Saturday, October 29, 2011

TWQ: School Reunions

This weekend, we at TWQ (the Weekend Question) don our school ties and ask about reunions.

What are your experiences of School Reunions? Were they good or bad?

My answers are:

I recently went to a plaque unveiling in which many former pupils were there. I was amazed how much older those around my year looked!

Two younger students asked if I was their teacher!

Tonight (Saturday) I'm going to a massive school reunion.

Now it's over to you....

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Betazoid Conference (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

I pace up and down the hotel carpet floor over and over in the room that Will Riker and I are sharing.

"Relax, Deanna!" Will says, "There is no need to get so tense about everything!"

"You think so?" I exclaim, "We arrive on Faros V for the Betazoid Conference, and who should be here but my greatest rival Lynne Shelloi, who stole all my boyfriends when we were teenagers. She's after you, Will., and she'll get you, I know she will!"

"Now she won't!" Will answers firmly, "You've told me to be on my guard against Lynne Shelloi. She won't get her claws into me. Now you go to the Conference and have a good time while I relax."

I then realise how silly I am.

"You're right, I'm just overreacting after seeing my old rival." I say, "She's probably completely changed. We might end up being friends!"

"That's more like it, Deanna!" Will says, "Now go and enjoy the first Conference while I relax by the pool. Let's hear no more about Lynne Shelloi."

I put on my Conference outfit and get ready to go out.

"Now have a good time while I'm with the other telepaths." I say, then head off toiwards the hall.

As I reach the door, I am greeted by Lynne Shelloi.

"Hello again Deanna." she says in a friendly manner before changing her tone, "Enjoy the Conference. While you're in there, I'll be stealing your man Will Riker. You know I can, as well, don't you?"

The rush of people entering in the Hall prevents me coming out. The officials won't let me out again, as I see Lynne walk away casually in the direction of the hotel pool, where Will is.

To be continued after the TWQ.....

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Betazoid Conference (Part One)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

"Well I don't know why you want me along." protests Will Riker as we travel in a shuttle to Faros V, "After all, this is a Betazoid conference, strictly for members of your mother's race. Chances are I won't hear anything as you'll be talking in telepathy."

"You may well be right, Will." I reply, "But when it comes to the night time, after the conferences, this particular Betazoid isn't going to be stuck for something to do." I giggle saucily, and Will laughs along.

"NOW I know why I'm here." he smiles, "Quite a sound reason if you ask me. your mother going to be there?"

"Don't worry, Will." I reply, "My mother can't attend as she has to attend a wedding of a friend in another sector. She had to go to a spa to get her body in shape, as all weddings are conducted without clothes, even those who are guests."

Will sounds relieved. I can't say I blame him. It means we will have the conferences to ourselves, with no one interfering at night.

"When I was a teenager." I say, "My mother was always checking on my boyfriends. Not that I had them for very long."

"Why not." Will asks, "Did your mother drive them away?"

"No." I confess, "Most of the time, it was another teenage girl by the name of Lynne Shelloi. That girl always stole my boyfriends deliberately. I despised her."

"Forget about her. In that case, here's to a good time on Faros V!" he says, and we kiss.


A few hours later, we land, and are greeted by a Betazoid official.

"Welcome, welcome, Miss Troi." he says telepathically, in an overenthusiastic manner, "I'm sure you will have a great time at the conference." He then realises that Will cannot hear him and talks to him, "We also have plenty of non-conference activities for you, or you can lie by the pool in the sun."

"Well, well, well" says a familar voice in my head, one I had been dreading to hear for years, "If it isn't Deanna Troi!"

I turn round and see the predatory sight of Lynne Shelloi.

"Lynne.." I stutter.

"That's right." she responds telepathically, and looks at Will, " do have a hunk of a man...a non-Betazoid, too."

She then talks to Will.

"Hello, Will Riker." Lynne says, "I found your name by reading your mind. I'm Lynne Shelloi, and am the singer at these confedrences. Providing the entertainment. I'll be seeing a lot of you while I'm here, I'm sure. Bye for now, Deanna and Will."

She winks, and saunters off, doing a provactive walk.

"That woman is trouble." I tell Will.

To be continued...

Saturday, October 22, 2011

TWQ: Christmas Preparations

With a week left of October, thoughts are turning to Christmas. TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks just how much have you thought.

