Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Stranded In 2006 (Part Two)

Things haven't been going too well for the senior staff since the Cap and the rest of us have been stranded in San Franciso in the year 2006 following a time machine accident.

I so wanted to be a trombone player in a jazz band. I trudged the streets asking all the clubs for an audition. Whenever I demonstated my talent, I always got the same response.

"Hey, man, we want talent, not an off-key player!"

It seems like those in the 21st Century have no lack of the vast skills us in the 24th Century possess.

I went back to my apartment where Deanna was.

"Any luck?" I ask her.

"No, Will, it's always the same," she mentions, "When I apply to be a psychiatrist or counsellor, the authorites want to see my qualifications. I can hardly tell them I'm a Starfleet Counselor from the 24th Century."

"Are you still doing your other job?" I ask.

"Yes" she sadly admits, "I'm a receptionist at the psychiatrist."

I have an idea.

"Deanna," I tell her, "Two days have elapsed since we have been in this time period; why don't we look at the others to see how they are getting on."

"Great idea!" she eagerly say, "Let's go."

Our sensor detector is directed towards Geordi. He said he was going to be a top DJ. I wonder how he has got on. Maybe he is at a nightclub?

We go towards a busy shopping area and see the sign 'Acme Record Store'. He's in there.

The two of us look around, and see a harassed-looking Geordi selling records to a group of people. He doesn't have any help.

"How are you doing, Geordi?" I call out.

He sees me and groans, "It's a nightmare." he tells me.

"We're looking up the others; do you want to come along?"

"Absoloutely!" he states, and comes with us, leaving the record buyers in disarray.

We head off to San Francisco High School. Data said he wanted to be a teacher. The other teachers are all seen, but there is no Data. Eventually, our detectors find him in the school trash. Data is switched off and in one of the refuse bins.

Deanna switches him on.

Data looks surprised when he sees us.

"What happened, Data?" Deanna asks.

"I am unsure, Counselor. I was teaching a class of fifty on my first day. They were running around the class, screaming. I was doing my best to contain them, but to no avail. It appears that they may have found my 'Off' switch and deposited me in the trash."

"The little horrors!" comments Geordi. I think the others are supressing a slight giggle though about a group of little villains throwing Data in the trash.

He agrees to come with us and see how the others are doing.

Our detectors are tuned now to Worf, who wanted to be a wrestler. It's pointed to the local circus. We see a sign with Worf's picture.


We go I find him locked up; he brightens to see us.

"I was on the way to audition for the wrestling, but yhey caught me nearby, Commander" he tells me, "And I have been unable to get free; they've drugged me up with darts."

We use a phaser and break him out; now to see Beverly.

We head off to San Francisco General Hospital.

"Perhaps she has a top job?" speculates Data.

"They way we are getting on in the 21st Century, Data" I tell him, "I somehow doubt it very much."

We see the doctors pouring out of the hospital. I ask one of them where Doctor Beverly Crusher is in the building. He laughs.

"DOCTOR Crusher!" he chortles, "Beverly Crusher is only a porter there who does the lowest jobs we all give her."

We go in and find an exhausted Beverly. She looks relieved at seeing us.

"It's been very hectic all day." she says, "I've been sorting out bedpans for hundreds of patients."

"What are bedpans, Doctor?" asks a puzzled Data.

"You don't want to know." she replies.

She comes with us and we look for the Cap. He said he was going to be a Shakespearean actor. Has he managed it?"

We all go to the theatre area, where his signal leads. We approach a great theatre where 'Hamlet' is being shown.

Could it be...?

Then I hear a familiar voice.


The Cap is selling programmes for the show. he sees us all and looks slightly concerned. We tell each other of our experiences.

"Things aren't going well." the Cap tells us, "We'll just have to hope we get some help in returning to the 24th Century somehow."

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Stranded In 2006 (Part One)

Starfleet are doing a bold experiment. They want to try and see if time travel can be perfected.

I'm more than a little worried, as the Enterprise senior staff have been chosen to operate the machinery.

Starfleet chiefs are watching behind screens from above.

Well away from danger.

We are all in the Timewarp Chamber at Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco. Each of the staff has a role to play; Geordi is monitoring engine flow, Worf is checking for overheating, Beverly is on hand for any medical emergencies, Data is looking at the computers, Riker is checking the temporal flow, Deanna on standby for extra resources, and I'm err..... supervising it all.

"Switch on the time portal" I say with authority, as if I what I going on.

A few electrical sparks seem to flash, like they do in the 'Frankenstein' movies.

"Status?" I ask everyone.

"Optimum capacity" shouts Geordi over the loud machine.

"Heating level" declares Worf.

"Computers operating correctly." states Worf.

"Temporal flow working." says Riker.

"Medical Kit full." declares Beverly.

"Full resources still available." adds Deanna limply.

Then Riker starts to look a little worried. The sweat is showing.

"Temporal flow starting to exceed parameters" he says alarmingly, "Starting to head towards danger level."

I notice that the Starfleet officials have already ran away out of the building. They have left us here."

"Engine overheating, temporal flow in danger level, computers overloading." Data tells me, "Captain, I seriously suggest we evacuat..."

There is a blinding blue flash and I can feel all my atoms coming apart.

Suddenly we all wake up; we are no longer in the Timewarp Chamber, but a dusty old building.

"Where are we." I ask.

"Actually, Captain." states Data, "The correct question should be when are we, which according to my chronometer is 29th January 2006."

I open the door and see a busy 21st street of San Francisco. Old petrol-driven cars are crawling along in traffic hold-ups. The Golden Gate Bridge is there, but no Starfleet Headquarters.

As Jim Lovell said, "Houston, we have a problem."

"What are we going to do?" wails Deanna, "We can't stay in this time period. I'm not capable of surviving here. The don't have the sort of shops we have in the 24th Century."

"I don't know yet , Counselor." I honestly tell her.

A scruffy man walks past, looks at our uniforms and drawls, "Wow! Cool threads, man!". he then sees Worf and starts running away.

We close the doors and have an Emergency Conference.

We've got to face the fact that we may be here for some time, perhaps for the rest of our lives." I tell them, "It's essential that we lead very low key lives so that we do not upset the timeline."

All of them agree, and try to decide what their future careers will be.

"I shall be a doctor in a hospital" decides Beverly.

"I shall be a psychiatrist." declares Deanna.

"I'll be a trombone player in a jazz band." says Riker.

"I will be a teacher in a school" Data decides.

"I'll be a cool DJ in a nightclub." states Geordi, "It could be quite cool."

