Saturday, June 23, 2007

TWQ: Film/Actor

Important: I am on vacation from Sunday 24th July until Tuesday 10th July, and will be unlikely to send any posts. I shall be on a cruise, seeing Ireland, Iceland, Norway, Holland and Belgium.

While I am away, please do the following TWQ (The Weekend Question), which will last through that period.

I have listed a film and an actor below. You should write the name of another actor who was then in that film, and list a film that person was in. The next person should follow, doing the same procedure.

This enables anybody to come back and continue as often as they like.

I start with:

The Towering Inferno starring Steve McQueen

I'll look forward to seeing you later on!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Pre-Vacation Meeting

As the Enterprise gets ready for the two clean out and the crew go on their vacations, I call the staff in for a meeting.

"All right, everybody." I say, as we are going in a few days, "I'm just asking what you intend to do in the two weeks away? I shall be on my cruise to Ireland, Iceland, Norway, the Netherlands and Belgium."

"Will and I will be going to Betazoid." says Deanna, "We're keen to see my mother Lwaxana and discuss our future."

Riker has a glum look about him. Somehow I don't think he's so keen on seeing Deanna's mother.
"You ARE looking forward to seeing my mother, aren't you, Will?" asks Deanna sharply, noticing his look.

"Oh, sure." he replies, suddenly, "I can't wait."

"How about you, Data?" I say.

"Jennifer Baxter and I are visiting her parents in northern England." he answers, "Mr Baxter wants me to taste the local delicacies such as black pudding."

"Very tasty, Data." comments Geordi, "Trisha Lewis and I are going to VacationWorld. It's a planet that has been built with beaches to lie in, theme parks, everything."

I turn to T'Pol.

"I know you haven't been in this universe very long, T'Pol." I tell her, "What will you be doing on your leave.

"Ensign Britney and I will be going to the Raveathon Vacation Complex." she replies, "There, it is non stop partying, with the clubs playing music at 130 decibels minimum."

"That's a good place to go!" comments Beverly with a sarcastic smile, "I was due to go elsewhere, but I'll be visiting Wesley and Karena. I know he'll be keen to see me after being ordered about for so long by her."

"I shall be going to the Maquis Convention." Ro Laren tells us, "There are some good lecturers telling us how we can defeat the Cardassians."

I cough, pretending I didn't hear all that anti-Starfleet talk.

"How about you, Jadzia?" asks Riker.

"Worfie...I mean Worf and I will be visiting Trill" she replies, "It's been a while since I've visited my home planet. It will be interesting to see some of my relations...although they will be in differnt bodies."

"The Borg Queen will be expecting me to give my latest report on life on the Enterprise." states Seven of Nine, "She will wish to know whether you can be assimilated yet."

That depresses us all.

"Lighten up, Seven!" comments Geordi, "Don't you think we are worth saving yet?"

"No." replies Seven flatly, "The Borg are supreme, resistance is..."

"....Futile." Geordi says, "Yes, I know the line."

"Well, that's it, everybody." I tell them, "I hope you all have a good time while you're away."

"What about me? comes a voice.

It's Q, who appears.

"You didn't ask what I'd be doing on vacation, Jean-Luc"

"How do you have a vacation, Q?" I ask, "The Continuum is one long holiday."

"I'm insulted, Jean-Luc." he replies, "It's hard work to have fun and making time go backwards for some planets and create a few comets that just miss others."

"Have a good vacation, Q." I say with a sigh, "Just don't come where we are going."

"Maybe not, Jean-Luc." he answers, "Maybe not."

With that, he vanishes again.

"I think we can go now." I sigh.


Author's note: I'll put a two week TWQ up on Sat 23rd, and will return from my vacation on Tuesday 9th July.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

T'Pol & Britney In The Brig

Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol

I'm on my way to the brig again, escorted by the Klingon.

They are so straight-laced here; one step out of place and you get told off. I suppose I shouldn't complain. Back home in the Terran Empire we torture offenders by putting them in the Decon Chamber and playing about with the life support.

The Klingon throws me in the brig. I notice there is also someone else there; a bald woman.

"Hello." I say to her, "What are you in for?"

"I'm Ensign Britney." she replies, "I'm ALWAYS in here, as they say I'm so disruptive. I'm from the planet Delta, where none of the occupants have any hair. I'm in here because I was arguing with Geordi LaForge in the Engine Room. How about you?"