What have you done so far in preparation for Christmas? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Purchased Christmas cards

* Brought presents for overseas friends

*Brought DVD & books for myself

Now it's over to you....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Secont Time Lucky? (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Karena

I'm being plagued by many, not least my own mother, who is Queen Diana, to get pregnant again, as my earlier daughter grew up overnight to a seventeen year old on Tarsus II in a device built by the Doolittles. As a result, she can now talk to animals and is Queen of the Jungle there. My mother, therefore needs another daughter that will eventally sit on her throne.

Wes and I are on our way to the USS Rhode Island SickBay to see Doctor Ted. He can be a bit annoying. Instead of having a liking for opera, such as other EMHs, this one has a bad sense of humour.

"Come in, come in, come in!" he cheerily says, "This is gonna be fun!"

"I would hardly say so!" I retort, giving him a prod with my spear, "Let's get this over."

"All right." Doctor Ted continues, "Lets go into separate rooms and take our clothes off. That doesn't include me of course!"

"Can't we change his programming, pumpkin?" I ask Wesley, "His sense of humour is already driving me spare."

"Just try and put up with him a little while longer, honeybunch." he replies, "All this will be over soon."

"Now then, Wesley." he says, as Wes goes into the other room, "We just need a sample from you. You know what that means? Nudge. Nudge"

Wesley reddens and closes the door, while I remove my clothes behind the screen. "Any leering and you'll find yourself deprogrammed for two months and adquatly replaced by a pop-up toaster! I warn Ted.

I come from behind and lay on the table, Ted managing to keep a straight face.

"Ahh......ummm......interesting." I muses to himself as he prods and takes scans all over.


A few minutes later, Wesley has returned and he and I are ready for his verdict.

Ted turns to Wesley, "The Crusher genes are as strong as ever. You're certainly not firing any blank cartridges down there!"

"Then why aren't I....?." I jump in.

"Who says you're not?" laughs Ted as he smiles at me, "You, Karena, are pregnant again with your second daughter. I know it's a girl because you amazons can only have them."

"But how far....?" I stutter, like someone who has been told something impossible."

"Oh, the date of conception is very recent." Ted answers, "Have you two being 'trying' a lot lately?"

"Yes." Wesley answers, "As soon as every shift ends, we go straight to our quarters and..."

"Wes!" I shout, "I'm sure Doctor Ted doesn't need to know every facet of our love life."

"Of course not." Ted answers, "But it's fun listening!"

I get up and take Wes out. "What's the hurry?" he asks.

"I've got something to tell that mother of mine!" I beam back with a smile.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Second Time Lucky? (Part One)


Guest Poster: Karena

It's been a little lonely on the USS Rhode Island, where my husband Wesley Crusher and I both serve.  Ever since our baby daughter Sheena grew up overnight from a tiny infant to a seventeen year old overnight who can talk to the animals as well as normally. As she elected to stay on the jungle planet, I've missed her over the last few months.

After all, diapers to seventeen, bypassing puberty isn't what I wanted. Some mothers might welcome it. Although my Wesley comforts me, I feel more at home sharpening my spear and winning at target practice.

Wesley enters the room, looking as cheery as ever.

"Hi sweetie." he says with his cheeriness, "Why are you looking so glum?"

"You know why." I say, "I miss my Sheena."

"We both are." he counters, "Well he HAVE been trying for another....and the trying IS fun, isn't it?"

"Yes." I admit, ""But so far, we haven't been successful. Maybe we should get you looked at?"

"There's nothing wrong with me!" exclaims Wesley, "The Crusher family are known for having..."

Before this continues, the sound goes to tell us there is a video signal coming in.

It's my mother, Queen Diana of the planet Wondawowman, planet of the Amazons.

"Greetings, daughter." she says with a smile, "It is so good to see you again, if only on a video screen. I'm calling on a matter of great importance."

"What is it?" I ask, thinking there must be a revolution at the palace there.

"You must have a baby!" my mother ueges, "Darling daughter, though Sheena was chosen to be future Queen of the Amazons, we can no longer be certain that she will she to be so. Right now, she is Queen of the Jungle on Tarsus II and will wish to remain so. You and Wesley must try for another so that Wondawowman has a leader in years to come. There could be a crisis otherwise."