"I will be a wrestler," says Worf, "I'll let then think my Klingon face is a mask."

"What about you, Captain?" asks Deanna, "What will you be doing in your new life?"

"I intend to be a Shakespearen actor," I loftily tell them all, "Yes, I shall tread the boards of the local theatre. The 21st Century will have the privilege of seeing me playing 'Hamlet."'

Deanna suddenly has a fit of giggles for no apparent reason."

"We still have our Com badges" I tell them all, "If we need to locate one of us in the city, you will be able to. Good luck!"

We all depart out of the building, about to face the 21st Century and our new careers.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

TWQ: Jumping The Shark

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) looks at 'Jumping The Shark'.

It is a phrase invented by tv companies to identify the point when a tv series reaches it's absolute peak and can only go down from then on. It originated from the tv series 'Happy Days', in which The Fonz jumps over a shark. It was said never to be as good again.

Can you identify some tv shows and the point in which it 'Jumped The Shark'?

My answers are:

Frasier: After Daphne found out that Niles had loved him, the show had lost part of it's edge.

ER: This show has consistantly deteriorated. It's finest hour was when Dr Crane tried to save the pregnant woman in the first series. All other storylines were thrown out for this episode.

The X Files: It's peak was reached when the aliens eliminated most of the conspirators in the aircraft hanger. After this, it limped along, with a poor last series, with the exception of the two part finale.

Only Fools & Horses (English comedy show): The episode 'The Jolly Boys Outing' had all the characters at their peak in this one. Afterwards, it became too sentimental, and was brought make after a five year break, which was a mistake.

Now it's over to you...


But before I go.....

Don't forget you can join the Federation by being part of my Group Map Federation You can also click to that point by using the 'Join The Federation' button on the right side of my Journal.

Thursday, January 26, 2006


We have another Starfleet Official coming aboard today.

Why do they always pick our ship? Is it because we are the flagship of the fleet that we get so many people come? Instead of exploring the stars, self-elected officials come aboard to tell us what to do.

A woman beams aboard. She is wearing a full dress uniform and looks very prim and proper.

"Hello Captain Picard," she says, "I am Lieutenant Veronica Sanders, from the Morals Division; the purpose of my visit is to assess the level of fraternisation within crew members. Starfleet are worried that too many personal relationships are developing on their ships and that this encourges morals to be loosened. As a result, proper discipline is not enforced"

"Welcome, Veronica" I say to her, and go to shake her hand. She pulls back quickly.

"What do you think you are doing?" she demands, "You try to address me as 'Veronica' and then try to hold my hand! That's a fine example to set to the rest of the crew!"

I go with her out of the transporter room and show her around the ship. Riker and Deanna approach. They are holding hands.

"What is that Commander doing with that woman!" she shouts and separates them.

"What's going on?" asks a puzzled Riker.

"Err...Number One, this is Lieutenant Veronica Sanders from the Morals Division of Starfleet. She's trying to ensure that morals aren't out of hand on the ship."

"Oh, er...no, Lieutenant, Counselor Troi here was just a little unsteady on her feet after feeling dizzy, weren't you, Deanna?"

"Umm....yes, that's right, Will, I mean sir."

Veronica seems more or less satisfied and we carry on walking.

Beverly approaches; oh dear.

"Hi, Jean-Luc" she says, "Are you ready for our date at the Enterprise cinema tonight then? I'm looking forward to it."

"What!" explodes Veronica, "You have assignations with the ship's Doctor? This will go down in my report!"

"Who's this sour faced Lieutenant?" asks Beverly. I tell her. Beverly quickly walks away.

Veronica and I carry on walking. Jennifer Baxter asks me to tell Data that their date this evening will have to be at 20:00. All this goes in Veronica's report.

Geordi approaches and says can he have tomorrow morning off as he and Trisha Lewis want to use the holodeck and go skiing. Something else for the book.

As we travel on, she sees Deanna kissing Worf. Veronica is speechless.

"Shall we go to Ten Forward?" I suggest. She agrees.

"Err...would you like to try this delicate little drink?" I wink at Guinan and give Veronica a Klingon Bloodwine and a couple of Bajoran Brandies. Before long, she is dazed.

"You know," she slurs, " You ur a moshed attratif mon"

"That's encouraging fraternisation isn't it, Lieutenant?"

"Ah, phooey!" she replies, "We'f all get to haf some fun, Captain...can I call you Jean-Luc?"

I indicate to Worf, who is nearby with his security officers.

"Mr Worf, will you escort our guest back to the transporter room and beam her back to Starbase 12 where she came from. See that her report 'goes' in the usual way."

"I understand what you mean, sir" replies Worf, and smiles as his security team support Veronica who staggers out singing 'Dont Dilly Dally On The Way."

We like to see that our guests have a good time!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Alexander's New Career

I've just had a message from Miss Price, who is Alexander's teacher. This is disturbing. I usually only get a call from her when there has been a problem.

I wonder what Alexander has done now?

Miss Price is there in the classroom. No one else is there. It's going to be one of those 'teacher-parent' discussions that everybody dislikes.

"Sit down, Lieutenant." she tells me, although she can't seem to look me in the eye.

"What is it, Miss Price?" I demand to know, "Has Alexander been throwing clay moulds across the classroom again? If he has, I can assure you he will be severely punished..."

"It's nothing like that." she tells me, " The fact is that today was Career Day. We asked each of the pupils what they wanted to be when they grew up."

"I know what Alexander will be when he grows up." I say confidentally, "He will be a Klingon warrior, fighting for our homeworld."

"Umm...that's not what he said he wanted to do." Miss Price quietly informs me.

"Well what DID he say he wanted to be?" I ask.

"A ballet dancer." she whispers and suddenly look away, as if she has found something to do, as my anger increases.

"A BALLET DANCER!" I shout, "What Klingon has ever been a ballet dancer! He will bring shame and dishonour to my family!"

I storm out out the classroom, and go to my quarters, where Alexander is.

"Why did you tell Miss Price you wanted to become a ballet dancer?" I ask my son.

"Because it's true, Father." he says, "I admire the grace and poise this elegant art brings. If you see it, you will be aware that it is a wonderful joy to ...."

"It brings shame, not joy, Alexander!" I angily tell him, "You should be learning to maim people with Klingon weapons, not dance around a stage with women in 'Swan Lake'!"

"I have been studying this book, Father" he tells me, "It is called 'Ballet for Beginners'. All the classic moves are there. All the steps are there; I'll go to the holodeck and start dancing with Margot Fonteyn and Darcey Bussell."