"I'm Lieutentant Commander T'Pol of the ISS Enterprise." I tell her, "I've only just got here after spending 200 years in susunded animation and coming through to this alternate universe. Picard put me in the brig after I told the Klingon that I have better tactical knowledge than he could ever have."

Britney laughs.

"That is so cool!" she shrieks hystrically, "It looks like you and I are going to be good friends."

She reaches below the bed she is sitting on and gets out some chewing gum that has been stuck underneath.

"Here, T'Pol." Britney says, "Have a piece of my chewing gum. I've been eating that since I got in the brig. I wouldn't let anybody but a friend eat some of it."

"Err...thanks, Britney." I reply hesitatingly, "That's really err... cool. I'll put it under my bed and eat it later."

"Great, T'Pol." she continues, "This starship can't handle women like us!"

She's right there.

"That's true, Britney." I tell her, "We could run a far better ship than they could."

"Right on, sista!" she shouts, then whispers, "I hear someone coming."

It is the ship's Counselor, Deanna Troi. I tell Britney that she is Riker's Woman.

"I'm here to check on your rehabilitation, Britney and T'Pol." she tells us, "You both have bad disciplinary records and Captain Picard is eager that you both become responsible members of the crew."

"Did Riker give your permission to ask us, Counselor?" Britney asks her, "Does he usually give his Woman these servile positions."

I laugh out loud as Deanna runs out in tears.

"Right on, sista!" I say to Britney.

I might be in the brig a couple more days as a result, but it was worth it!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Travel Agent

Next week, starting the 25th of June, the Enterprise will be getting a clean out for two weeks, and the crew will be off for their vacations.

I'm in the Starfleet Mall with Bev and looking at the Transgalactic Travel Tours shop to see where to go. This year, we are going to Iceland and Norway on a cruise.... if we can get in.

The shop assistant looks very smug, wears a bow tie and looks down on us.

"I'm Mr Adams." he says sniffily, "What can I do for you people?"

"We'd like to go on a cruise that involves Iceland and Norway." replies Beverly, "What do you have?"

"On this planet?" he answers gruffily, "No one goes on vacation here except the riff raff. Are you sure you wouldn't like to see the Flame Falls of Talka or the Twin Moons of Yeltern?"

"No!" I reply angrily, "We want a vacation on this planet. I have always wanted to see these two countries for real, as they have geysers, waterfalls, fjords and.."

"Very well," he sighs, "I'll see what I can get you. Let's look in the cheap category."

Adams muses for a while and raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"Actually, it seems like all the trips are booked out. A lot of people from other planets seem to like the area. The Ice Warriors of Cheeli are always booking in advance to see Iceland. The Rockmen of Boulda book years in advance to see the fjords of Norway."

"Are you saying we can't get on a cruise, Mr Adams." Beverly asks with irritation, "Surely there must be something?"

"Ah, here we are." says Adams "There's a cruise on the Artemis starting on the 25th June, starting in Southampton, England on the 25th, stopping at Ireland, three locations in Iceland, three locations in Norway and one stop at The Netherlands and Belgium. It will last 14 days."

Beverly and I talk about it quickly.

"That sounds ideal, we'll take it!"

"Ah." continues Adams, "There are one or two complications."

I knew it. There always are.

"Firstly." he tells us, "The ship is somewhat old."

"Just how old?" Beverly asks.

"It was built in the 20th Century." Adams replies, "It doesn't have many modern features like a holodeck and replicators."

"We don't have to row the ship as well, do we?" asks Beverly drily.

"Actually." Adams carries on, "As I said, there is a second complication. Due to excessive booking, there is only one cabin left."

"I'm sure we can manage." says Beverly with a straight face, as she nudges me in the hips.

"It's a single cabin, madam." Adams says sniffily, "Your ermm....friend will not be able to go."

He looks at me with an air of superiority and disdain.

"Jean-Luc." Beverly tells me, "You go on the cruise. Wesley was asking me to stay with him and Karena, but I made excuses. I think he would welcome me there."

"If that's what you want, Beverly?"

"You go and enjoy yourself next week" she replies, "Besides, when we get back, we'll program the cruise into the holodeck.....and have our own cabin then!"

We both laugh away.


Author' Note:

As you may have gathered, I'll be on the Artemis from Mon 25th June for two weeks, going to the places above with my father. There will be more episodes this week, then a two week TWQ until 10th July.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

TWQ: TV Series Closures

As news of an awful tv series ending in 'The Sopranos' has been seen, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about conclusions for tv series.

What would you consider a good final episode for a particular tv series? Choose a serious ending, a funny one or completely weird. It can be an old series, or one that is still running. Choose more than one series if you wish.

