Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Artificial Life Forms Convention (Part Two)



Guest Poster: Data

The Doctor is still looking annoyed that his holographic opposite number on the USS Rhode Island chooses to call himself 'Ted' and is a very different personality. Ted informs us that he like soft music and heavy metal, much to the disgust of our Doctor.

The doctors, plus myself, Grell, Vic Fontaine and Seven of Nine are all at the Artificial Life Forms Convention. No carbon based units are allowed. Seven only managed to get in when she disconnected the robot guard.

--------

"There are humans over there." I point out, ""I thought they were not allowed."

"Yes." deduces the Doctor, "They are only employed as servants, to wash the tables and deliver things." I see that the Doctor has a very smug expression when he says that, as if that is the way it is meant to be.

"Hey" says Vic, "What's that going on over there. It looks like a beauty pageant. I should have been compering that."

We all walk over. The robot compere is just about to announce the winner.

"Fellow beings." he announces, "I will now be announcing the result of this years Best Female Artificial Life Form."



"Why was I not told about this?" complains Seven, "I would have won this event easily. Had I not, I would have disconnected the Judges."

I am about to remind Seven that she is not completely an artificial life form and that part of her is human, but refrain as she might switch me off.

The compere continues.

"The Winner is a Miss...Six!"



A blonde woman in a figure-hugging transparent red dress marches on to the stage, looking very pleased with her win.

"Wow!" comments Vic Fontaine, "Is she really an artificial life form? I wouldn't have known."

---------

Ten minutes later, Six is walking around, clutching her trophy. Seven marches up to her.

"You look human to me!" Seven says aggressively, "What are you?"

"I'm a Cylon." Six explains, "We are ultra-sophisticated copies of the human species, unlike the crude joining up of carbon and cyborg elements that the Borg practice."

"We are Borg!" shouts Seven, "Resistance is futile."

"Keep on thinking that, Borg drone." warns Six, "While all the time, the Cylons are working away, taking what is yours."

Seven goes purple with rage, and we all have to restrain her. Then Six sees me.

"Now YOU are far more interesting." she says, "Who and what are you?"

I explain that I am Data, an android created by Dr Noonian Soong.



"Fascinating." comments Six, "You really must come back with me, as you would be an interesting companion to have."

"I must decline." I reply, "I am a Starfleet Officer and have a human girlfriend by the name of Jennifer Baxter."

"A human!" Six exclaims, "You are a traitor to the life form you are. I will see that you come with me in good time."

Six marches off.

"That was scary." Vic comments, "I think we might have a bit of trouble with Six and the Cylons."

"The Borg will annihilate them!" Seven says confidentally.

"Don't be too sure, sweetie." Doctor Ted tells her, "We haven't heard the last of her."

With that, the Convention starts to draw to a close, all of us leave, most of us with more concern then when we came in.

36 comments:

  1. It sounds like Six and the Cylons have numbered days ahead of them if the Borg is out for them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh dear ... this has bad written all over it and I'm sure we'll be hearing from Six and the Cylons again before too long.

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  3. I hate it when these social conventions turn unexpectedly political, don't you?

    But I have to admit... Cylons the next generation are a giant improvement over their predecessors on the original Battlestar Galactica (or, as we called it at my house, in honor of its star, Battlestar Ponderosa).

    ReplyDelete
  4. Miss 6 is really something.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh yeah, she's trouble.

    I hear there's a virus that can wipe all the Cylons out, though. Use that if you have to...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jon, thanks for the tip. As you have all said, Six and the Cylons look BIG trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous18:57

    Woo-hoo. Star Trek AND Battlestar Galactica? What more can one ask for?
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous17:16

    If I didn't know better, I'd say they've all spent a little too much time with the Klingons lately.

    Baltar will know what to do. Is he, like in BSG, the sole exception to this hardware party?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous20:51

    It was very interesting for me to read that blog. Thank author for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.

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  10. Anonymous01:30

    Rather nice place you've got here. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to them. BTW, try to add some pics :).

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  11. Anonymous21:13

    Мне вот кажется, что такое написать мог то ли креативный гений, то ли героиновый наркоман :(

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  12. Anonymous20:46

    У нас в Дагестане за такие слова могут и камням изакидать :(

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  13. Anonymous13:32

    Не очень люблю такие тексты %:(

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  14. Anonymous03:36

    В Вашей RSS нельзя получать полные тексты записей, что ли?

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  15. Anonymous15:05

    Логотип мне нравится:)

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  16. Anonymous15:57

    It was specially registered at a forum to participate in discussion of this question.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous03:42

    У Вас долго загружается блог - видимо, хостинг плоховат

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  18. Anonymous17:04

    Об этом уже писал кто-то из моих ЖЖ-френдов :(

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  19. Anonymous02:06

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    Вы продаете сквозные ссылки с сайта? Если да, свяжитесь со мной, плз!

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  20. Anonymous23:32

    На словах ты Лев Толстой, а не деле ... простой!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous02:34

    На словах ты Лев Толстой, а не деле ... простой!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous17:08

    А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

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  23. Anonymous18:02

    А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

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  24. Anonymous19:05

    А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

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  25. Anonymous19:53

    А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

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  26. Anonymous21:55

    А сегодня день архивного работника. У вас на сайте есть "Архив"? Можете праздновать! :))

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous04:01

    У нас в жж за такой пост бы закидали какашками в каментах:)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous03:19

    Willingly I accept. The theme is interesting, I will take part in discussion. I know, that together we can come to a right answer.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous19:41

    Подскажите, а у вас сквозную ссылку купить можно? Если да, сообщите цену на мыло, пожалуйста?

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  30. Anonymous02:19

    Хорошая статья. Действительно было интересно почитать. Не часто такое и встречается та.Наверное стоит подписаться на ваше RSS

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  31. hey hello everybody!!1 very interesting blog about The Artificial Life Forms Convention (Part Two) thanks for sharing!!

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