I hang my head in despair and decide to visit Deanna for advice.

I reach her office and enter.

"Worf!" she says, "What a pleasant surprise. My next appointment is in half an hour, so we might be able to have a little fun until then.."

"I haven't come for that, Deanna," I tell her, "The fact is, I have a problem with Alexander."

I inform her of everything that has happened.

"Worf" she mentions to me, "Every child has ambitions that sound unusual to the parent. Just let him follow it through. He may soon lose interest in it and be involved with Klingon weaponry or folklore again. Alternately, he could grow up to be a very good ballet dancer."

I groan and put my head in my hands.

I trudge back to my quarters, where Alexander is watching 'Giselle' on the videoscreen.

It can be very difficult being a parent.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Inquiry

Today an Inquiry is being held at Starbase 10 as to the behaviour of two Starfleet Officers on the 10th of this month on Deep Space Nine in which they were fighting each other.

The two Officers are Deanna Troi and Jadzia Dax.

Heading the Inquiry is Admiral De Sade, who is in charge of Discipline in Starfleet. Captain Sisko and I will also be there to investigate, as the we are responsible for the Officers concerned.

Sisko and I are seated at the table; De Sade marches in; he has a moustache, a goatee beard and long flowing hair.

"Where are the prisoners!" he demands.

"This is just an informal Inquiry, sir," I mention, "Usually in these things, we give them a modest verbal ticking off and nothing more is said."

De Sade mumbles disgustedly.

Deanna and Jadzia walk to the desks in front of us; they do not look at each other, but there is clearly tension between the two of them.

"Why aren't they in chains!" shouts De Sade, "They could escape at any moment!"

It's a perfectly secure place, sir." says Sisko, "They are not likely to go anywhere."

"Clap 'em irons, we would have done years ago" De Sade mumbles to himself.

"May I ask the first question, sir." I ask him. He agrees.

"Now, Counselor" I say to Deanna, "You were seen by Captain Sisko and myself fighting Lieutenant Dax at Deep Space Nine on the 10th of this month. Can you tell us why this took place?"

"She stole my man!" she angily tells me.

"Did not!" replies Jadzia, "Worf is my man, not yours!"

"No, he isn't!"

"Yes he is!"

The two of them look at each other in increasing anger, repeating their claims until the inevitable happens. They both jump out of the seats and start fighting each other in front of our table. They are pulling at each other's hair and trading punches.

The clerks at the door rush and pull them apart until they are both seated again. They hiss at each other; their carefully prepared hair is a mess.

"That's it!" shouts De Sade, "These two are worse than any hardened criminals I've seen. Place a guard next to each of them to see they don't move."

"Is it my understanding, Counselor?" I ask Deanna, "That you have a romantic association with Commander William Riker?"

"Err...yes." she haltingly replies.

"Then why do you need to have Lieutenant Worf as a second romance.

"It can be quiet, Captain" replies Deanna, "Will goes on all these missions. Worf is just a err... companion when he is away.

"Is that what you call it?" laughs Jadzia sarcastically. The two women exchange glances angily again.

"Now Lieutenant Dax," Sisko asks Jadzia, "Is it not true that you sent Lieutenant Worf a series of mystery love notes, and that you revealed you were the author of them when he visited Deep Space Nine?"

"Yes, that is what happened," replies Jadzia, "When I told him, he kissed me and said he would move to the station at the earliest opportunity."

"That's not true!" shouts Deanna, "Worf told me that he would always be on the Enterprise."

"You've got a shock coming, honey!" sneers Jadia.

The guards have to hold the two of them back.

"I'm going to send them both to a Penal Colony." says De Sade to us both, "Starfleet can't have this sort of indiscipline."

"There may be another solution, sir." I suggest to him. He listens and agrees.

"Call Lieutenant Worf." he declares to the court.

Worf enters the room, sees both Deanna and Jadzia and looks a little worried. he appears like he would rather be fighting twenty Romulans single handed.

"Now Lieutenant Worf," says De Sade, "You know the claims that these two women are making. They both profess to have a romantic attachment to you. What I am asking is which woman are you in love with?"

"Err..., Admiral" he haltingly answers, "I am very fond of both women romantically. Lieutenant Dax is a beautiful woman, whom I have declared an interest in. However, I am based on the Enterprise; Counselor Troi is wonderful and I will be more than happy to stay with her while I am there."

"Victory!" shouts Deanna, who laughs at Jadzia, who hisses back at her.

"So it is settled." says De Sade, " As long as Worf is on the Enterprise, he shall be with Counselor Troi."

The three of us leave our tables, with De Sade still saying they should all have gone to a Penal Colony.

Deanna and Jadzia have to both be escorted out as they still look as if they will start fighting at any moment.

"I'll get him, Troi, see if I do!" threatens Jadzia, "I'll be back!"

I wonder what Riker will make of all this?

Saturday, January 21, 2006

TWQ: Daring Deeds & Join The Federation

Welcome to my 150th post!

This weekend, I will be asking about those things we have wanted to do:

What daring deeds have you ever done in your life? Which ones would you like to do, but never have?

My answer is:

The bravest thing I ever did was take a ride for five miles on the back of a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Though I adore them, for medical reasons, I could never drive one. Someone asked me once to get one the back. I held on with a very tight grip as we whizzed along the road at top speed.

I would like to take a ride in a hot air balloon. There have always been some about 100 miles away, but have never gone through with it. The same is now with piloting a glider.

Now it's over to you...

But first...

One more thing...

If you look to the right side of the Journal, you will see a new feature called 'Join The Federation'. This is my Frappr Map, called 'The Federation'. Could you please add yourselves on to this? It will require you to register, but I hope you will, as I'd like as many friends as possible to join. Thanks.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Time And Motion Study

Today, Starfleet are sending a Time & Motion expert to see how efficient we are at running the Enterprise.

Knowing my luck, this will be the day that everything breaks down.

At 08:00, a man beams on board; he has a clipboard with a pad attached and also a stopwatch and pen.

"Good morning Mr...? I say to him, trying to shake his hand.

"The name is Jordan Tonks," he says quickly, and ignoring my handshake, "formalities cost time; the ship would be running a lot better if we dispensed with formalities." He writes something on his pad and notices Worf.

"What is this Officer doing here? Should he not be working elsewhere? His energies can be channeled into something better than standing around."

"This is Lieutenant Worf." I tell Tonks, "He is Head of Security, and is here to protect us."