My answers are:

Happy Days: Fonz grows a beard and gets a Harley Davidson, and calls everybody 'man'.

Twin Peaks: it is proved that aliens have landed and are trying to take over the town. Agent Cooper saves the day after eating his pie.

Lost: A hotel, named the Dharma Initiative is found on the island a few miles from where they are based. Everyone moves in there and lives happily every after.

24: Jack Bauer is in hospital, and Chloe O'Brien saves the world instead.

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Mirror T'Pol (Part Three)

T'Pol is making herself a very unpopular Vulcan around here.

After we retrieved her from an frozen 200 year old Escape Pod that came out of the Mirror Universe, her abrasive attitude isn't fitting in well on the Enterprise.

Seven of Nine has threatened to assimilate her for insulting the Borg. I had to tell Seven to cool off in her alcove. Beverly and Deanna has both being saying she has to go as well.


I am with T'Pol, trying to tell her that she must be more tolerant of others, and to watch what she says when Ensign Jennifer Baxter marches up to her.

"What do you think you are doing by insulting Data?" she shouts at T'Pol, pointing her finger directly at her, "Saying that he ought to be put on the scrapheap and you could be taking his place!"

"He's only an android." T'Pol retorts, "I am flesh and blood. Are you saying that this android is your man?"

As T'Pol laughs out loud, Jennifer's fist hits her face.

In a moment, the pair are fighting away on the floor, tearing at each other's hair. Security come and separate them.

It seems like T'Pol is causing trouble; she has been in two fights already.

"Do you want to be in the brig all the time, T'Pol?" I ask her.

"The crew here are far weaker than those in the Terran Empire." she replies, and walks off defiantly.

I sigh and go to my video monitor. Something needs to be done.


I'm talking to Admiral Hollister of Starfleet Command.

"Even if we could return her, Captain Picard." he tells me, "We can't. She's seen too much of this universe and might pass on secrets that might be of an advantage to them. It's all part of the Prime Directive. T'Pol will have to stay in this universe."

I sigh.

"Well, sir." I suggest, "What if we send T'Pol to Vulcan? Surely she would like..."

"Are you serious?" Hollister replies, "Captain, the Vulcans would never accept her. T'Pol is far too disruptive. Vulcan in her universe is far different from this one."

"Then maybe we can place her in a Starbase where she can..."

"Captain," Hollister tells me, "I know you don't want her on the Enterprise, but that is where she is going to have to be placed. There, she can learn about 24th Century life. Give her a job to do. She could be good with helping in Tactics or something like that. You're doing a great job with Seven Of Nine. I don't see why you can't so the same with T'Pol."

I sigh again. I knew it would come to this. It's no use mentioning that she and Seven have already been at loggerheads, and have upset a lot of others. Once an Admiral's mind is made up, it's impossible to change it.

A lot of people are going to be annoyed.


T'Pol is sitting in her quarters, eating a slice of Terran Empire Chocolate that she obtained from a replicator.

"Well Picard?" she asks, "What are the Federation going to do with me?"

I shake her hand.

"Welcome to the Enterprise, T'Pol."

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Mirror T'Pol (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol

At the moment, I am being held prisoner on a starship from an alternative universe.

On the ISS Enterprise, just before I was due to be executed, I found an Escape Pod and got away. Unfortunately it was somehow frozen and I was left there for over 200 years. The Pod had drifted through a spatial rift to another universe where the Terran Empire does not exist. A more advanced Enterprise has picked me up.


I can see Picard and his second in command Riker discussing; obviously they are talking about me.

"You will tell me what you are discussing!" I inform them, "I am a prisoner of war with this Federation!"

Picard approaches me.

"T'Pol." he says, "You are not a prisoner of war. You are a guest on the Enterprise; there is no need to behave aggressively. Perhaps you want to see our ship's Counselor in order to get used to life here?"

I sneer.

"You have a Counselor to deal with problems?" I tell him dismissively, "In the Terran Empire, we solve our problems with a dagger in the back! Beware, Picard; your underling Riker might have one reserved for you."

I go to my quarters; they are far more advanced than the ship I left behind. I'm sure whoever is in charge of the Empire now would reward me greatly if I could take this ship to the Imperial Starfleet.

A door opens; a brunette woman comes in, all smiles. Riker is behind her and whispers to her before he leaves.

"Hello, T'Pol." she says, "I am Counselor Deanna Troi. I'd like to have a talk with you about life in the 24th Century. It might take a little getting used to."