"Mother." I say, reddening slightly, "Wes and I have err....being doing as you asked, but far no results."

"Well he'll have to do better!" my mother snaps, and switches off the viewer.

"I think we are going to have to see the Doctor." I tell Wes. We get up, and I grab my spear.

To be continued.....

Saturday, October 15, 2011

TWQ: Really Hard Questions

This week, TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks a series of really hard quiz questions. Don't try to look them up, but see how many you get right. I'll publish the answers in two or three days..

How many can YOU answer?

1: In Jules Verne's "from Earth to the Moon" 3 men are blasted to the moon by cannon. Their speed of departure has proven to be the earth's escape velocity. What is it?   7 miles a second

2: Why was the novel 'Fahrenheit 451' by Ray Bradbury so named? The temperature at which book paper burns.

3: What is the number of Fox Mulder's apartment in The X Files42

4: Will Smith played the part of Steven Hiller in the film 'Independence Day'. What was his codename? Eagle

5: What was Mickey Mouse's original name?  Mortimer Mouse

6: Acid rain is composed mainly of the oxides of two elements. Give either. suphere or nitrogen

7: What name is given to the negative electrode of an electrolytic cell? Cathode

8: In mythology what was Minerva the Goddess of?  Wisdom

9: Who invented the lift/elevator in 1853? Elisha Otis

10:Which country produces 70% of the world's olive oil?  Greece

Good Luck!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Journal Under Attack! (Part Two)

Captain's supplemental:

I'm still angrily writing my Journal with a bit of paper and a pencil after my Journal was deleted by Starfleet robots who decreed that my writings were a Spam Journal. I've filled in the appeal, but have heard nothing yet.


"You've got to calm down, Captain." Deanna Troi urges me, "All the angry stomping around isn't doing you any good."

"It must be a plot by some rogue member of the Borg." I grumble, "Only they could come up with something like this."

"No need to get paranoid." the counselor tells me as she consumes her third chocolate milk shake, "It's just simple computer error that will be rectified as soon as possible."

"Your wouldn't if it was YOUR Journal!" I snap back, drumming my fingers.

Bev comes in and sighs when she looks at me.

"Is Jean-Luc still giving you problems?" she says to Deanna, "I tell you he's been impossible to live with the last few days. It's like a child has taken away his favourite toy."

I'm avbout to complain about Bev's remark, when my computer flashes on, with a myriad of lights and letters. When it finally settles down, a notice is visible...

Dear Mr Picard.

Your Starfleet Journal was removed from circulation some days ago as our robots incorrectly identified it as a spam journal. Upon further investigation, we have found that this is not the case and have restored it to the computer system. We do hope you realise that we need to be vigilant, and we apologise for any inconvenience that may have happened....

On the Journal (not a bit of paper)

"Well that turned out all right in the end." Deanna says in her cheery self, "Now you have your Journal back."

"Are you kidding?" I rertort, "They 'apologise for any inconvenience' while the Captain of a Galaxy-class starship has been deprived of his Journal for the past few days. We could have been invaded over the last few days and Starfleet would not have an official record of the event."

"But we weren't." answers Deanna, "Things have been very dull over the last few vdays. The most exciting thing was that Guinan had formulated a new cocktail for the crew to try in Ten Forward."

"That's not the point." I continue to moan as we three leave the room.

Still, it's good to have my Journal back!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Journal Under Attack! (Part One)

Now that my 1200th post has been written, I can go onwards. Time to discover new wonders of the universe, save the earth from certain doom and sort out the complicated love lives of my crew.

I must admit that composing this Journal is one of the perks of being a Captain. It providses a valuable record for others in the years to come of how enlightened we are  in the 24th century and how.......

Beeep!!!  Beeep!

ATTENTION: This Journal has been closed down as Starfleet automatic robots have deemed it a Spam Journal. Please reapply if you wish to have it reinstated otherwise we will disintegrate it for all time.


Captain's Supplemental:

I'm having to log this the old fashioned way; with a bit of scrap paper and a pencil.....

What's going on? How dare they call my Journal spam! I've won awards and put a lot of my own effort into it for the last six years!  I'll sue them,,,,I'll....


