."

We agree, and a model comes in, wearing another dress.



"This one isn't bad." muses Ro.

"I agree." I tell her, "It woild be fime if I were marrying a prince in his vastle, but it's Worf I'm getting hitched to, and we want everything to be in a Klingon design. I'm looking forward to Worf breaking my clavicle on our wedding night. It's a sign of good luck for the marriage,"

Ro looks at me oddly, and Alanis approaches.



"I'm sorry, Miss Dax." she says, "I couldn't help overhearing. Is it true that you are marrying a Klingon, and want rhe ceremony to be in the proper Klingon manner?"

"That's right."

"Ah, well I have the answer to your problems!" Alanis smiles, as she brings us a huge book with the Klingon symbol on it. The book says Klingon Wedding Dresses

I smile, and open the book.



"Now THIS is  more like it!" I exclaim to Ro as I leaf through the pages. Suddenly I stop.

"This is it!" I say, "I want to get married in this dress."

"It's a good one, Jadzia." Ro agrees.

"Excellent, Miss Dax." Alanis beams, somewhat relieved that I have at last found a dress that I like, "I'll measure you and have it made."

-------

Ro and I leave the shop, both happy that a major choice in my wedding has been decided.

Jadzia's Wedding Dress (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Ro Laren and I are in the Starfleet Mall, looking for a ship where I can choose a wedding dress from. Soon, I'll be getting married to Worf, and I want something that looks good. All right, the Dax symbiont I carry may well have been married before, but I'm Jadzia, and I want this to be a good one!



"Look!" exclaims Ro suddenly, which stops me reading my copy of Galactic Bride magazine, "That might be what we are looking for."

We see a shop that says Wedding Dresses by Alanis: We have dresses for all types of women in Starfleet.

"That does look promising." I say in agreement, "Let's take a look."

As we enter the shop, we are greeted by an overfriendly woman.



"Greetings, ladies." she beams, "I am Alanis, and have been employed by Starfleet to cater for all tastes in the Federation. Now which of you two women are getting married? Unless it's to each other?"

"No!" I reply firmly, "I'm the one getting married. I am Jadzia Dax. My friend Ro Laren is here to help me in my choice."

"Of course." Alanis replies, "I have some models in the back who will try on some ideas. Felicity will show you our Grecian dress."



"Very pretty." I say, "But rather samey. I want something different."

"Well, Jadzia." muses Alanis, "How about this?"



Ro tries not to laugh, and barely supresses her giggles.

"I'm not wearing that!" I exclaim angrily, "What do you think everyone would say?"

"Ensign Britney would probably like it." comments Ro, "And would choose it if she and T'Pol got married."

"You might be right, there, Ro." I say, "But it's not for me. Alanis, find something better than this!"

"Very well, Jadzia." she replies, and goes scurrying off into the dress room to find some more dresses.

"We could be here some time, Ro." I commrnt to my friend, "I had no idea that choosing a wedding dress would be this difficult."

To be continued...