"Are you Riker's woman?" I ask her directly, "I can tell in the body language between the two of you that you are more than just colleagues."

"Errr..." she replies with a stutter, "Commander Riker and I are good friends, but our relationship is not important to you."

"I thought you were!" I say, "I'm never wrong in these matters."

"Now, T'Pol." she continues, "How do you think you would like to fit in around 24th Century Starfleet?"

"As I am a Lieutenant Commander in the Terran Empire" I answer, "You can replace this android I've heard about who has the same position I do and put him on the scrapheap. Alternatively, you could promote me to Commander, and I'll have Riker's position."

Troi looks shocked, and after a hesitant goodbye, she leaves my quarters.


A little later, someome else visits. It is a strange female with robotic implants.

"You are T'Pol?" she asks.

"Yes." I answer, "And just what are you?"

"I am Seven Of Nine, a Borg drone from Unimatrix 01." she tells me stiffly, "I am here to observe human life for the Borg Queen before we assimilate everybody on this vessel."

"Assimilate?" I ask her, "What does that mean?"

"It means the Borg turn you all into drones like myself." Seven states.

I laugh.

"The Terran Empire would soon destroy you creatures." I tell her, "You kind would be no more."

Seven looks livid.

"Just one Borg Cube managed to destroy several starships in the battle of Wolf 359." Seven tells me, "I shall instruct the Queen to move into your universe and assimilate all there as well. The Borg are supreme; resistance is futile."

"Not if I destroy you first!" I shout.

The two of us start to fight, but Picard and a Klingon come in and break it up.

"I'm starting to get to know the people on this starship, Picard." I tell him with a smile.

To be continued...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Mirror T'Pol (Part One)

What was in my list of New Year's resolutions?

Never, NEVER go near a dimensional rift.

Why do I ignore it, then?


We are investigating disturbances in the Revallan Sector; when we get there, we see a rift that is starting to shrink.

My first reaction is to do a 180 degree turn and head back at Warp Nine, but I ask foolishly where it is linking to.

I order to find out, Data sends a probe and comes up with the answer.

"It is a parallel universe, Captain." he tells me, "Also the signature tells us that it is the very Mirror Universe encountered by Captain Kirk a century ago, and those on Deep Space Nine."

"They are trouble." murmured Riker.

"I agree, Number One." I reply, "We don't want to get sucked into there. Let's turn and get away from here."

"The rift is closing." Data informs me, "In a few moments there will be nothing there."

"There is something coming out of the rift!" shouts Deanna as we look at the videoscreen, "It looks like an Escape Pod."

I groan.

"Can't we send it back the way it came, Mr Data?" I ask desperately.

"No, sir." he replies, "The rift is sealed. We are too late."

More trouble; why does it seem to follow us around like a dog chasing a bone?

A tractor beam is fixed on the pod, which is encased in solid ice, and it is bought into one of the cargo bays.


"It look over two centuries old." comments Riker, when we view it "Yet sensors have detected there is a lifeform inside."

I advise them to be careful. If it's someone from the Terran Empire, when they are unlikely to greet us with open arms.

The lasers cut their way through and we find a young Vulcan woman slumped over the controls.

"She is in typical Mirror Universe uniform." Beverly remarks, "An exposed midriff, a badge with a dagger through the Earth."

"Yes." I say, "But it looks very close to the uniform worn by Captain Jonathan Archer's crew when the first Enterprise went out in 2150."

We agree to put the woman in restraints while Beverly wakes her up.

As she gradually comes to, the woman looks around sharply.

"Where am I?" she shouts aggressively, "You will remove these restraints immediately! I am a member of the Terran Empire and Imperial Starfleet. You will pay dearly for imprisoning me."

She seems to have the same sort of charm as Seven does. Not exactly graceful is she?

"Who are you?" I ask.

"I am Lieutenant Commander T'Pol of the ISS Enterprise!" she tells me dismissively, "And who are you that dares to capture me?"

"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise." I reply sharply, "You have been in that Escape Pod for over 200 years and have crossed over into a parallel universe. Welcome to the 24th Century!"

T'Pol is lost for words, and looks around, probably noticing the more advanced technology around her. I see she is the mirror version of the Vulcan who served with Captain Archer in the 22nd Century.

"You will take me back to the Terran Empire immediately, Picard." T'Pol tells me, after some thought, "I will tell the Empire to have mercy on you for escorting me."

Beverly giggles behind me, T'Pol looks disgusted.