"Against what?" demands Tonks, "Send him to do something else, Captain."

I indicate to Worf, who has that irritated look and mumbles something I didn't quite catch in the Klingon language.

"Let's go to Engineering." says Tonks.

We arrive there.

Tonks looks around and makes a few notes on his pad; he also shakes his head. Geordi comes over.

"What is it, Captain?" he asks.

"This is Jordan Tonks, a Time & Motion expert" I tell him.

"Why do you have so many people working here, Chief Engineer?" he asks, "Can't it run with just a few individuals?"

"Generally so." Geordi replies, with a slightly annoyed look, "But we need to keep it running at optimum efficiency."

Tonks tuts and writes a few more things down.

"To the Bridge." he demands.

As we travel, children walk past.

"And what job do THEY so, Captain?" he asks sarcastically.

"This is a family ship" I answer, "Therefore some of the crew have their children with them so they don't lose contact."

"A waste of Starfleet time and resources; the effort used to teech and maintain these children could be put to better use.

I've started to get very irritated with Mr Tonks.

We arrive at the Bridge. He looks in horror at all the people working there.

"This is ridiculous, Captain. What are all these people doing on the Bridge? They look at their own screens and never do anything. You have a Counselor sitting there. Can't the crew sort out their own problems. You have an android sitting there; shouldn't his job be given to a live person?"

That's done it!

"I tell you what the only waste on resources I know, Tonks " I tell him, "That's when Starfleet spend all their time on training people who can't do anything except Time & Motion'. Your arrival here has only delayed us carrying out more important missions."

"Now Captain, I think you're being a little...." stutters Tonks.

"Mr Worf, if you're not doing anything else right now, would you kindly escort our guest off the ship."

"With pleasure, Sir." says Worf with a smile.

I sit down in the chair, quite satisfied.

"Feeling better now, Sir?" Riker asks.

"Yes, Number One." I reply, "I've learnt that those who Can, join Starfleet, and those who Can't become Time & Motion Experts."

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Fizzbin Championships (Part Two)

Damon Bak, Vlargh, Syrena and myself enter the Arena, along with the Adjudicator. The crowds are cheering. I hear a distinctive voice.


Jennifer Baxter is cheering me in the front row; show has a megaphone.

Syrena looks sneeringly and asks, "Is she your woman?"

I think for a moment and say, "Yes."

"Ha! She replies, "She is nothing compared to me; you shall regret turning me down."

The four of us sit down on the green baize table; the Adjudicator sits on an elevated podium, where he has a clear view of the table, and is able to spot any infringements.

"Let the Fizzbin Championships commence!" he announces to the audience.

We started with an argument about Klingon history, which Vlargh won, so he was declared to be the Dealer, and the play revolved counterclockwise.

The seating was Vlargh, Data, Syrena and Dak and went in that order of play.

"Where is my book of the Rules of Aquisition?" asked Dak.

"Books are not allowed at the gametable." stated the Adjudicator.

Vlargh and I had our seven cards, while the others had six.

Things looked promising;I had two sevens, so already I had a Half Fizzbin. The others were being very careful about their hands, and it was difficult to tell whether they had anything better.

Dak threw a four out, as it was worth nothing; syrena threw out two Queens in disgust.

At the end of the hand, it was found that Vlargh also had two sevens, so according to the rules we had to have a fight. His Klingon strength was very powerful, but I managed to pin him to the floor.

I had won the first hand.

"Best of two out of three?" the others said; this is a traditional call in Fizzbin.

"COME ON DATA!!" screamed Jennifer.

"Will the female in the audience kindly refrain from using a megaphone, otherwise I shall have to have her ejected from the auditorium!" announced the Adjudicator.

The next hand started; this time, I was the Dealer.

I had three sixes; this was bad. It was a Shronk. If I still had these at the end of the hand, I would be disqualified.

I quickly managed to disperse of that card; it looked like I could soon have a Full Fizzbin.

Syrena looked at me.

"He might not have the nerve, but I can beat anybody!"

The hand was coming to an end; I had two Jacks, a King and a Two. A Full Fizzbin. My two opponents were starting to sweat. If any of us had a Shronk now, it would mean disqualification.

The last card was drawn. I still had a Fizzbin.

"Syrena has a Shronk." the Adjudicator declared, "She is disqualified."

Bak and Vlargh dropped out; they each shown their Marriage Certificates.

"Lieutenant Commander Data is declared the winner." announced the Adjudicator; at this point, Jennifer Baxter ran up and kissed me.

Captain Picard came up to me.

"Well done, Data."

"Thank you, Sir." I replied, "Would you like to play a hand of Fizzbin when we get back to the Enterprise."

"Err..thank you, Data, but I think I'll stick to Poker."

Sunday, January 15, 2006

The Fizzbin Championships (Part One)

We are heading to Starbase 10 to participate in the Fizzbin Championships.

This is the game devised by Captain Kirk in the 23rd Century. It is now the official card game of the Federation. A few still play Poker, but this is the game to win.

The player we are sending is Data. He is our best player as with his positronic brain, he is the only member of the Enterprise who fully understands the rules.

The Official Rules of Fizzbin are as follows:

+++ The dealer is determined by argument and he goes first, the
play moving counterclockwise around the table.

+++ If the game is being played on the floor, play moves clockwise.

+++ Each player gets six cards, except the dealer and the player
to the dealer's right, who both get seven.

+++ The second card dealt to the dealer and the player to his
right get turned up, except on Tuesdays, when the third card is turned up.

+++ A final card is dealt face up to each additional player.
These form the "discard" piles, one for each person.

+++ There are four kinds of winning hands in fizzbin, each
successively beating the one before it. They are as follows:

*** ONE-HALF FIZZBIN consists of J J, A A, or 7 7 of any suit.

*** FIZZBIN (or FULL FIZZBIN) occurs when a player holds J J, K
and 2 of any suit; A A, K and 2; or 7 7, K and 2 - except at night,
when the 2 is replaced by a 4.

*** THREE-QUARTER is 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, and 10 - all red. At night,
however, they must be black cards.

*** ROYAL FIZZBIN is the highest rank. It consists of J J, A A, K,
and 2; or J J, 7 7, K, and 2. At night, the sequence is the same
except Q and 4 replace K and 2, respectively. (The odds of getting a
royal fizzbin have never been calculated.)

+++ At the end of a hand, when the last card is drawn, if one or
more players have attained the same highest rank the game is given
over to the one who first pins his opponent to the floor.

