Saturday, October 30, 2010

TWQ: Halloween Outfit

It is Halloween weekend and you've been invited to a party! TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks what costume you'll be selecting.

What Halloween outfit would you wear for a party. Choose anything you wish.

My answer is:

If money were no object, I'd choose a French aristrocratic outfit, together with a false head to carry as if I had been had been guillotined!

Now it's over to you......

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Will Riker In The Chair (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Ro Laren

With Captain Picard and Beverly Crusher having a fun time at a beachside medical conference, Commander Riker is in the chair. We have some across a small ship of unknown origin. Myself, Worf, Data and Jennifer Baxter haved beamed over to investigate. A force fierld has prevented us from beaming back, and we can all hear an ominous ticking.....

Data comes across a console, and we see a countdown clock with just a few minutes to go.

"It looks like in a few minutes we shall be no more." Data calmly says, "It is fotunate that I have my girlfriend Jenny by my side at this time, though I would rather she be safe."

"It is a good day to die." Worf comments in a typical Klingon manner, "So sad that I will no longer be with my wife Jadzia. How fortunate that we married recently."

"Listen to the pair of you!" Jenny says in exasperation, "You are a right pair of doom-mongers! Let's try and solve this.

Jenny aims her multi-phase disruptor at the device, but nothing happens.

"What's happened, Jen?" I ask, "Have the batteries worn out?"

"It's not battery powered!" Jennifer replies starchily, "It is nuclear powered and cannot run down."

"My tricorder indicates that a high energy field is preventing all weapons from working.

"We have to do something!" Worf shouts irritatingly.

"I agree." Jenny answers, "Data and I were meant to be trying a hot new program in the holodeck tonight."

We alll look in horror as the countdown nears zero,and our lives flash before our eves, or in Data's case, through his circuits.

The clock reaches zero and an voice rings out:


The voice stops and the forcefield is lifted. We all beam back.

"Are you all right?" asks Riker, "Whatr happened?"

"Set a course for Farsa IV" says Jenny angrilly, "Us four need to wring Marty's neck."

Monday, October 25, 2010

Will Riker In The Chair (Part One)

Guest Poster: Will Riker

I'm in the Captain's chair temporarily, as the Cap and Beverly Crusher have gone to a medical conference together. 

You might well ask why the Cap needs to go to that sort of conference. He usually likes to when Bev goes, as they can enjoy all the freebies and time to themselves. I should think that if anyone were to ask a delegate if they saw Beverly Crusher in the Conference Hall, they wouldn't recall. Serves them right for holding the event where there is beautiful sunshine, beaches and water-skiiing.

Anyway, I'll have to stop going on, otherwise this will seem like a gripe. Alright, it IS a gripe. mThe only good thing is that Deanna and I are running the show for a while. No tiresome "Make it so, Number One." comments.

I hope we see a little action, though. Not that I want an invasion, or anything like that, but solving a problem always looks good.

"Ship on our sensors, Commander Riker." Data tells me.

Deanna puts down her chocolate fudge sundae and looks concerned.

"What do you think?" I ask her.

"The sundae was delicious." she replies with a smile.

"Not that!" I say in an asnnoyed voice, "I meant the ship ahead."

"Oh, that." she answers, "I'm a little concerned as I can't detect anything."

"It's true." Ro says as she looks up from her console. "There are no lifesigns on board the ship. It is an unknown class."

"I suggest we use some photon torpedoes and blow it out of existance." Jennifer Baxter comments.

"Ensign." I reply, "We've come a long way from the James T Kirk time of destroying everything we approach. Let's send an Away Team to look at it."

A few moments later, Worf, Data, Jennifer Baxter and Ro Laren are aboard the ship.

"Do you see anything?" I ask.

"Nothing in particular, Commander." Data replies, "But my android ears have heard a ticking, and a forcefield is preventing us beaming out again."

Suddenly I wish my time in the Captain's chair was a lot quieter than this!

To be continued.......

Saturday, October 23, 2010

TWQ: Yesterday's Headlines Today

TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks what the headlines in the paper would be today of events in nthe past.

What would be the headlines of famous events in the past if they were reported today? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* 'Comet heading to the earth could endanger dinosaurs' claim dismissed as a scare story by leading astronomers.

