Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Waiting On Tables

Guest Poster: Lieutenant Britney 

"I'll have a double chocolate sundae and Will here will have a coffee and donut." Deanna Troi tells me as they sit in Ten Forward.

I am the waitress taking the orders today. The reason that came around is when a crewman said something insulting about me and T'Pol. I subsequently poured all my coffee over him. The crewman was reprimanded, of course, but Captain Picard thought that I can't just go around pouring drinks, so he made the punishment fit the crime, and I am helping Guinan for a week.

"Get a move on, Britney!"Guinan calls out, "You are without doubt, the slowest, most accident prone waitress I've ever had under my charge. In the few days you've been here, you've already broken more plates than a Greek restaurant on New Year's Eve."

I manage to carry Deanna's chocolate sundae to her without dropping it into her lap. It's a pity I had to do it with Captain Picard's cup of Earl Grey tea. It was boiling hot as well...

"Can I take your order please, miss?" I routinely ask the next customer before I realise it is my girlfriend, T'Pol, who smiles it me.

 "I'll have a kiss, followed by a Colombian coffee, you gorgeous looking waitress." she says with a smile.

I duly oblige with the first request, then go to get coffee. I bring it back without a hitch, and as it's my break, I sit with T'Pol to talk with her.

"How are you going with the waitressing, Brit?" she asks.

"It's not too much fun." I answer, "The replicators are going at full tilt making copies all all the plates I break."

"Hello babe, give us a kiss." says a tough crewman to T'Pol, when he walked up to us, then adds, "Oh, I forgot, you like the girls, don't you?"

T'Pol rolls her eyes then pours her Colombian coffee all over him.

"Can you get me another coffee please, Brit?" she asks, "I seem to have spilt mine."

"I think you'll be joining me as a waitress for a week, sweetie."


The Curmudgeon said...

Oh my. I'm afraid Guinan's going to have more help than she needs.

Or wants.

The poor replicators.

Michael Manning said...

Quite dramatic service!

Linda said...

Apparently waiting tables is not a talent that either of the girls possess, is it? Perhaps next time the punishment will better fit the punishee!

Anonymous said...

Like the new look of the blog, Captain!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

A good tip: don't go to a restaurant with Britney or T'Pol serving, or your meal is likely to end up in your lap!