+++ Any Q or 4 that are dealt to a player in daytime must be
immediately thrown out, as they are worth nothing.

+++ All K and 2 are tossed out at night for the same reason.

+++ A player may not replace them but loses the cards he throws away.

+++ After each hand, however, these cards must be reshuffled into
the pack. They serve the important purpose of irritating the players.

+++ In daytime, a player drawing K or 2 from the fresh pack or
discard piles may draw another card. Likewise, another card is
allowed when Q or 4 is drawn at night.Should anyone have in his hand
three cards of a kind at the end of a hand, a "shronk" is declared and
he is disqualified.

The sequence of play is thus:

*** A player draws a card from either the regular pack or one of the
top cards he can see on the discard piles.

*** After arranging his new hand he must leave one card on any of the
discard piles he chooses.

*** If someone draws a card which allows him to take another he
must show that card to all other players (although he need not draw
again at all if he chooses).

+++ It is possible to get several cards in succession in this
manner, but after completion he need only discard one card.

+++ The hand has ended when the last card has been drawn from the
regular deck and no other cards may be taken. At this point a
participant may drop out only if he or she is married and has children.

+++ Each game lasts only one hand unless the winner accepts the
traditional challenge: "Best two out of three?"


Data and I walk in.

"Do you think you can win, Data?" I ask him.

"I shall endeavour to do my best, Captain." he replies.

An Official walks up to us, with a badge marked 'Fizzbin Championships on his chest.

"Ah, you must be Lieutenant Commander Data." he says, "I am the Adjudicator. Let me take you to meet your fellow players."

We go into a waiting room, where there are three individuals sitting around.

"This is Damon Bak" states The Adjudicator, indicating a wiry Ferengi.

"I intend to get all the profit I can." says Bak, "The Laws of Acquisition will be applied thoroughly by me."

"This is Vlargh." the Adjudicator continues, pointing to a fat Klingon, who looks at Data disgustedly.

"So the best that Starfleet can offer is an android?" he sneers. "I shall take great pleasure in beating you."

"This is Syrena." says the Adjudicator, pointing to a beautiful woman with long dark hair.

"Well hello!" she purrs gently to Data, "Shall we get together after the game?"

"I have to tell you that Jennifer Baxter is my girlfriend at the mom..." replies Data.

"You cannot reject me!" interrupts Syrena, "No one rejects Syrena. You will be beaten at Fizzbin for doing so."

"Now that you have got to know each other." says the Adjudicator, "Shall we go into the Main Hall? Everybody is waiting for the contest to begin.

"Good luck, Data." I call out as the four go in.

He may well need it.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

TWQ: Birthday Presents & The Captain's Birthday

Today is my birthday! As a result, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks this:

What is the best and the most unusual birthday present you have received?

This is my answer:

The best birthday present I ever had was the party that took place when I was 21. The whole family, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends etc were together, with a great disco. Everybody thought it was the best party they had ever been to.

The most unusual present was when I was 26. My parents had secretly booked a kissogram girl to visit me at the office where I worked. Everybody knew except me; as I was working away on my computer, a barely clad woman sneaked across the office and said , "Hello!" I have never been so surprised. Cameras were clicking away. My father was watching from the window behind me!

Now it's over to you...


What is going on?

It's my birthday, and no one on the Enterprise has said anything to me at all about it,not even the senior staff.

They are just saying, "Good morning, Captain." and the usual formalities.

If someone doesn't say "Happy Birthday!" soon, I shall put everyone on double shifts...no, make that TRIPLE shifts."

Now that's strange; I'm walking around the decks and it all seems so very quiet.

Just what IS going on?

I get a message on my Com from Riker.

"Captain, we have an emergency in Ten Forward; we need you here right away!"

Can't Riker handle it himself? He usually gets in a panic if the replicators break down and isn't able to get his supply of donuts.

I enter Ten Forward; it's all dark.


A mass of voices shout before the lights come on; it's the entire crew.

The senior staff come forward; Beverly speaks,

"Sorry, Jean-Luc, for the little deception, but we decided to have your birthday party here."

Deanna brings forward a large cake with several candles alight; I won't say how many, but it looks like Worf is ready with Security in case anything sets alight.

Riker joins the band they have hired, who are Arnold and The Astronauts. Everybody sings:

"Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, Captain Picard,
Happy birthday, to you."

As usual, I get a little embarassed when I'm the centre of attention, like when I visit the children on Captain's Day.

"Err...thank you very much, everybody."

The crew then get to another day of music and dancing

'Birthday Boogaloo' gets them going...

What a super day it is;
the one day of the year
we get to celebrate the fact
that you're even here -- it's your birthday!
Happy birthday to you!

We're gonna have some fun today;
it's all because of you.
So grab your friends and make 'em dance
a birthday boogaloo -- on your birthday!
Happy birthday to you!

Any other day is just
any other day of the year,
but today we want to celebrate
'cause we're so thankful you're even here
-- oh yeah!

Bake yourself a birthday wish
and blow the candles out.
Do a backward somersault
and jump and twist and shout -- it's your birthday!
Happy birthday to you!

Before your birthday's over
there's one thing I want to do;
if I may, I'd love to dance
a boogaloo with you -- on your birthday!
Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!
Do the birthday boogaloo!

It's your birthday!
Happy birthday to you!

After that, we spend the time playing Twister, which left the crew in a tangle. If we had an alien invaders at that time, there could be a problem.

Lastly, Beverly comes on in a shimmering dress like Marilyn Monroe's and sings huskily and slowly:

"Hap-py birth-day to you,
Hap-py birth-day to you,
Hap-py birth-day, Cap-tain Pi--card,
Hap--py bir---thday, to... you."

I needed some Bajoran Brandies and Klingon Bloodwine then.

When it is all over, Beverly kisses me and whispers, "Happy Birthday, Jean-Luc."

I guess it's been a great Birthday!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Birthday Meeting

As Jean-Luc has gone in the holodeck for a couple of hours to practice on his horseriding skills, I've convened a special meeting of the senior staff to try and solve a problem we are all having.

What are we going to get Jean-Luc for his birthday on the 14th?

"He's such a difficult person to get a present for." says Riker, "The Captain isn't satisfied with replicated items. He wants the real thing. That genuine First Edition Shakespeare book was a lot of trouble to obtain. What's worse, I had to negotiate with a Ferengi."

"Would any of you like to put some suggestions forward, and we'll consider them?" I tell them all.

Data looks blank.

Geordi looks about to say something, then changes his mind.