* Rumours of slavery abound in Egypt where giant pyramid is being constructed.

* Benedict Arnold: The truth behind the all-American hero.

* Will British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain talk about climate change when visiting Hitler in Munich?

Now it's over to you....

Monday, October 18, 2010

A Cure For T'Pol (Part Five)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

With me dressed  and disguised as a Romulan, Jadzia Dax, Ensign Britney, Ro Laren and Jennifer Baxter make our way to the planet Tevalla, deep in Romulan space. It is the only location where the antidote to Tevallian Fever is located. Britney's girlfriend T'Pol has it, and it is a race against time to get back to the Enterprise and save her..


"Now that we've got past that Romulan Commander." Britney urges, let's get that cure."

"We will." I say, "But first I've got to handcuff you all."

"What for?" demands Jenny, "This is no time to practice escapology!"

"Remember, Jenny." I reply, "You and all the others are supposed to be my prisoners. I've got to make it look as realistic as possible."

When we disembark, a Romulan official and his female assistant greet us with all the friendliness of an nI-speak-your-weight machine.

"What are these people you have?" the official barks coldly to me.

"Err..Federation spies who were caught inside the Romulan border." I answer, "Can you look after them for a few moments while I check what to do with them. I'll be back in a few moments."

"Do you wish us to torture them while you are away?" the female asks matter-of-factly.

"No, I don't think that will be necessary." I comment, to the relief of my friendswho are chained there.

Hurriedly, I rush through the Romulan Mall. Sadly, I have to go past some BEAUTIFUL dress shops. I would dearly love to buy a few of those! I saw one sheer red one that would fit me perfectly. I'm digressing, and remember the urgent matter in hand. I see a pharmacy ahead.

A Romulan shopkeeper approachews and asks me if he can help.

"Have you got a cure for Tevallian Fever here?" I ask.

"Oh yes." the shopkeeper replies, "Tevalla is the only place you can get it."

As soon as he confirms it, I throw the coins down, grab the antidote and run out of the shop. On my way back, I take another look at that red dress, sigh, and keep on running back to our ship.

When I return, the Romulans ask me what has been decided about the prisoners.

"Err....I am to take them to be Romulas to be tried then executed, or perhaps the other way around.

The Romulans laugh at this. I get the others aboard, unfasten the handcuffs and take off.

"Well?" asks a desperate Britney..

"Got it!" I reply with a smile. Britney looks ecstatic. I haven't seen her look so happy since she knew fish and chips were on the menu in the Enterprise brig.


A few hours later, the cure is given to T'Pol, and she is up asnd well again.

"I thought I'd lost you, soulsistah." Britney says as they hug and kiss.

"Brit, sweetie." T'Pol replies between kisses, "It'll take more than a dose of Tevallian Fever to separate us."

Saturday, October 16, 2010

TWQ: Workplace Annoyances

This week, TWQ looks at things that might have annoyed you at your place vof employment...or do now.

What annoyances have you come up against where you work, or used to work? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Reorganisations seem to happen every so often. We are always told it will improve everything from how it is...but previously the old way was trumpeted as being the big improvement.

* Political correctness bogs down all features, with the token ethnic minorities put in all adverts.

* Common sense is superseded by orders from above. Even though a better solution can be seen, we have to use the regulatory way.

* Staff are allowed to come in dirty and scruffy because 'it makes them feel comfier and sell easily'.

Now it's over to you....

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A Cure For T'Pol (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Deanna Troi, Ro Laren, Ensign Britney, Jennifer Baxter and myself are all in a small ship, deep in the heart of Romulan space. Captain Picard has sent us on an un official mission, which means that if we get caught, he'll say he doesn't know anything about it. The mission is to go to Tevalla, where the only antidote for Tevallian Fever is. Britney's girlfriend T'Pol has it, and isn't going to last much longer.

As a Romulan battlecruiser has just spotted us, it looks like we have had it. Deanna seems to have a moment of inspiration and gone round to the back of the ship.


"Deanna!" I shout to her, "We need some help! It's no time to vanish!"

"Yeah." Ro calls in agreement, "We did a little action here. The ship is almost here. They are hailing us!"