"You will tell your woman to respect your guests!" says T'Pol.

Beverly blushes at her remark.

"I can't take you back, T'Pol." I tell her, "The dimensional rift between our universes is closed. You will have to stay here. Besides that, I have had reports from Deep Space Nine that the Terran Empire is in turmoil at the moment. It would be nothing like it was when you left it. Even if you could be returned, you would be out of your time."

After a while, T'Pol agrees to remain calm, and the restraints are removed.

We place her in some guest quarters.

"Well, Captain." asks Riker as we walk away, "What are we going to do with T'Pol?"

To be continued...

Saturday, June 09, 2007

TWQ: Animal Choices

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) takes a look into the animal kingdom.

Given the choice, which sort of animal would you like to be and why? This covers insects, mammals etc. If you have more than one choice, please mention it.

My answers are:

Whenever I visit the zoo, I like to go in the reptile house. Snakes, spiders, iguanas, crocodiles are always fascinating. They may not be everybody's favourite, which is why I like them. A beautiful iguana might be my first choice.

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Worf & Jadzia On Vacation (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Worf

This vacation is hardly befitting a Klingon warrior and his son.

Instead of being on the homeworld, where we can have a good time enduring pain sticks and fighting with a bat'leth, or on Vasha, the torture planet, where we can have an interesting few days seeing how far we can go before we break under torture. we are on Earth.

To be more precise, Ben Benlin's Holiday Camp Village. Jadzia has forced me to go as she insists that Alexander is only a child and needs to have a good time on his vacation.

The staff are called Orangecoats and smile far too much. Alexander has been encouraged to join the Happy Gang, which he is very pleased about.

Is this a potential Klingon warrior? I have my doubts.


"Oh, lighten up, Worfie!" exclaims Jadzia as we walk towards the swimming pool to sit around, "Let's have a fun time."

I sit in my chair while Jadzia goes for a swim in the main pool.

A male Orangecoat walks up to me.

"Are you having a SUUUU--PER TIME here at Benlins?" he asks me with his fixed smile. I notice that all the others around the pool, consisting of various Federation members are looking at us. Jadzia has noticed while in the pool and is worried.

"No, I am not." I reply formly.

"Oooooooh!!!!!" exclaims the Orangecoat and the people around together.

The Orangecoat, who has a badge with 'Jeff' on his coat, turns round to the people.

"Shall we throw him in the pool for being a spoilsport, ladies and gentlemen?" he asks daringly. Jadzia sighs and puts her hands over her eyes.

"You will unhand me, sir" I tell him, "Otherwise I shall use my phaser on you. I'm not sure what setting it is at right now, but to tell the truth, I don't care."

Jeff changes his mind and mutters something to himself; he starts to walk off. Jadzia leaves the pool, and as she walks towards me, she kicks Jeff in the pool.

The crowd cheers.

"Don't mess with my Worfie!" she shouts to him, and comes back to kiss me.

"This vacation may not be so bad after all." I tell her with a smile.


A little while later, we are ready to leave Benlin's. The three of us have had a good time. I have managed to get in some bat'leth practice at the holosuite they have there. Jadzia has joined me a few times...and won. I must practice more.

Alexander is sad to go, although he tends to shout "HAPPY!" at every person he meets. I must make sure this does not continue. It will not look good whenever he visits the Klingon Homeworld.

I notice that Jeff the Orangecoat has been avoiding us. He tended to dive behind a bush whenever he saw us. To tell the truth, I'm not sure if he was more scared of me or Jadzia.

Jane the Orangecoat comes to say goodbye to us; her smile is more fixed than ever. It must be hard for her to stop when she is off duty.

"I hope you will be visiting Benlin's again!" she says with a cheerful look.

"I'm sure we will." replies Jadzia, "Tell Jeff we'll all be happy to talk with him again."

With that, we walk back to the shuttle to take us to the Enterprise.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Worf & Jadzia On Vacation (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Worfie and I have got leave from the Enterprise to take Alexander on vacation.

As usual, Worf is grumbling about the location.

"Alexander should not be coming to a place such as this." he complained, "He should be on the Klingon homeworld learning about warrior skills."

"Alexander is just a young boy." I reply, as we approach 'Ben Benlin's Holiday Camp Village', "This environment is for young children to have a good time while the adults relax and go to enjoy themselves at night. There is a holographic nightclub, singers from many different planets and..."

"It's not befitting a Klingon warrior!" he continues, "A Klingon should be enduring pain sticks, not going to a holiday camp."

