Wednesday, June 29, 2011

T'Pol & Britney On Risa (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Lieutenant Britney

Having sneaked through Customs in disguise, my girlfriend T'Pol and I are now on Risa the pleasure planet for our vacation. We had been banned from visiting there again after the rowdiness we caused on ouir last visit. People can be such spoilsports at times!


"Now we have got trhrough." I say cheerily to T'Pol, "It's bikinis on, and raucous parties from now on!"

"Not so fast, Brit." T'Pol warns me, "We still have to check in at the hotel, so let's keep our disguises on a while longer and check in with our false names."

After a taxi ride that takes us past the same landmarks at least three times, we arrive at our destination, the Hotel Paradiso. The porter takes our cases to the reception area. When he has completed this, he discreetly holds his hand out. I reach out and shake it, saying "Thanks very much.".

The porter stalks off, mumbling somthing unprintable. We turn to the hotel receptionist.

He looks at us both suspiciously.

"Why are you wearing dark glasses?" he asks, "I can't see your faces."

"It's sunny outside, d'oh!" I exclaim, "Why else would anyone wear dark glasses?"

The receptionist glumly has to accept this answer, "Welcome to the Hotel Paradiso, Ms Baxter and Ms Crusher. I hope you haver a pleasant stay. May I remind you that neither the hotel nor Risa itself tolerates any rowdiness? Two women some time ago were banned from ever setting foot on this planet. I wouldn't want you to join the blacklist."

"We've got the message." T'Pol quickly says, and we go up to our room. When we get there, we see the stupendous view.

suraya bay risa

"Suraya Bay looks fantastic, Brit."  T'Pol tells me as we hug, "I'm glad now you persuaded me to come, despite the elaborate things we had to do to get here."

"Let's get down there!" I enthuse, "Maybe it's a nudist beach! That would be great fun!"

"Brit!"  my Vulcan girlfriend tells me, "We want to stay here and have a good time, and not bring ourselves to attention at all. We can't go to a nudist beach. People would recognise us right away, especially after the incident in the hotel foyer that got us barred from the planet."

"Sorry." I say, "Bikinis it is."

About half an hour later, we are on Suraya Bay beach.

My dark glasses serve the dual purpose of keeping the sun out and keeping the security police away..

We go and get some ice cream and find a good place to lie in the sun. Eventually, we find a quiet little place by the rocks.

"Hello T'Pol! Hello Britney!" says a familiar voice, "What are you doing here"

Looking at us from her beach chair is Deanna Troi.

To be continued after the TWQ.....

Monday, June 27, 2011

T'Pol & Britney On Risa (Part One)

Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol

"So where are we going for our annual vacation this year, sweetie?" Britney asks me as we lie in bed.

"I don't know, Brit." I reply, "Is there anythere in the galaxy that hasn't banned us due to our rowdy behaviour?"

"Then that should make the choosing easier." laughs the Deltan, "Howsabout if we go to Risa?"

I sigh, "That is the first planet that ever banned us; they put a warning out to all the other planets not to let us on."

"Maybe they've forgotten about us?" Britney offers, "We could always go in dark glasses."

As my girlfriend seems keen on going, I agree, although warn her that we may not last on there long before we are thrown off.

"Yay!" she yells, and hugs me.


Not long after, we are in the Risa shuttle, going through customs. I can see photos of the two of us on the board of people not to be let in under any circumstances. I make Britney aware of this, and she puts on her dark glasses.

"Galactic Passports, please." barks out the customs official, and we hand over our doctored documents.

"Miss....Jennifer Baxter?" he says, looking at Brit carefully, thinking he may have seen her somewhere before.

Then I move forward.

With dark glasses on, dyed hair and my ears having some make up to disguise the shape, I look convincing.

"Miss....Beverly Crusher?" he asks. I nod.

He stamps our passports and we are officially on Risa, the pleasure planet.

Britney gives me a big hug.

"I told you we'd make it, T'Pol!" she exclaims, "Now is the time for some real fun!"

"Shhhh!"  I warn her, "We don't want to get deported two minutes after we get through. Let's try and have a good time without being found out."

