Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Kathryn, Bev & Jean-Luc

Guest Poster: Kathryn Janeway 

Well, it's great to be back on Earth at last after seven long years away on Voyager. Next time I'll take one of those navigation devices that fit in cars. Tom Paris could never find his way around anywhere!

Would you believe it, the ship lands on Earth, just outside Starfleet Headquarters. Some bigwig comes on and makes me an Admiral!  All this for getting their ship lost for seven years. The logic of some people. I know B'Elanna wouldn't have been happy about it, but she had just delivered her daughter and was in no mood to complain.

Finally I get off board and go to my apartment. The mail that I have. Despite the regular items, seven years of junk mail is a lot, I can tell you that.

Eventually I have a hot bath and change. The door bell goes. I answer it and find it is Jean-Luc Picard and Beverly Crusher.

"Hello erm...Admiral Janeway." Crusher begins, "Captain Picard and I would like to welcome you back to Earth and congratulate you on your new appointment."

Kowtowing to the new Admiral! Before I left, seven years ago, Beverly was very much the friendly sort. We would hold each other up in the bars and come back drunk at night!

"Yes." Picard adds, "We thought we'd lost you when the Voyager vanished." It's so good that an invaluable member of Starfleet is back with us."

Oh puh-leeze! Pass the sickbag, someone!

"Call me Kate like you used to!" I yell out at last, "All this formality is driving me crazy! For seven years I've had to maintain top rank as Captain on a tin can at the other end of the galaxy. It's about time you let the Starfleet collar off!"

"Err...yes, Admiral...I mean Kate." Jean-Luc answers, still rather reluctant to address a superior officer in that way, even off duty.

Beverly is different. She stands up and hugs me tightly.

"Welcome back, Kate!" she says warmly. "I've missed you SO much!"

"That's more like it!" I answer, "Now remember, Jean-Luc, the next time you visit here, leave your starchy collar behind."


"Now, Bev, I haven't been to the Starfleet Mall in seven years, nor have we been able to go to the bar and have enough drinks that we get thrown out.."

"That's something we are going to have to do." Bev answers, "But be sure that you don't end up in jail. It won't look good on your Admiral's resume."

"Well it was already on yours and mine the last time we did it." I guess one more won't harm!"

Jean-Luc rolls his eyes. He always was the party pooper.

He won't be invited!


Linda said...

Really, Captain, you need to learn to relax a bit more!

The Curmudgeon said...

It's so tough being an Admiral in Star Fleet, always getting taken over by mind-eating parasites or getting swept up in other traitorous conspiracies. Kathryn might be well-advised to get pissed, get pinched, and busted back to Captain before anything really bad happens to her.

Hasn't she suffered enough?

Michael Manning said...

An amusing read upon MY return to your site, Captain! ;)