"Worfie!" I say angrily, "Let Alexander have a good time and don't complain!"

He relents. "Very well, Jadzia."

As we enter the village, we are greeted by a young woman wearing an orange coat and an excessive smile that shows teeth like a row of gravestones.

"Welcome to Benlins!!" she says excitedly, "I'm Jane and am one of the many Orangecoats that will be looking after your child while you are here. I've read the report; his name his Alexander. Now where is he?"

Alexander steps out from behind us.

"I must say." comments Jane, "We haven't had a Klingon child here before at Benlin's."

"That is all right." replies Worf, "Just show Alexander where your warrior training building and give him a bat'leth to use."

I give Worf a sharp dig in the hips with my elbow. He buckles slightly.

"We don't have any of those." says Jane, while still retaining her fixed smile, "We can give Alexander a plastic sword if he wishes."

Worf looks aghast.

Jane approaches Alexander and bends down, pinning a badge on his chest with a large 'H' on it.

"As you are now at Benlin's, Alexander" she says happily, "You are now a member of the Happy Gang. Whenever you see another member of the Happy Gang, go up to them and shout "HAPPY!" at them."

"HAPPY!" shouts Alexander excitedly.

"You've got it!" says Jane with a smile and leaves us. Worf doesn't look like he can take much more.

"Today would be a good day to die." he says depressingly.

"Liven up, Worfie!" I say to him, "We've only just got here, "I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself at Benlin's."

I must admit, this holiday village isn't exactly perfect for a Klingon warrior.

To be continued...

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Safety Manual

I have called the senior staff for a meeting.

When they hear about it, they will probably wish they had found something else to do, liukie clean out a few warp conduits.

"All right, everyone." I say, "I want you all to read your copy ofthis large Health and Safety manual, printed by Starfleet.

There are a chorus of groaning from around the desk as the staff struggle to open the pages. The book is so heavy, it is not easy to lift them.

"Why are they printed on books, Captain?" asks Deanna, "Would it not be sensible to have them all on computer so we can refer to them and not have to carry the books around?"

Actually, this was the question I asked when the Starfleet official came with the books this morning.

"You're right, Counselor." I reply, "But Starfleet seemed to think that in case there was electrical interference, when the guides might get knocked out, it's best to keep them on paper, when they can always be read."

"Are you serious, Captain?" asks Riker unbelievingly.

"Unfortunately, Number One, I am."

We look through the book.

"Whoever wrote this book ought to be assimilated!" snorts Seven.

I agree with her, but can't possibly say that.

"What's this one?" asks Beverly, "It says that all sonic showers must be fitted with the warning sign 'Be careful, this shower may turn hot or cold.'. Any idiot knows that!"

"This one is no better." comments Ro, "It says 'All doors should have a notice with 'Beware of sliding doors' fitted on it."

"This book is in danger of going through the airlock doors." Worf says to himself disgustedly.

"There is a paragraph about the airlock doors as well, Worfie....I mean Worf." Jadzia points out, "It tells about depressurisation warnings and be sure to hold breath if there is an airleak."

"The Engineering section is the worst of all." complains Geordi. "There is a whole chapter on the dangers there, ranging from the warp core to wearing protctive suits when handling dilithium crystals."

I sigh. It looks like this book has been produced by some useless official who has never seen the inside of a starship.

"Go and read it for now." I tell them. "I'll have a word with Starfleet and see if I can get some of these things amended."


A few minutes later, while I am talking to Beverly in the SickBay about our date in the cinema last night, when Data comes in.

"Medical emergency!" states Data, "It's Geordi."

"What has he done, Mr Data?" I ask, "Not followed a directive in the Safety Manual?"

"No, Captain." he answers, "He pulled his back while trying to carry the manual out of the Ready Room."

Saturday, June 02, 2007

100th TWQ: Dinner Guests

This is the 100th TWQ! (The Weekend Question). To celebrate, I'm asking again the very first question again that started it all off...

Name a group of people you would choose as guests in a dinner party and why. Choose as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Virginia Woolf: Her style of writing was unique and was always worthy of discussion and interpretation. I would love to talk to her about it.

Nicole Kidman: This most versatile actress is my favourite, with roles so diverse she can adapt to any part.

David Niven: This noted raconteur of Hollywood anecdotes would liven up any dinner party.

Leonardo da Vinci: His works have always been a source of discussion, such as 'The Last Supper'and 'The Mona Lisa'.

Abraham Lincoln: A respected figure in hisory who we would all like to listen to.

Now it's over to you....