To be continued.....

Saturday, June 25, 2011

TWQ: Airport Likes & Dislikes

As people are jetting off on their vacations, TWQ (the Weeekend Question) asks what you like and dislike about airports.

What do you like and dislike about airports? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:


* Watching all the varieties of people, different nationalities go past. So many all grouped togerther.


* Checking in.

* The substandard restaurants.

* The Gates that are miles from where we are, awful for those who cannot walk far.

* The carousels to pick luggage up from. It's a rule that my case is the last one.

* Customs are never organised.

Now it's over to you....

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Annika/Seven's Counseling Session

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

I must admit, I haven't had a counselling session like this before, where I'm talking to one body that is currently holding two minds. Oner being the Borg drone Seven Of Nine, and the other Annika Hansen, her original self. Right now they seem to be at war with each other. Seven had to have her implants removed after an assassinaion attempt by the rogue group Section 31, so though I see Annika, I am talking to both. Either will break out to talk at any time. It's a good job money isn't paid, otherwise they would probably both want a salary.

Annika sits herself down on the couch in my office, and smiles.

Hmmm...Annika in her skimpy outfits is quite a difference from the metallic drone outfit that Seven wore.

"Hello." I start saying, "Who am I talking to at the momemt?"

"I'm Annika." says the blonde figure, "Pleased to be able to talk to you at last, Deanna. I've had a busy time trying to get free since SHE took over."

"Where were you, then?" I ask.

"In the artificial environment created by Borg with the recessive gene known as Unimatrix Zero." Annika tells me, "The Borg Queen was always trying to hunt down users. I could tell you some stories there...."

"No!" she shouts, "I was never there. It cannot be true. Do not listen to her.!"

"Seven," I tell her, you have to accept that you had the gene, and Annika inhabited Unimatrix Zero when you were regenerating in your alcove."

"Oh, she'll never accept anything, Deanna"" Annika laughs, "Seven is so stubborn. She can't believe that she actually had the gene that the Borg Queen was trying to find and destroy. She...and me would have been destroyed if Queenie found out."

I turn to the important matter.

"Annika, Seven...I know you can both hear me, although one may the dominant one at any time." I tell them, "It's important that the two of you learn to live with each other. You will have to share the body, so it is only fair if one slips into background and gives the other free time every so often. Over time, you will learn to give in to each other. Perhaps you might need to call your other self for help in important matters. You might even become great friends."

"That will not be possible!" Seven sniffs, "The Borg are supreme."

"Well I don't want you around when I go on a date."  Annika snaps back.

"I would not wish to be!" Seven replies, "I would not want to be part of your procreation technique."

"So you think I'm going to bed with my date on the first occasion?"

"Considering how you dress right now, I wouldn't think anything else. We know each other's mind."

"That's insulting. I dress to suit myself, not to attract others."

"Ladies." I try to say, then shout "LADIES!!"

The figure turns round.

"This session is over."  I tell them in a tired manner, "You are going to have to go to your quarters and discuss amongst yourselves how to live. Please no arguments about the decorations."

I realise that I shouldn't have said that, as I hear the blonde woman talking to herself in a raised voice about the colour of the calls they ought to have.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Assassination Attempt (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen/Seven Of Nine

"Wake up, Annika, wake up, Seven." says a voice I recognise as Beverly Crusher.

My mind feels like it has been through a washing machine and hung out to dry. I'm alarmed that my Borg hive mind connection is no longer working, put it still seems like there is someone else in here struggling to get out.

I'm here, Seven.

What was that?

"What is going on?" I struggle up. Both Beverly Crusher and the Borg Queen are standing next to me.

"Calm down, you have been through a lot." Dr Crusher tells me.

"Calmness is irrelevent!" I shout, "You will tell me what has happened."

I am Annika and am sharing your mind, Seven.

What is happening to me?

"You were the victim of an assassination attempt, Seven." the Queen tells me, "The phaser blast short circuited all your Borg attachments. They had to be removed. You now look like a human again."

In horror at this news, I grab the mirror she was about to give me to see my appearance.