"Would the Captain like an ancient weapon?" suggests Worf, "They can look very honourable. The ones in my quarters certainly do."

"I agree, they do." agrees Deanna, then suddenly says, "...I er...mean I'm sure they do."

Her face is slightly reddened.

"I don't think that's what the Captain exactly likes." I tell them, "After all, weaponry has never been something he's fond of."

"How about a weekend pass to Riga IV, the pleasure planet?" suggests Geordi, "he can have all sorts of fun there."

"He would never like that!" I quickly tell him.

I'm not having Jean-Luc gallivanting around that planet!

"What about a surprise party?" Deanna declares, "We could pretend we have forgotten his birthday, and suddenly get him into Ten Forward, and all shout 'SURPRISE!'"

"I like the sound of that" I mention.

"Do you think the Captain likes surprises?" asks Riker.

"Well, no he won't, but I'm sure as soon as it gets under way, he'll enjoy it."

"Why is it people want to surprise a person on a birthday?" inquires a puzzled Data, "Surely they already know what day it is?"

"Yes, Data." says Deanna, "But it's all part of the fun.

Data still looks puzzled, as we leave the room, and get ready to organise the surprise occasion on the 14th.

Jean-Luc... your birthday is about to start.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Fighting For Worf

Today, I'm gonna bag me a Klingon!

Two fortunate things have happened; the Enterprise is stopping by here at Deep Space Nine for a few hours en route back to Sector 01. Secondly, the Troi woman has gone to the Counselors Conference at a nearby Starbase.

It's the perfect opportunity to get Worf, and take him from her. After that black eye she gave me last time, it's my turn.

Us Trills are very sneaky, especially when one has lived as long as I have with various bodies. This Dax symbiant has picked up a few tricks.

I told Sisko that I'd like to be the person who welomes the Enterprise party on board. Odo complained about security, but Sisko said that we don't need to bother with that, as they are members of the Federation.

So here I am, with Sisko,aitng for them to come aboard.

Picard, Riker, La Forge and Worf come in; already I've got my eye on him!

"Welcome to Deep Space Nine, Captain." says Sisko, "This is Lieutenant Dax".

"Pleased to meet you, Lieutenant." says Picard.

I exchange greetings like an automation until he comes to Worf.

"...And this is Lieutenant Worf" he states.

"Lieutenant Dax." he says, with a slight glint in his eye.

"May I show Lieutenant Worf around the station, so that we err.... can discuss the security we have here." I casually mention to Sisko.

"An excellent idea" remarks Sisko, as if he's just thought of it, "I'll take the others to the Captain's Room."

How naive he is! He'll accept anything!

Worf and I walk around the station. I start to chat to him.

"Worf, did you receive a few love notes a while ago from someone?"

"Err, yes I did, Lieutenant."

"Call me Jadzia. That was me, Worf. I sent you those notes because I wanted you, and I'm asking you to stay on the station."

"You are very....direct, Jadzia."

"I believe in getting to the point. " I tell him with a smile, and then kiss him.

"I have too many commitments, Jadzia" he weakly replies.

"Do you mean as a Lieutenant on the Enterprise or because of that Troi woman?" I angrily tell him.

"Errr...if the situation changes and circumstances need me to be on the station, I will gladly be here with you, but until then..."

He grips me and kisses me. What a catch!

"THERE HE IS!!" shouts a furious female voice.

I turn, and the Troi woman is marching up towards us. She slaps Worf on the cheek and the two of us have a cat fight on the ground, pulling at each other's hair.

Worf is looking bemused, like he doesn't know what to do, although I think he likes to have two women fighting over him.



We are pulled apart by Sisko and Picard, who have arrived on the scene. Troi and I have given each other black eyes, and our hair is all over the place.

"What is going on?" they demand to know.

"Riker told me in a message." says Troi, "That the Enterprise would be stopping at Deep Space Nine. As soon as I knew this, I knew what the Trill would try to do, so I grabbed the first Shuttle I could from the Conference and came out here."

Both Captains tell the two of us that our behaviour is hardly befitting to our rank, and that we need to sort our personal lives out.

The Enterprise party, including Worf leaves the station.

I'll net him next time....AND get my revenge on Troi!


What's this? A message from Friday's Child addressed to Captain Picard asking for his five weirdest habits?

As he's not around, I'll answer it instead.

1: I regularly go in the holosuite and punch a hologram of the Troi woman.

2: I love to tell Odo, "You haven't got your face right today."

3: I always tell Sisko, "Actually, I never liked baseball."

4: I try and count how many spots there are on the Jadzia body. It's different every time.

5: When I massage Quark's ears, he charges 10% less.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Ensign Interview

Today, I'm interviewing to members of Starfleet Academy who have applied to be an Ensign on the Enterprise.

I ought to leave this sort of Riker; after all, he is responsible for personel. However, I like to see the crew I've got. Riker would accept anyone who gave him a free donut.

I sit behind the desk, trying to look important, as I await the first applicant.

Deanna comes in with a furtive looking male youth.

"Captain, this is William Bradley." Deanna tells me as she leaves the room.

"Hello, William" I say, as I hold me hand out to shake his, "I'm Captain Picard."

"Call me Biff." he replies, as he slouches down on the seat, ignores my hand and starts to chew gum.

"We don't chew gum in Starfleet." I mention to him.

Biff takes the gum out and places it underneath the chair.

"Now, William, why did you join Starfleet Academy in the first place."

"My parents sent me there," he replies, "They thought it would keep me out of trouble. I was always ending up in the penal colonies."

"Why do you wish to be on the Enterprise, and what would you want to do here.?"

"Well," he says eagerly, "It's a great chance to zap a few aliens out of existence. I would love to start using a phaser on them. Set on 'kill', of course! I think 'Security' is the best place."

"William!" I tell him, "May I remind you that the Federation is a group based on harmony and peaceful co-existence. We strive to preserve life on our missions, not to destroy it."

"Yeah." Biff comments, "But not everybody wants to preserve the Federation's life. You need a few tough guys around to see off the enemy. That's where I come in."

"Err...thanks, William" I reply, "You can leave now."

Biff departs from the from, after first taking his chewing gum from underneath the seat. He looks rather pleased with how it all went.

Deanna returns with a 6 ft tall blond girl wearing a long red dress slit to the waist, with a revealing top."

"Um...Captain, this is Lola Deloras" says Deanna; she looks in disgust as she leaves the room.

