Thursday, August 10, 2006

Sent To The Enterprise

I'm in trouble again.

Just because I had a little bit of fun with a planetary system, making time go backward then forward for them every couple of hours.

They didn't know if they were coming or going!

Those in the Q Continuum have absolutely no sense of humour. I'd say to them ,"Get a life!", but of course, the beings that we are, we don't exist that way.

I'm in front of the Disciplinary Panel; I think I've been here quite often.

"It simply won't do, Q" Q tells me, "We in the Continuum have a sense of responsibility to those lesser creatures that inhabit the universe"

"I was only having a laugh" I tell him.

"You may well call it 'having a laugh', but we take it seriously" Q replies indignantly, "The human Picard has a strong sense of discipline; you will be sent to the Enterprise for 24 hours and ordered to do what he says, otherwise you will be stripped of your powers."

I contain my glee; a day with Jean-Luc is ideal!


I appear in front of Jean-Luc as he is on the Bridge.

"What do you want, Q?" he says somewhat aggressively. The Captain is never very welcoming.

"Q reporting for duty, mon Captain!" I exclaim.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he replies.

I explain the situation, and Jean-Luc smiles to himself. Riker and all the other bridge staff join in the laugh as well.

"It doesn't surprise me that you got into trouble, Q" he says, "You're so irresponsible. Very well, you shall do exactly what I tell you to do for the next 24 hours."

"I'll do any menial job, Jean-Luc" I tell him, "I'll even do Riker's job. I'm sure he would rather be with Counselor Troi."

Riker looks angry, and Deanna looks red-faced.

"You're not having my job, Q" Riker snaps at me.

"Ah, what a pity, Commander." I tell him, "I think you've disappointed Deanna."

"I know what you can do, Q" Jean-Luc, "You can go and help someone."

"Who might that be?" I ask, "Is it the delightful Beverly?"

"NO!" he shouts, "You can help Guinan in Ten Forward and serve drinks."

"Not her!" I exclaim, "Captain, I've told you before, she is a dangerous imp and will only cause trouble if.."

"I know who causes trouble around here" he replies, "Now go to Ten Forward!"


When I get there, Guinan is laughing away to herself. She would. She always did when she got the better of me in the past.

"Now listen here, Q" she tells me, "These orders are coming from Captain Picard; you will not use your powers in any way to serve the drinks or the food. You will do it just as any other normal waiter would. Now get to it!"

I mumble a few Q expletives only found in the Continuum and start serving.

I hear a finger snapping and a voice.


It's Riker, with Troi.

They have both got wide grins on their faces as they get me running backward and forward. On one occasion I fall over with the drinks.

"That's coming out of the tips you get!" Guinan tells me. That would be a fine thing; no one gives me any. They are all so ungrateful here on the Enterprise.

During the next 24 hours, I am run off my feet, with members of the Bridge coming in wanting a Chocolate Sundae, Tequila Slammer, Screwdriver and a Klingon Bloodwine. I think Jean-Luc has sent them all down here and got me to serve them. I've noticed that all of the other waiters have left from their shifts early.

At last, the day is over; Jean-Luc comes to me and smiles.

"Well Q" he says with a grin, "I hope you've enjoyed our visit to the Enterprise. Remember to watch your step, otherwise the Continuum could have you working in Ten Forward for good."

Not if I can help it.


Anonymous said...

Chin up Q. It could have been worse. The Captain could have assigned you to sweep up after Mr Mot. And listen to him. Or even join Lt. Worf in dramatising a Klingon opera, all without using your powers to aid or gag people.

I'd pick Ten Forward anyday.

The Curmudgeon said...

Of course, if Q had been assigned to sweep up after Mr. Mot had given a haircut to the Captain, that wouldn't be so hard, would it?

I'm not surprised that Q received no tips -- since all of you in the 24th Century (except for the Ferengi and now the Daranians) have progressed beyond the need for money -- but I am surprised that Worf didn't go in for prune juice.

I thought he considered that a true "warrior's drink." (Certainly it wreaks havoc on all who dare try it, but that's a different story....)

Renee said...

So the other waiters disapeared huh? I bet the Captain had something to do with that. He's got a mean streak at times it seems.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Q Q Q Q Q...

Merlyn said...

Lord Vader is gong to be very cross...This will be the second keyboard I have requested replaced due to the spitting of a drink all over it from laughing so hard!

I adore Q... he can come any play in our sandbox any day, I am sure that Q and the Emperor would have fun together!

Jim McKee said...

If Q were permanently assigned to Ten Forward, they'd have to re-name it Coyote Butt-Ugly!!!


A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Q is the standard bully. Like to giv eeveryone a difficult time when he has the power, then say "Just kidding!" You should have made him clean the torpedo tube and tehn shot his @$$ into space.

aug said...

go a little easy on him. waiting tables is not as easy as it sounds (or looks)!

Melody Lam said...

Oh, Q. Some menial work is good for the soul. At least Picard didn't ask you to scrub the toilets.

Jaime said...

Oh, Q!!!! I have MISSED you!!!!

I imagine you'll have a great deal of fun plotting your revenge like you did with the Calamarain. Bring Vash back, or Sisko, or even Captain Janeway! But not your wife....she's annoying, and really, she was far better as a Klingon. Actually, wasn't she Worf's mate? (Ouch...that has to hurt.)

You could always ask Jean-Luc to babysit your son for you.

Florence Forrest said...

If Q is ever sent back for a second round, send him to help The Doctor (the hologram) on the night shift. Now that would have to hurt. lol

November Rain said...

he is like a child this q LOl

Paperback Writer said...

Sorry Q, but I had a good laugh over your day. :)

Miss Cellania said...

You know these characters SO well. I love Q!

Tigersan said...

Me hopes you didn't put your finger in any of the drinks ;)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You seem very divided in your opinions over Q. Some love him, and others have suggested far more menial jobs. Working for Mr Mot, cleaning out torpedo tubes, assisting the holographic doctor are FAR more menial. He was lucky to being a waiter.

Merlyn, Lord Vader won't be happy at you using up these keyboards.

Merlyn said...

no he won't but you know Captain, he's never happy so..*shrug* who cares!!!???

Paste said...

Here from Michele's and that all went way over my head I'm afraid????????

Tia said...

I'll have a Northern Light, please!

Hello from Michele!

Robin said...

Q was definitely my favorite character on TNG...he reminded me of several mischievous people I knew over the years. Cool story :)

Professor Xavier said...

If you get Q to say his name backwards, does he automatically get sent back to his home dimesion for a year?

dragonflyfilly said...

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH, this has got to one of the best posts yet...who doesn't love bad-boy Q? --- he is such a devil -- and i think we all have a little of him in us ourselves! oh, and speaking of drinks, i have "discovered" an awesome one myself, having nothing in the house except a wee bit of Tequila, about an ounce of Vodka, and a sample of Soho liquer, i mixed it all with a bit of apple juice and green lime and lots of ice, hmmmmmmm, delish!

well, just wanted to pop by before i go "into retreat" for the day.

cheers "Mon Capitain"!!!

that is very funny professor, but a year in who's time?


Jean-Luc Picard said...

That's reue Dragonflyfilly, Ptofessor. Those in the Q Continuum have no concept of time, so it wouldn't help if I could make Q say his name backwards.

The Aunt said...

I would have had him mucking out the Holodeck after a Klingon party.

Q has never been my cup of T.

RainbowCatcher said...

What, no Q-tips?

Anonymous said...

Ah, Q, my favorite. I could picture it all. :)

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