Suddenly, we hear a hurried rush, and Deanna comes back, out of breath, wearing something very different.

We gasp in amazaement, but say nothing as Deanna answers the hail.,

As the face of the Romulan Commander comes on our screen and announces himself as Karola, Deanna calmly talks to him.

"This is Commander Selana of the Romulan Counmcil" she says without a flinch, "What is it you want?"

Karola is surprised to see what appears to be a Romulan and carries on.

"May I ask what you are doing on a Federation vessel, Commander Selana?" asks Karola.

"My ship caught these Federation spies around the Romulan border." Deanna calmly answers, "I took their ship and we are going to Tevalla, where they will be questioned and tortured. Our soldiers are at the back of the ship keeping them under control."

"Very good, Commander." Karola respond, "Would you like me to give you an escort to Tevella? Perhaps we could go out for dinner after you have delivered the spies?"

"I'm very flattered, Commander Karola" Deanna answers in a slightly nervous voice, "My husband would not approve. Thank you as well for the escort offer, but I think we'll be all right from here. I'll be sure to report on how dligent and careful you were when you saw a Federation vessel."

"Very well." Karola says, "Still, if I see you in the Romulan Bar, I'll buy you drink, Selana."

With that, the battlecruiser flies off. Deanna starts to sweat and her Romulan make-up begins to slide off.

"It's a good job that Romulan went when he did." Ro observes, "Or he might have wondered why the woman he fancied had a face that was starting to melt!

"You're ruight there, Ro." Britney remarks, "C'mon. Tevalla is just in front of us. Let's get that cure for my T'Pol."

To be continued after the TWQ...

Monday, October 11, 2010

A Cure For T'Pol (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

After the squabbles between the other women on our secret mission that Captain Picard has sent us on, it was finally agreed that I should be the leader as I had the Rank of Commander on the Enterprise.

What uis happening is that we are going to the planet Tevalla deep in the heart of the Romulan Empire to get the antidote for Tevallian Fever, which T'Pol has, and may not last long. Federation ships are forbidden to enter Romulan space, so we are running a risk big time. With me on the ship are Jadzia Dax, Jennifer Baxter, Ro Laren and also T'Pol's girlfriend Ensign Britney. We're running a danger having Britney with us, as she is an emotional wreck and is terrified that she might lose the girl in her life.


"I hope you know what we are going to do if a Romulan battlecruiser comes up to us." Ro asks me, "We haven't enough firepower to tap on their shields."

"That's the idea, Ro." I reply, "We are meant to adapt a diplomatic non-aggressive attitude. Possibly we can appeal to the Romulans sense of fair play?"

Jenny sneers at this remark.

"Listen." she starts, "The only way to get them is to blow them out of the sky. If any try to board our vessel, then this multiphase disruptor will disintegrate them for good."

"Put it down, Jenny!" I command, "We don't want you waving that around, otherwise it could go off at any time accidentally and make space dust of us all."

"Well someone had better do something soon." Jadzia warns, "Our long range sensors are picked up a Romulan battlecruiser heading this way. They have spotted us, and are obviously not coming for a cup of coffee and a chat. They have all weapons primed and ready to use."

"We're all gonna die!!" screams Britney, running around like a headless chicken, "Every one of us, and also my beloved T'Pol. I'm sorry we couldn't save you!"

"Not so fast." I answer, "We still have a chance. I've got to act fast, though."

With that, I run to the back of the ship to see if my idea will work.

To be continued....

Saturday, October 09, 2010

TWQ: First Christmas Presents

As it is now October, Christmas is looming up. TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks what are the first presents that you buy.

What are the first Christmas presents that you tend to buy and why? List as many as you wish.

 My answers are:

* The first ones are the calendars for myself. They have to be imported from the US, and can take a lot of time to arrive, plus there is a discount for early ordering.

* I have to but British calendars here for my friends abroad, so I like to get them early to allow for the heavy flow of post nearer Christmas.

* I review how many Chrisrtmas cards and seem how many new packets I need after looking at my list and adding and culling a few names!

