Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Guinan At The Bar

Guest Poster: Guinan

Anybody who thinks I just serve the drinks on the Enterprise is sadly mistaken. I have to listen to all the sob stories that the people want to give out.

I know what you are thinking. Haven't they got a Counselor to deal with that? Of course they have, but many people feel like pouring out their woes while under the influence of alcohol, rather than lying on the hard surface of Deanna Troi's sofa in her office.

I can't say I blame them. "I don't want to talk to him again."...."He is seeing another woman"...."I think my wife doesn't love mer any more."...."I don't think he wants to marry me."...yes, I've had things like that every night.

The worst thing is when the Counselor herself comes in spouting her problems! She, of all people should know better!

"I'm not sure if Will still loves me, Guinan." she starts, while eating her chocolate drink.

"I'm sure he does." I answer.

"Then why doesn't he put a ring on my hand?" she snaps back, "I want to be a married woman, I want to have children, I want..."

At this stage she bursts into tears, and I hand her a tissue. I tend to carry a box around with me nowadays for occasions such as these.

"Deanna." I say, consoling her, "He has an important role right now."

"You mean I'm secondary, and I'll never get married until he leaves Starfleet?" she wails.

Ooops. Wrong turning there.

"Not at all." I say quickly, "Hell soon be Captain of another ship, "Then he'll want to take you there as his new wife."

"You...you think so." she sniffs.

"Of course." I lie.

Deanna walks off, having ate her ice cream and satisfied with my answer.

Will Riker comes in ten minutes later.

"Guinan." he asks, "Have you seen Deanna?"

"Yes, she was having an ice cream here ten minutes ago." I say, not mentioned what she and I were talking about.

"Is she all right?" he asks, "She has seemed a little distant lately."

"Deanna will be all right." I tell him, "Get her a nice necklace and tell her that you are looking in the Starfleet Vacancies column in the Galactic Gazette. It might cheer her up."

Riker looks puzzled, but agrees, leaving Ten Forward.

Time to clean the bar before the next lot of problems arrive!


The Curmudgeon said...

Will, being male, will understand Guinan's recommendations as follows: Deanna just wants him to transfer away from the ship, but she first wants a parting gift.

Spacerguy said...

Tell Will to get Deanna some Chocolate sundae icecream and he'll steal his way into her heart, LOL.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I think the Curmudgeon has it right.