"It's horrible!" I wail, "I look so ugly!"

I don't know, Seven. I think I look kind of cute.

"Be quiet!"

"Seven, who are you talking to?" Beverly asks me. all of a sudden, the other part of my mind gives way.

"Beverly." I tell her, "I don't have much time. I'm Annika Hansen. It looks like I am sharing the thoughts of the drone part of me you know as Seven. Two personalities are now in here. I think that you will have to convince her that we must learn to live together."

"No!" I shout out, "I will not share minds with a human."

You won't have much choice, sweetie.


A bewildered Beverly looks at the Queen, and at Captain Picard, who winced when he heard everything.

"What are gonna do, Jean-Luc?" she asks.

"I'll leave it to you," the Borg Queen tells them as she departs, "I hope you can help Seven."

"Annika..Seven." Beverly talks to me, "I hope we can help both of you."

"Thank you Beverly" I answer

"Thank you Beverly." I answer.

Get out!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

TWQ: Unfinished TV Series

Recently, Stargate: Universe ended with the characters put into suspended animation for three years. They look unlikely to wake up as the series was cancelled! TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks what other series would you like to see an episode that tied up all the loose ends?

What TV ended without a positive conclusion? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Land Of The Giants

* 24 (unless there is a movie)

* Stargate: Universe

* Deep Space Nine

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Assassination Attempt (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

The limp body of Seven Of Nine is brought into SickBay, although with all her metal casing, it looks like the scrapyard might have been a better place.

The Borg drone fell victim to the ricochet of a phaser set on 'kill'. A member of Section 31 had infiltrated the ship, and attempted to kill her so that a war might be ignited between the Federation and the Borg. The Borg Queen warned us of an attempt, but the Secret organisation within Starfleet are very clever.

The pile of metal is dumped on the medibed and I begin sorting things out. In a matter of moments, I hear footsteps, and a familiar face appears.

"How is she, Beverly?" Queenie asks, while I remove some stray metal. Where it came from on Seven, I hjave no idea.

"How did you know...?" I asks, "We hadn't had timev to summon you yet."

"You forget the Borg Hive Mind." the Queen answers with a superior air, "As soon has Seven's connection had vanished, I knew she was in trouble."

"It's too early to say." I summise, "The metal casing that made up her drone body may well have saved her life, but....."

"But what?" Queenie asks, knowing that the word 'but' is not good news for her.

"The blast of the phaser short circuited her Borg implants." I answer, "None are functioning. Seven will not have long to live unless...."

I seem to be in the habit of saying sentences without an ending. I think we were all trained to do that in the medical section of Starfleet Academy. In other words: don't say all bad news in one go. Let 'em take it in pieces.

"Unless what?" asks an impatient Queenie.

"It looks like all her implants will have to be removed, so that she becomes just the human she originally was, that is Annika Hansen."

"No!!" screams the Queen, "She is an integral part of the Borg."

"It's either that or she is dead." I tell her in my serious doctor-mode.

"She'll receive plenty of counselling." Deanna informs us, putting her oar in, "It'll be very difficult for Seven to change from being a Borg to human Annika."

"Ah!" exclaims Queenie, as if she has outsmarted us in a game of chess...or Scrabble, for that matter, "We on the Cube can easily fit new implants on to her. Then Seven would ber as good as new."

"Her body is too badly damaged." I tell the Queen, "You need to guide us as to how to remove all the implants before it is too late. She could not have new ones fitted."

Queenie's shoulders sag like a defeated woman whon has just missed the last bargain at a sale.

"Very well." she muses, "Section 31 will have found they have made a bad mistake in crossing the Borg and attempting to kill Seven."

Over the next few hours, every part of Borg technology is removed from Seven with the aid of her former leader.

What will remain when Seven....or Annika awakes?

To be continued after the TWQ......

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Assassination Attempt (Part One)

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

"You must be careful, Seven." the Borg Queen warns me while our minds are linked during my regeneration period in my alcove, "With the information we have received, the secret group Section 31 are starting to create a war between as and the humans after I formulated the peace treaty. You could be a prime target."