"Miss Deloras" I inform her, "Your clothing is not suitable for an Ensign interview, and does not follow Starfleet guidelines."

"Oh really?" she says seductively, "I think it's just perfect."

She leans across the desk until I am a few inches away from her.

"Err...sit down, Miss Doloras, and we'll start the interview." I nervously say to her.

"Call me Lola." she says with a purr.

"Er, yes....Lola, why did you join Starfleet Academy?"

"So that I could be part of the Federation; I've always believed in mutual harmony, togetherness...anything like that."

"Umm..very good, Lola." I say to her, "Why do you want to be on the Enterprise, and what would you want to do here?"

"This ship is the best in Starfleet; you are the best Captain. We could spread that harmony together. I would best in 'Communications', don't you think? I've always believed in First Contact."

Lola leans across the desk again.

"Errr...ummmm, yes, thank you, Lola"

Lola slowly stands up and walks towards the door; just before she leaves, she winks at me and departs.

Riker comes in afterwards.

"What did you think of the applicants, Captain?"

"They were remarkably alike, Number One." I reply, "Both scare me in different ways. I think we'll post them to Deep Space Nine where they will be out of trouble."

"What do you think Captain Sisko will say?" Riker says.

"He probably won't speak to me again."

Saturday, January 07, 2006

TWQ: Musical Intros

The Weekend Question (TWQ) this week asks about the musical starts to great records:

Can you name at least five (can be as many as you like) songs with instantly recognisable musical introductions before the lyrics even start?

These are my answers:

1: 'A Whiter Shade Of Pale' by Procul Harum

2: 'Whiskey In The Jar' by Thin Lizzy

3: 'Crocodile Rock' by Elton John

4: 'All You Need Is Love' by The Beatles

5: 'Pinball Wizard' by The Who

Now it's over to you...


Before I go...

The Weblog Awards ( Bloggies ) are taking their last nominations. Tuesday is the deadline. There are all sorts of categories, and you must nominate at least 3 different blogs (eg me, yourself & 1 other).

Don't delay...nominate today!


Craziequeen has sent this MeMe that could not be repelled, despite my best efforts.

Four jobs you've had in your life:

Actually, they've all been for the same company in variations.

Four movies you'd watch over and over:

The Hours (Great story and Nicole)
The Godfather trilogy (it's an offer I couldn't refuse)
Lord Of The Rings trilogy (brilliant fantasy)
The Others (Nicole again)

Four places I've lived:

Starfleet Academy, the Stargazer, the Enterprise

Four tv shows you love to watch:

Cold Case

Four places you've been on vacation:

Riza Prime
Riga IV
Klingon homeworld
Travolta (the disco planet)

Four websites you visit daily (not including my blog)


Dose Of Xtessa

Mrs Mogul
Professor Xavier's Blog

I visit the others just as much as the ones above, if I can.

Four of your favourite foods: (not replicated)

Bacon and eggs
Cheese on toast
Fried chicken

Four places I would rather be right now.

On holiday with Bev
Is there anywhere else?

Four bloggers you are tagging:

Sorry, CQ, that's one thing I'm NOT doing!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Lost And Found

Today, I put my entry in for Vampirella's Dance Competition. Click her blog to find out how well Beverly and I did!


The Enterprise is heading at maximum warp to a small planet named Orion 3 on the rim of the Alpha Quadrant. Aliens have reported thar a colony of humans has been sighted there.

"A colony of humans could not be on the planet." states Data in his best know-it-all voice. We have not established a group anywhere in that sector. The aliens must be mistaken."

"Nonetheless, Mr Data, it is up to us to investigate."

Two hours later, we had arrived.

"Planet Orion 3" Data announces. "Standard Orbit"

As if there is any other sort we use when we get to a planet!

"Where is commander Riker?" I ask the computer.

"Commander Riker is in Ten Forward."

I called him on the Com, "Put that donut down, Number One, we need to go on an away mission."

"How did you know I was..?" asks Riker.

"You always are" I reply. "It'll be the Enterprise gym for you when we get back."

"Captain." Data informs me, "I've done a scan of the planet surface, and it confirms there are over 40 humans in a small island area. There are also remnants of a 21st century aeroplane there."


Myself, Riker, Data, Beverly, and Deanna prepare for the away mission and beamed down to where the plane is.

We analyse the plane.

"This is the remnants of a plane that disappeared on it's way from Sydney to Los Angeles in the early 21st Century. It was never found." Data tells us.

"Hey! Who are you!" says a few voices behind us.


A group of assorted individuals come out behind the trees.

"I'm Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise." I announce in my usual assertive voice.

"Hey! A spaceman, doc. That's all we need."

"Keep a lid on it, Sawyer!"

"Let's hear what the man has to say" says one woman.

"You would say that, freckles. Are you starting to like bald men instead of the doctor? What till Jack hears about that!"

"Maybe he knows how well the Driveshaft album sales are doing." says one young man.

"I don't care" sniffs a young blonde woman, "I'm going to do some more sunbathing."

"I think he is here to help us" says one bald man. "These people have come a long way. We should listen to them."

"I agree, Locke." delares another, who appeared to be the leader, "How did you get here; we didn't see your boat? Did you fly here?"

"Er..sort of..." I say. This was going to be a tough one. I don't there was a class for dealing with this sort of thing.

"I'm Jack" he announces, "Can you tell us what's going on? You said you were from a STARship?
"Well, what year do you think it is?" I ask him.

"2005 of course" he replies.

"Welcome to the 24th Century. You're on the Planet Orion 3 on the rim of the Alpha Quadrant" I tell them.

There was a stunned silence.

"Hey dude, you're putting us on." comments one rather large man, "You'll have to do better than that.

"It seems your areoplane passed through a space/time vortex during your flight and crash landed on this planet." Data tells them.

"Oh, man, that's just great!" sneers Sawyer, "A world full of ray guns and robots. I ain't ready for that. Although the women ain't bad." he looks at Deanna and Beverly approvingly, much to the annoyance of Riker and myself.

"We can introduce you into 24th Century ways" tells Deanna.

The group go into a huddled discussion; take a few looks at us, shake their heads and carry on talking. Eventually, Jack comes towards us.

"Sorry, Captain." he tells us, "we've unanimously decided to stay here. We reckon that by staying here we can escape the same way we came and through the space/time vortex and back to the 21st Century."

We beam back, leaving the humans there.

"Do you think they will find a way back home, Captain?" asks Riker.

"I don't know, Number One, but they look such an odd sort, they'll either escape or drive each other crazy."