"What are you doing, Captain?" asks Deanna, who has just walked in, "Why are you banging your forehead against the table."

I tell her all that has happened.

"Never mind." the counselor cheerily says, "You can always borrow mine."

"I don't want to do that!" I snap back, "The Captain's Journal is for me to use, and not to be deleted by a machine who thinks it is spam!"

"Don't let it get to you." advises the Betazoid, "Just fill in the application details to get it reinstated, Wait patently, and it will all be restored."

I do as she asks and fill it out. Deanna takes a look at it first.

"Very good, Captain." she muses, as she looks over it, "However, I think you should withdraw the sentence that says "If I don't get my Journal back soon, I'm going to pull your tonsils out with my hand." It does sound a little threatening, don't you think?"

Regretfully, I do so.

"That's much better." Deanna says with a smile. "Now just send it off and all will be restored."

I press the button and submit the application for reinstatement.

I'd better not wait long!

To be continued.......

Saturday, October 08, 2011

TWQ: Regretted Buying

Now that we are back after that enforced deletion, TWQ (the Weekend Question) can get bavck to business. This week, we look at items you have regretted buying.

What items have you regretted buying? What did you do with them afterwards? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Inlaid wood chess/games table (exchanged the day after for a super writing desk)

* The Time Traveller's Wife novel. (lies somewhere in a box unfinished)

* Expensive computer course (never followed it)

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

1200th Post!!

Editors Note:

My apologies for being absent the last two weeks when the 1200th post was due to come on. Blogger robots incorrectly identified this Journal as a spam blog and deactivated it. I had to appeal to have it properly checked, and was only reinstated today. Without further ado...



Yes, after a huge amount of problems with alien invasions, but mainly witrh awkward people, this Journal has made it to it's 1200th post.

Don't ask me how it's made it. I would have thougfht it would fall over as soon as it started walking! (ho ho!)

Sorry about the humour, friends, but I had to have a little smile there.

"It wasn't exactly funny, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me, who is sitting next to me as I record this.

"Well, I don't know about that." I reply in defence.

"Don't be ridiculous," she laughs, "I've always been sharper and the one who has kept this Journal going. After all, who would want to listen to you if there wasn't a good-looking woman involved with the main character.?"

"I dispute that." I answer, "This is a record of my tenure as Captain of the Enterprise. The others are supporting players who...."

"That is negative." answer a soft female voice from the door. The Borg Queen, who was visiting, walks up to me.

"I agree with Beverly." Queenie comments, your Journal records require that you have a full-bloodied woman by your side. The only discepancy is that it should be me and not a redhead."

"Queenie!" snaps an indignant Bev, "Don't you have a Cube to catch?"

"In a few moments, my dear." she answers, "Clean out a few bedpans while I chat privately to Jean-Luc, here."

"Jean-Luc!" says another female voice from the door, "Are these two women leaving the room? I need to discuss when we can meet in a discreet place."

Natalia, the Deltan Ambassador, who is bald and has endless legs steps into view.

"The ship is just ferrying me to the next planet." she tells me, so I thought I would just have time to..."

I sigh.

"Who are you?" Queenie asks.

"I am Natalia, Captain Picard's Woman." she answers plainly.

"Well THAT is who I am!" the Borg Queen replies.

"You two can get to the back of the queue." Bev reminds them, "Jean-Luc will tell you that I am his Woman and always will be!"

The Video Screen comes on.

"Hiya Johnny!" Toots yells out, "I bribed a guard...don't ask give me some videotime so I can wish you a happy 1200th post. When you're ready to bust me out of the pen, send me a message in a cake, and we can go on the lam together."

I cringe and take a stress pill.

"Hey Johnny." Toots continues, "Who are the floozies with you? I recognise the redhead, but that metallic one ain't gonna win many guys, and the bald dame looks like she was on a Vegas street somewhere."

At this, a furious row row ensues between the four of them. I decide the best course of action is a tactical withdrawal to let them fight it out.

I quietly exit from the room, hearing high-pitched screaming behind me.

What happened to my intentions of putting together a milestone 1200th post?

Ah, well, better luck another time.


Editor's Note.

This marks the 1200th Post of Captain Picard's Journal. Many thanks to all those who have read over the years, and I have picked up along the way!