Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Christmas Party Planning

With the senior staff all gathered in my Ready Room, we are all assembled for the most important meeting of the year. To discuss plans for the Enterprise Christmas Party.

"Would anyone like to put their suggestions to where it should be held this year?" I ask. This is a neat way of passing the buck to the others as I haven't an idea myself.

"Definitely not in a gay bar like we did last year!" Worf gruffly barks out.

"Why not!!" yell out Lieutenant Britney and her girlfriend T'Pol almost together.

"I was approached by a young man named Nigel." answers a reddening Worf, as his wife Jadzia laughs next to him, "He suggested that I go outside and see his phaser gun. Naturally, I declined, but he still occasionally sends me messages."

Somehow, I resist the urge to laugh out loud, and see Annika Hansen is about to stand. I wonder which consiousness is dominating her?

"It must take place in a Borg Cube or at the very least a holographic representation of it ." she answers in her firm Seven voice, "The Borg Queen will expect an invitation, so it is rightful you maker her seem at home, especially as we Borg have extended a truce..."

She stops, sits down and starts talking to herself. It's clear that her Annika consiousness is having a few things to say about her suggestions.

"Can't we just have it in a holographic night club?" Will Riker suggests, "After all, it is the Enterprise Christmas Party. Visitors will just have to accept it the way it is."

"I agree, Will." pipes up Deanna, plus a few other individuals.

"Very well." I decide, "We will have the party on Monday 5th November in a holographic nightclub."

"The Queen will not like this." mumbles Annika in her Seven voice.

"Yes she will, Seven." I retort, "I think the Borg Queen knows how to enjoy a party a lot more than you do. If you don't like it, loosen up and let Annika enjoy it. This will be her first Enterprise Christmas Party."

Seven goes out in a huff.

I'm sure I'm sowing the seeds for more Party disasters.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Betazoid Conference (Part Four)

Editor's Note:

Apologies again. This should have been in last week. Blogger are playing up.

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

I've got a bad telepathic feeling about what is happening outside the conference hall.

All of the delegates are in total silence, but the room is still abuzz with speeches, as it is all done telephathically. It's like tuning in to a radio with lots of stations going on at the same time. The trouble is, my mind is tuned to another station outside.

It involves Will Riker and Lynne Shelloi, who was my deadly rival as a teenager. She stole all my boyfriends from me at the time, and looks set to do the same with Will.

Not if I can help it. I shuffle off from the back of the hall just as the delegates are going to have a vote on what will be the Protected Bird of Betazoid, the Woody Wood Pigeon, or the Fanta Orangebird.

Emerging into the daylight, I go towards the pool and find Will is not there. I grab the lifeguard, threatening to throttle him until he tells me he went a walk with a 'blonde girl'.

Using my mind to hone in, I start to get nearer, and feel the voices.

"Do you want to come to my apartment, Will?"

"I really can't, Lynne."

Good. That's saved Will from getting two black eyes at least.

Eventually, I come upon them.

"Ah, there you are, Deanna," smiles Lynne, "I knew you were following us. Your telepathy is pretty good in managing to locate us, despite only being a half Betazoid."

"Stay away from us, Lynne." I warn her, "I'm not that weak Betazoid you used as a doormat when we were teenagers."

"From what I heard about you and men, you had 'Welcome' printed on you, my little doormat!" retorts Lynne.

I blow a fuse, and the two of us go into a catfight, with Will standing a discreet distance away. We pull at each other's hair, then kick and scratch. Eventually, we grapple and roll over. I bash her head against the ground underneath.

I'm about to deal the winning blow...at least I think I am...when three security officers come and separate us. The one in charge tells Lynne and I that we can either both go to jail or be expelled from the planet the conference is held at.

"Well the conference is pretty boring." I decide, "So I'm off. Come on, Will."

Lynne gets up, tends to the scratches on her body and starts to go off to her ship, which is in a different direction.

"Beware, Deanna." she telepathically tells me, "I'll get my hands on Will sometime when you're not around. You'd better keep a close eye on him."

I ignore here warning and march off, holding Will tightly, but with a grain of worry at the back of my mind.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

TWQ: New Gadgets You Would Not Buy

TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks about new gadgets you would not consider buying.

With the new inventions on the market,  which would you not consider buying and why? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* 3D television (just a passing gimmick)
* e-book (I like the feel of a real book, rather than reading a screen)
* iPad (with a computer and a cell phone, I don't need one.

Now it's over to you...

Monday, November 07, 2011

The Betazoid Conference (Part Three)

Editor's Note:

This was meant to be in last week, but Blogger changed it to draft!

Guest Poster: Will Riker

Deanna has just been rushed into the Betazoid Conference, but warned me before of Lynne Shelloi, a notorious maneater from her teenage years who used to steal all her boyfriends. Lynne has been seen here.

Personally, I think Deanna is overreacting over what happened years ago. Anyway, I'll be wary. Right now I'm going to lounge by the pool.


I'm now by the sunbed, wearing my shades, outfit, and drinking a pina colada and eating a donut while we all have a good time. It's great to get a chance to catch the rays.

Suddenly, a shadow looms over my body.

"Well, if it isn't Will Riker!"

The alarm bells start ringing as I see the shape, figure and face of Lynne Shelloi. It's like the Enterprise going on to red alert.

"Errr...hello Lynne..." I stutter.

"Now don't be alarmed, Will." she laughs, "I'm not going to ravish you....unless you want me too! Deanna has been spreading a few untruths about me. Her ex-boyfriends used to say that she put therm off her, and came to me instead. Say...do you want a donut?"

My eyes light up when she gives me the donut. "I love them." she tells me, "I can see you do too. I bet Deanna tells you off and says something like they are too fattening. Well I say, you only live once, so enjoy it as much as possible."

I have to agree with her there.

"The Conference will be on for a good few hours yet." Lynne tells me, "Shall we go for a walk around until then?"

"Well...I" I say hesitantly.

"Go on." coaxes Lynne, "You're not shackled to Deanna awaiting her beck and call are you?"

"Certainly not!" I reply indignantly.

"Well, come on then,." Lynne says with a beaming smile, "Let's take that walk."

I get up, and we walk away, Lynne grabbing my hand to hold as we do.

I wonder if I'm doing the right thing?

To be continued after the TWQ......