"I understand, my Queen." I reply, "I will be vigilant and set my phaser to kill and fire if someone as much as sneezes in my direction."

"Don't be TOO trigger-happy, Seven." my leader advises me, "Locutus says he will try and protect you as much as he can."

"I can protect myself!" I crossly say.

"You may think so." she continues, "But you can never tell where Section 31 personel have infiltrated. They could be behind any corner."

"I understand, my Queen." I tell her, and swich off the connection, about to leave my alcove.

Protection is irrelevent. Anyone who threatens me will be assimilated.

I walk out of the cargo bay, where I am joined by two burly security guards.

"Just for your protection. ma'am." one of them mutters, "Captain Picard is ordering that we stay with you at all times."

I get irritated. "I am going to see Locutus to order him to put you two human gorillas back in your cages."

As I stride towards the turbolift. a third security officer appears.

"Another one!" I bark out, "Don't you people have anything else to do?"

"I'm Lieutenant Jono." the third officer informs us, "I have arrived on the Enterprise, put of the security detail and ordered to replace you two."

"Lieutenant Commander Worf has not informed us of any changes in the detail." one of my security men informs him, "Show me your orders."

"Certainly." Jono replies with a sardonic smile, and gets something out of his pocket. All too quickly, we see it is a phaser set to 'kill'. This is hardly not relevent!

With two zaps, my security men are disposed as as fast as if they were wearing red shirts.

"And now you, Borg infiltrator!" Jono cries out, "A message from the people of Section 31."

My Borg life seems to pass before my eyes as he lines up to fire.

"No!!" says a voice.

It's Jennifer Baxter, who looks as if she is on the way to a holodeck battle exercise. She raises her multiphase disruptor and turns Jono into nothingness. But it's too late; the shot has been fired. I move out of the way, so it hits the wall. However, trhe weakened beam hits me full on and I fall into an inky blackness.

To be continued.....

Saturday, June 11, 2011

TWQ: Phone & Mail Crooks

In view of recent events that have happened to me, TWQ (the Weekend Question) is asking you to name any mail or phone crooks and organisations.

Can you name any crooks or organisations either by mail or phone that have tried to con you? List as many as you wish, and your experiences with them.

My answers are:

* Top of the tree are VITAMAIL. They sell overpriced medicinal items to elderly people, promise winnings in competitions that don't exist, send mail constantly and use recorded phone calls to say more messages are coming. Under no circimstances get involved with them. Type Vitamail in Google to see the many evil things they have done. My father mistakenly ordered something, and have only just managed to convince him how bad they are.

* I've had two phone calls from women who can barely speak English claiming they are from Windows, and that my computer has been hacked, and that I need to put in a 'secret code' into my computer. I saw through that scam right away!

* Despite living in Britain, my father gets mail promising non-existant winnings from places as far as Australia, Kansas and Belgium. I think our address was sold to criminals.


Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Queenie's Warning

"Borg Cube on sensors." Data tells me, "A message is incoming. The Borg Queen wants to talk to us."

I roll my eyes. Is she chasing me? I know Queenie has the hots for me, but this is ridiculous.

Her image comes on the screen.

"Locutus." she says firmly, "It is urgent that I speak with your senior staff as soon as possible. A matter has come up that is of grave consequence."

I tell her to beam on board right away.

"I wonder what she wants this time."  Riker asks me.

"I don't know, Number One." I reply, "But when she wants to speak to all of us, it's not good news. When she is just chasing me, at least I know where I am!"

About fifteen minutes later, the senior staff are assembled in my Ready Room. All eyes are on the Borg Queen, as we are curious about what she is going to say.

"A few days ago." she begins, "My Cube was on a routine assimilation mission outside Federation space. We locked on a small transportation vessel. Though there were only a few humans on it, we assimilated them to keep our monthly quota up for the report we give to the Alpha Borg Queen."

"I seem to have lost the thread." Deanna comments, "What is all this leading to?"

"Be patient, Deanna." Queenie answers, "It will all become clear. Now where was I? Oh yes. We were assimilating this small group. One person in particular wasn't keen on it. After his consiousness entered the Hive Mind, we knew why. He was Agent R from Section 31."