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

In The Garden


All the cadets are now returning to Starfleet Academy after their Christmas break.

That means more trouble for me, I can tell you!

While they've been out having a great time doing who-knows-what, I've had to keep these Gardens in order; after all, they don't do it by themselves.

The authorities just expect them to always look like that, no matter what, but I tell you, if there is one blade of grass that isn't the right length, they look pityingly at me and whisper to themselves, "Maybe it's time to retire the old boy."

They're not getting me out of the way that easily!

When I started here, er....so many years ago, the place was a shambles. It looked like a primeval jungle. The authorites were a little worried about it all. However, they noticed that I had a trowel, weedkiller and lawnmower, and so asked me if I'd like to be the gardener here.

Well, all this is my work, and don't you forget it. I keep a careful watch to make sure nothing underhand goes on. Plenty does, I can tell you.

These cadets are so lovesick, the little vandals always express their adoration at the cost of my Garden. A rose disappears, or a tree might get hacked. The other day, I caught that know-all Wesley Crusher carving 'Wes loves Marlena' on a rare tree. I gave him a big clip on the ear for that.

The worst thing, is it isn't just the students. I also caught Captain Picard carving 'JLP luvs Bev' on the same tree. I gave him a clip on BOTH ears for that. The little whippersnapper ought to know better.

What are my trees? A graffitti zone?

A lot of the little devils ask me why I've never gone for a Starfleet Commission, and been a Captain or something like that. Well, when I was, er...younger, I wanted to do all that, went through the works etc. When it got to the Interview, they said that 'My talents were ideally suited to the Garden', and as I was doing such a good job, they thought I should stay there.

What an insult!

It's the case of doing too well in something, so they don't move me. No one else would do the gardening job, so here I am. No matter that I could have been Captaining my own ship against marauding aliens a long time ago.

The only aliens I get to fight against are those threatening the growth of the plants.

Still, I'm the centre of all knowledge in Starfleet; while I'm working innocently in the Garden, I ever every sort of secret being qietly discussed between cadets right up to Admirals. The Federation President has whispered a few things as well.

Excuse me; all those thoughts about neing turned down for a Commission has left me in a bad mood, and I have to clip a cadet around the year to feel better again.

I wonder if Wesley Crusher is around?

Sunday, January 01, 2006

The New Year's Eve Party

We've got to stop having these parties; they are bad for our health.

I wake up in a stupor again, just like I did at the Christmas Party.

Firstly, I ask the computer who I am; it tells me, and I go to the mirror to see a dishevelled mess. Time for a sonic shower.

It pulls me round and I try to remember all the events of New Year's Eve. Those Klingon Bloodwines and Bajoran Brandies....

Now I'm starting to remember....


The night started out very promisingly, with everybody in high anticipation of a good time ahead. We were waiting for the band to come.

There was a disturbance outside. Quite a ruckus. Surely it was a little early for any high spirits by the crew?

Then I realised it. Dan Dreg and his band The Dregs Of Society were here.

Dan slouched in, with dirty torn clothes, long spiked hair and safety pins all over his face. The rest of his group were similarly attired.

Worf was looking concerned and already had his Security team on full alert, as if the Borg were about bo board the Enterprise.

Dan reached the microphone and unleased a torrent of abuse at the audience there.

"There were a few Earth words in that sentence I hadn't heard before." said Deanna.

Data looked puzzled, and it seemed he might be coming to ask me about some of the words later on; I'll pass that job on to Riker.

"Introducing me group.." said Dan to everybody, "on the drums is Davy Dreg, on the guitars with me is Dirk Dreg, and on the keyboards, is me sis, Davinia Dreg."

"They are all Dregs." commented Beverly.

"No one will dispute that." I replied.

The Dregs Of Society launched into their first number, 'Noise Rules' it was 130 decibels.

"Is the somewhat exceeding permitted sound levels for Starfleet vessels, Captain." inquired Data.

"You could say that!" I had to yell in his ear.

The band then started to play 'Scruff Supremo'. This was 140 decibels. People were starting to pass out. Beverly was attending to them.

After that, Dan then yelled some more abuse at the audience, smashed one of his guitars over Dirk's head. They had a fight on the stage.

"That's it!" I said to Worf, "Get the team in, Mr Worf! You know what to do."

The Security Officers moved in and grabbed Dan and the rest of the Dregs and carried them out of the room screaming.

"That will fill the Brig up." I said.

"Yes'" said Riker, "But what are we going to do now? The New Year's Eve Party has only just started."

"Gather the senior staff together." I instructed,"There's only one thing we can do. The show must go on!"

I grouped the staff together and told them that we were going to have to be the band from now on.

"Riker, you're on the trombone, Worf, you're on the drums, Deanna and Beverly, you are the backing chorus, Geordi, you're on keyboards, and Data, you're on guitar."

We started off with 'Groovin' With The Federation', a classic of the 24th Century.

Then Beverly and I sang our duet of 'Simply the Best':

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wild
When you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
And it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong baby

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead

In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place

You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go

That got the party back on track, and we launched into playing 'Spaceman':

i see your face on television, almost every day
in magazines and on the big screen
close yet far away
i wonder why you choose those others
and you never come to call on me
when i'm the one who's waiting for you
i really need you - please pick me!

spaceman, oh spaceman!
come rescue me from this!
calling all aliens!
come rescue me!

remember that night at my window
when i waved at you?
i must have been only five, or so,
but i never forgot you.

i wonder why you choose those others
and you never come to call on me.
when i'm the one who's waiting for you
i really need you - please pick me!

spaceman, oh spaceman!
come rescue me from this!
calling all aliens!
come rescue me!

We kept on playing throughout the night, not noticing the Klingon Bloodwines and the Bajoran Brandies we were having.

Guinan was getting very concerned about the Bloodwine possibly spilling on to the new carpet that had been installed in Ten Forward over Christmas.

Eventually, midnight approached and we played 'Auld Lang Syne'

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne? And days of auld lang syne, my dear,
And days of auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pu'd the gowans fine.
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne,
We've wandered mony a weary foot,
Sin' auld ang syne.
We twa hae sported i' the burn,
From morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
Sin' auld lang syne, my dear,
Sin' auld lang syne.
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.
And ther's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Data kissed Jennifer, Geordi kissed Trisha, Deanna kissed Riker...and Worf, and I kissed Beverly.

"Happy New Year" we all said to each other and the Enterprise crew.


And a Very Happy New Year to everyone out there. May the coming year bring you peace and prosperity.