Note: I know many did their shopping for this year long ago, and are probably looking towards Christmas 2011!
Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

A Cure For T'Pol (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

With my lover and friend T'Pol not having long to live due to her having Tavellian Fever, Captain Picard has allowed a group of five to go on a secret mission to the planet Tavella, situated in the Romulan Empire to obtain the only antidote that will cure her. I am on board a small ship with Jennifer Baxter, Ro Laren, Jadzia Dax and Deanna Troi.


We've only bean going a short time when the squabbles start, with arguments about who is leading the mission..

"Well I say Britney should lead it." says Jadzia, "After all, it is her girlfriend that we are trying to save!"

"She doesn't have any leadership skills." Jenny says, as she carries her traditional fighting leather outfit in one hand and her multiphase disruptor in another, "I need to lead this mission. We'll go in with all guns blazing and get the cure for T'Pol."

"And start a galaxy-wide war with the Romulans at the same time." Ro Laren tells her, "Look, the only person here with Commander rank is Deanna. She needs to be our leader."

All our eyes look towards Deanna, who up to now had been sitting in one of the back seats in the ship reading Galactic Fashion Monthly.

"What?" she exclaims, "You want me to be in charge? Oh all right."

Deanna puts down her magazine somewhat reluctantly, and looks at us all.

"Jenny." she starts, "I agree with Ro. We can't go in violently. We can only start if we face any form of aggression. Even then, diplomacy will always come first."

Jenny puts her gun down, looking somewhat disappointed.

"Then what are we gonna do, boss?" I ask Deanne is a tired, but slightly sarcastic tone, "Are we going to go to the Tavellian Pharmacy and ask them for the antidote?"

"Don't worry, Britney." Deanna says, "I think I have an idea..."

To be continued after the TWQ....

Monday, October 04, 2010

A Cure For T'Pol (Part One)


Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

My soulsistah T'Pol and I are about to get into bed together when I notice she is very dizzy. I feel her brow. She is all sweaty. In fact all her body is! She's usually only this temperature after we have vspent half an hour in each other's company!

"T'Pol, sweetie!" I exclaim, "What's wrong? Your body feels as if it's on fire!"

"D-don't know, Brit." she stutters haltingly, and then slumps unconsiously in the bed.

I scream at the top of my voice, as if I a watching a horror film in the cinema, then gather my thoughts and call Beverly Crusher in the SickBay. In a few moments, a medical team burst into our quarters like a 21st century SWAT Squad. and collect, then wheel T'Pol away.

Hiurriedly I put on some clothes, as I realise the medical team has had an eyeful of me as nature intended. Then I run down to SickBay to hear what Beverly has to say.


"Itr's not good news, Britney." Bev tells me with a slight tear in the eye, "T'Pol has Tavellian Fever. It is fatal, unless we can get the antidote. She only has a couple of weeks to live."

"Well, get the antidote, snap, snap!" I exclaim, my Dr Martens boots kicking away a gurney in disgust.

"It's not that easy, Britney." Bev explains, "The only cure is found on Tavella, a non-Federation planet, located in the heart of the Romulan Empire. We can't go there..."

Captain Picard comes in behind us.I burst into tears when I turn round.

"I don't want to lose her, Captain!!" I wail, "T'Pol is all I have in the world. I love her."

"Yes, I know." the Captain replies, "The Enterprise can't go as it would be seen as an act of war. Perhaps we could send an unmarked vessel with some volunteers?....."

I smile at this idea..."Thank you, Captain."


A few hours laster, an unmarked vessel is ready to leave the deck. I turn round and coming forward is Jennifer Baxter, armed with her multiphase disruptor, Ro Laren, Jadzia Dax and lastly, Deanna Troi.

"So." Jenny say, looking around, "It looks like an all-girl trip. Let's get the ship powered up. We've got T'Pol to save!"

With that, the Magnificent Five step on board, and we jet off into space, towards Romulan Space.

To be continued...

Saturday, October 02, 2010

TWQ: Emigrate

Our neighbours are emigrating to Canada this coming week. As a reslt, TWQ (the Weekend Question) is asking just where would you go nto.

If you wanted to move to another country, what would be your firstr, second and third choices?

My answers are:

As I'm in Britain, my destinations would be:

1:  USA   (East coast)
2: Canada (Ontario area)
3: Norway (or possibly New Zealand)

Now it's over to you....