Sunday, September 27, 2009

Preparing For The Enterprise Christmas Party

I gather the Senior Staff in the Ready Room for the latest briefing.

"Staff." I announce, "We have had an announcement from Starfleet that me must cut back on the expendure we lay out for the annual Christmas Party."

A collective groan raises up from everybody there.

"What's it to do with them?" Jadzia protests, "You can be sure they won't be cutting out on anything as the Admirals go on the party circuit on Earth"

A collective sound of agreement with Jadzia comes from around the table.

"That's not all." I continue, "Starfleet are somewhat reluctant to let people from the 21st Century visit the party as we have done in the past. They feel there is a possibilty that it could affect the timeline."

"That's not true." Bev comments, "We haven't noticed anything, and they have all agreed not to tell anyone of their visit when they get home."

"I agree." I tell her, "We'll invite them and hope Starfleet turn a blind eye. We might get in trouble for expenditure, but the Christmas Party comes first!"

Everybody cheers.
"Lastly." I say, "They are not keen to let people like the Borg Queen attend."

At this, Seven of Nine gets very angry.

"That is not a good idea, Locutus." she tells me firmly, "The Borg Queen considers the Party one of the highlights of her calendar year, and will most likely assimilate someone out of pique if she doesn't get an invitation."

This leaves me somewhat stymed.

"Very well." I say, "She can come."

"Affirmative, Locutus." Seven replies, "I'm sure the Queen is already selecting her hat and party dress."

"Where are we going to have the Party this year, Captain?" asks Riker, "Last year it was a holoderck replica of a Borg cube."

This leaves me slightly puzzled, so I ask around the table for ideas. Bev comes up with a suggestion.

"Wes and Karena's ship, the USS Rhode Island are going to Karena's home planet Wondawowman for their Christmas Party. Why don't we all join them there? The amazons said they will host everything for them."

Nods of approval go around.

"What about the men on our ships?" I ask, "Will the amazons serve them? I know they see men as lesser beings."

"They had agreed to serve the men as well." Bev answers, "As long as the men don't ask for specific items."

Bev goes out and returns ten minutes later.

"It's on." she tells us, "The Wondawowman amazons will host both ships' parties in the first full week of December.."

I feel slightly apprehensive; it means that us men have got to watch what we say and do. If I ask Queen Diana for a dance, she'll be insulted! She has to ask.

I think I'd rather dance with the Borg Queen than the Amazonian Queen!


Editor's Note:

For those readers unaware, the Enterprise Christmas Party consists of readers of this Journal sending in their entries of what happened to them from their viewpoint when at the Christmas Party. A Formal Invite will go out in the near future.

Here are a couple of examples:


Also, the meme that used to appear here on Monday or Tuesday will now appear on my new sister blog Captain Picard's Meme Holodeck.


rashbre said...

sounds like a plan ;-)

pilgrimchick said...

Planet Wondawoman, complete with Amazons. Fabulous!


:-) Sounds fun. Glad you give people a lot of time to think about what they will write. As I type this, there are 88 days (and 1 hour) until Christmas. Netchick sent me. :-)

Captain Erika Hernandez said...

Ha! Even Starfleet is feeling the recession!
Oh dear. The party is going to be...interesting. Especially with Commander Hathaway trying to get in every girl's pants...I see a lot of bruises for him in the near future.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Erika, I think Commander Hathaway would be advised not to do that, as all the amazons have sharp spears!

BB, PilgrimChick, all contributions welcome!

Lahdeedah said...

Um, it's September!

It is WAY too early to start planning the christmas party!

There's still halloween. And Thanksgiving. At this rate, soon, you'll start planning it in July!

Tor Hershman said...

Greetings from moi in the universe where Spock will have a beard.

It is good to see that in your universe C. H. Ristmas (InvenTOR of the quantum corridor flux retretamore) is celebrated; here he will be flippin' burgers and invent nothing.

Stay on groovin' safari,

The Mistress of the Dark said...

getting ready for Christmas already?!

The Curmudgeon said...

Wondawoman, eh? I promise not to blab and change the timeline... but can I promise to survive such a party?

Tom said...

Entertaining topic ya got here. Recession spans the universe and now Christmas suffers. :( I'm all for the Wonder Woman thing.

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