Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Ensign Britney Undercover (Part Five)



Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

Things don't seem to be going well on my undercover mission, infiltrating the counterculture group The Dregs of Society.

One of the members, Vyla, is very suspicious of me, though I am liked by Tamara, who bought me in to the group and by Desdemona Dreg, their leader.

She has revealed that the Dregs' plan is to break Dirk Dreg out of the penal colony. I can't get this information out, as my life would be worth less than a Ferengi's 'money back guarantee'.

Besides that, I like the anarchic lifestyle they have. However, I have to put that aside and try and complete the mission.

----------

Desdemona approaches me, as we all wait for the signal to start to break-out mission.

"Britney, honey." she says, "I want to get your details on on the Dreg database, so that you are established as a fully fledged Dreg."

"Sure." I reply, and take out some chewing gum and sit back.

"You've got a great laid-back style, Britney." she comments, "I'm sure you'll be one of the top Dregs within a short time. Ones like Vyla are not leadership material. Now I'll just switch on the computer."



"Now then." Desdemona continues, "Name, Britney. Planet of Origin, Delta. Have you ever been in jail?"

"Oh, sure, lots of times." I reply.

Considering the amount of times I've been in the Enterprise brig, that's no lie.

"That's super." she comments, "What were you put in jail for?"

"Not conforming to rules, anarchic behaviour, annoying other people, refusal to obey orders."

"That is just great!" says Desdemona as she types the information in, "You sound like the Ideal Dreg."

I wouldn't have thought telling the absolute truth would be so handy.

Suddenly, she is called away from the computer, as another member wants her for something.

I see my opportunity. I take a computer chip from the heel of my Dr Marten boots, slip it into the computer and take a copy of the entire Dreg database.

With this, Starfleet will be able to track and jail every Dreg there is. I feel a tang of regret for having to do this, but it will ensure the success of my mission.

Desdemona returns, with an excited look on her face, as if she has got the winning ticket in her box of Galaxy Corn Flakes.

"Britney!" she exclaims, "You'll never believe who we've captured! An actual member of Starfleet!"

She indicates to Tamara to bring the prisoner in.



I look in horror as I see it is my soulsistah T'Pol!

The two of us exchange glances, but say nothing to indicate that we already know each other.

"We've talked to her a lot, Britney" says Desdemona, "But this one is a tough one, saying something like members of the Terran Empire never talk."

Desdemona places a disruptor in my hand.

"For your first mission, Britney." she says, "You can disintegrate this Starfleet lackey."

T'Pol and I look at each other in mutual horror at hearing this.

I have never so panic stricken since the day I was told that Delta Gum, my favourite chewing gum was ceasing production.

To be continued...

18 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Curmudgeon said...

No easy solution presents itself. Worse, if the Dregs are so screwed up as to think T'Pol a Starfleet lackey, they probably haven't been worth all this bother.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like this story belongs in HEAT magazine! What about I hear my Penis Gum? (TRUE GUM!!)

Ellee Seymour said...

Ensign Britney is lucky to still be on board.

Nepharia said...

It sounds as if Britney has finally found a group of people that she identifies with. She should just shoot T'pol and become a permanent member.

Batman said...

Undercover work is never easy

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Wow I never thought I'd say this but poor T'pol!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Nepharia, I don't think that is an option.

Mrs M, yes I saw that post of yours.

Lahdeedah said...

Man. She's like, so not gonna disintegrate t'pol!

Linda said...

That was a heck of a spot to end the story! Can't wait to see how Britney figures this one out!

Unknown said...

I feel confident that I can rescue Tpol! :D))

merlyn said...

good grief doesn't Britney ever get a break?

Curious as to how she gets out of this one...

Amanda said...

ooooo I love this twist!

Ellee Seymour said...

I would like to see Britney grow here hair and look more feminine.

Have a good weekend captain.

Tawnya Shields said...

I haven't been by lately to see what britney is up to but I see she is in quite a pickle and her soul-sistah is not doing so well either. Kind of feel sorry for her. Just a little. ;o)

Anonymous said...

20 day persuasion -
advanced pc tweaker -
adware bot -
affiliate naire -
apple patch diet -
article submitter -
art of approaching -
burnthefat -
burn the fat -
carb rotation diet -
cold sore freedom in 3 days -
conversationalhypnosis -
conversational hypnosis -
copy that game -
cure for bruxism -
cure hemorrhoids -
cyber link pro -
dl guard -
driver checker -
driver robot -
drop shipping wholesalers -
earth4energy -
earth 4 energy -
easy backup wizard -
easy click mate -
easy photo biz -
eatstopeat -
eat stop eat -
epinoisis -
error fix -
error killer -
error smart -
evidence nuker -
fap turbo -

Anonymous said...

cure for bruxism -
cure hemorrhoids -
digi cam cash -
digital media solution -
dl guard -
driver checker -
earth4energy -
earth 4 energy -
easy backup wizard -
easy member pro -
easy tv soft -
eatstopeat -
eat stop eat -
error fix -
error killer -
evidence nuker -
fap turbo -
fatburningfurnace -
fat burning furnace -
fatloss4idiots -
fat loss 4 idiots -
final uninstaller -
fitnessmodelprogram -
fitness model program -
flatten your abs -
gamers testing ground -
gov auction -
governmentregistry -
government registry -
gov records -
herbal hair solution -
homebre ware -
home job group -
homemadeenergy -

Anonymous said...

affiliate prophet -
affiliate video brander -
anti spyware -
art of approaching -
atomic blogging -
auction classified cash -
automated cash formula -
bbq book -
bloggers pay check -
blogging in action -
body building revealed -
burnthefat -
burn the fat -
carb rotation diet -
cheat your way thin -
chopper tattoo -
cleanup the profits -
cold sore freedom in 3 days -
commission blueprint -
conversationalhypnosis -
conversational hypnosis -
cure for bruxism -
declutter fast -
driver checker -
earth4energy -
earth 4 energy -
easy member pro -
easy tv soft -
eatstopeat -
eat stop eat -
fap turbo -
fatburningfurnace -
fat burning furnace -
fatloss4idiots -