Suddenly I look up, alerted to the name of the secret group that operates within Starfleet. "Them? What did he know."

"Apparently, none of them know each other's name except that of Luther Sloan." Queenie answered, "They only get invited to meetings through whispers and notes with invisible ink slid under the door. They even do that for the Section 31 Christmas Dinner & Dance."

"Come on!" urges Lieutenant Britney, "I've forgotten the start of the story already!"

Queenie glares at Britnery and carries on.

"What we ascertained." she tellsa us, "Is recently there had been a meeting of Section 31 top staff. They were looking at suspect people here on the Enterprise who could be trouble to the Starfleet if not dealt with. Those discussed were Locutus, Guinan, Data, Lieutenant Britney, T'Pol and Seven of Nine. In principal, they were very disdainful of the Federation/Borg peace treaty that you and I had set up, Locutus."

Britney almost chokes on her chewing gum when her name is mentioned.

"What do they plan to do?" I ask.

"They want to restart a human/Borg war, Locutus." Queenie answers, "They think as we supposedly don't know they will wipe us out."

"But you DO know." I tell her, "And that will mean the annihilation of billions."

"Precisely." smiles the Queen, "That;'s why I'm here, "Section 31 need to be stopped."

"We have the upper hand." Riker says, "We know they are planning something."

"Yes, Number One, but we don't know what. Queenie, both our forces need to be on alert for any wrongdoing. By the way, should you catch them, you have my permission to assimilate them all."

"Thank you, Locutus." the Queen answers, "But I don't think we want their sort in the Hive Mind. They are far to despicable. We do have standards, after all. Instead, we'll just vaporise them."

"Fair enough" I laugh, as Queenie turns to walk out, back to her Cube.

"Can't have anything disrupting our alliance, can we Jean-Luc?" she whispers huskily out of earshot from the others.

Sigh. She never misses an opportunity.

Monday, June 06, 2011

Section 31 Meeting (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Luther Sloan

All those atteneding the Section 31 meeting have resumed their seats after having a drink and a sticky bun. The paper I pick up gets stuck to my hand. I knew I should have washed it!

We are all discussing possible problem people on the USS Enterprise that Section 31 may have to deal with. So far the names of Captain Picard, Seven of Nine and Guinan have come up. Now we are going to look at others.

"Who else is there" I ask.

"I am concerned about the two women Lieutenant Britney and T'Pol." Agent X tells us.

I can't show you a picture of her face as she is so top level in Starfleet, but this is her.

She carries a concealed phaser set at 'kill' in the top of her stocking.

"Why is that so?" I ask.

"Their lifestyle is very obnoxious." Agent X enlightens us, "Not only do they have no discipline, are consistantly in trouble, but they live together, and are said to be in love with each other."

"Disgraceful." comments Agent W.

"Is it?" asks Agent J.

"I don't think so." Agent K comments.

The two look at each other and redden as if they have given away a secret they share.

"Never mind them." I say, "Are there any other crew members?"

"What about the robot?" Agent S asks, "I figure that if he were reprogrammed by enemy aliens, he would give away all the secrets of the Federation."

"That is a concern." I agree, "But I don't see it happening. Few people know where his 'off' switch, let alone how to reprogram him."

When there are no more issues, I look back on our notes regarding the meeting.

"It seem to me that the Borg are our biggest problem." I conclude, "For too long, Picard has had a truce with them through this evil Borg Queen. She can strike and destroy at any time. We need to wipe them out. We need to restart the war and eliminate them quickly."

A 'hear,hear' is heard throughout the room.

"This meeting is now over." I declare, "Coffee and sticky buns are available outside."

Saturday, June 04, 2011

TWQ: Fovourite Sweets/|Candy

This week, TWQ (the Weekend Question) is asking what your favourite sweets (in the US candy) used to be.

When you were young, what were four favourite sweets/candies? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Sherbet lemons
Cola cubes
Opal Fruits (now renamed Starburst, but I still call them Opal Fruits)

Now it's over to you....