Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Bev & Deanna Go Trekking (Part Two)



Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

I don't know why I was so enthusiastic for Deanna and I to go exploring on Deva VI when we had some time off. She was keen on shopping in the mall, as usual, but no, I took her to this remote planet, and now we're in all sorts of trouble.

We've been fired on by someone from an above cliff top; we've hidden behind some rocks, and now someone is coming up to us....

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"It's good to see you again, Beverly and Deanna" says the voice.

I look, and can't believe who it is; she has long red hair and is dressed in an all-red command outfit with Captain's stars.



It's me...or more likely Captain Beverly Howard from the alternate universe, where the Federation is known as the Federation Female Empire, as it is ruled by women.

"What are you doing here, Bev...errr...Captain Howard?" Deanna tactfully asks her.

"It's all the fault of that Captain Picard!" she replies angrily, "When he was aboard, he encouraged my loyal devoted follower Commander Troi to turn against me, with lies that men and women and should work together instead of being dominant over men. As a result, Troi and her minions put me in a pink Escape Pod, which went into the ion cloud and took me to your universe. The Pod crashed on this planet."

"Men and women ought to work together!" I tell me...I mean her. That might be a mistake as it will get her annoyed again.

"Fools!" Howard snaps, "I was hoping to recruit you both as loyal assistants, but I can see you are as blind to serving Picard as my Commander was."

We get up, ready to be led off to our inevitable doom, when I realise what I have in my pack; it's a good job I'm prepared.

"Distract her." I whisper to Deanna; she thinks for a momemt, and looks at the Captain.

"Err...nice hairdo, Captain Howard." comments Deanna.

I roll my eyes, but get out my phaser rifle., and quickly turn it to her.



"Back off, Captain Howard!" I tell her, "You're our prisoner now."

We take her back to the shuttle.

As we get ready, Howard chats to Deanna, who is holding the rifle."

"You have a lovely hairdo." says Howard, "Wherever did you have it done; I know I'd love mine like that."

"Thank you very much." replies Deanna, "I have mine done at..."

Before she can finsh her answer, Howard has jumped up, grabbed the gun and is pointing it at us.

"You'll never learn will you?" Howard tells us, "You wouldn't be good enough to be on my team. I'll take this shuttle and go. You can stay on the planet. However, to show womanly solidarity, I'll send a call to the Enterprise to collect you after I've gone."

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A few hours later, we are in Jean-Luc's Ready Room, telling our story.

"Don't feel down about Beverly Howard getting away," Jean-Luc tells us, "I'm sure we will encounter her again. I'll just take the cost of the shuttle out of your salary."

"You're not going to do that, are you, Captain?" asks Deanna in astonishment.

"As you don't get paid, that's hardly likely to happen!" he replies.

Sometimes I think Jean-Luc has a very warped sense of humour!

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Author's note: Just a few days left to put your Christmas Party Entry in! The deadline is Friday 1st December. See previous posts for details.

22 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

You'd never fall for that trick, Captain, because you don't have any...

Oh. Right. You may be sensitive about that.

Sorry.

Black Widow said...

see I get beat into a coma and look what happens

Bobkat said...

An alternative distraction would have been to tell her she had lost weight!!!

Paperback Writer said...

She's crafty! That Captain Howard!

Anonymous said...

Darn I was hoping to find out where she got her hair done!

I'm going to try and send an entry for the party but I'm not too good on fantasy...i'll try though I promise!

pads said...

Lol, that Captain Howard seems like one to watch in future, she's too full of idea's that one. She needs a man if you ask me.

Love pads

Anonymous said...

Hi,Captain nice posting,Yes she is the one to watch .He!He!He!.
Wish you well

Professor Xavier said...

Beverly is channeling her inner Sly Stallone!

Unknown said...

You have to watch that Bever- I mean Captain Howard.

Thanks for keeping me healthy by commenting on my blog.

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

Those are very lovely women. They would be nice to be on the ship and your party.
BTW, I have sent something by email for the party. I hope you like it.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I love parellel universes...If you run into the mining ship Red Dwarf, get the Cat to sing the Tongue Tied song :)

Anonymous said...

Howard doesn't sound very pleasant, I hope he won't be invited to your party.

Lori said...

""The cost of the shuttle out of your salary""......Start talking salary and they get scared!!!.....LOL

Have a great day!!!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Captain Howard does sound like a tricky lady.

I don't think she's take too kindly to Pads' suggestion that she needs a man!

Anonymous said...

That last picture is too funny/cheesy. I love it.

M. C. Pearson said...

Hey Captain, just wanted to know I was thinking about ya. I will try to send you a post for the Christmas party but I have pneumonia right now...been battling it for the last month. If my mind starts to work again before Friday, I'll send you it!

Unknown said...

Thanks for your support over at my blog. I'm appreciative of every minute!

Lahdeedah said...

Um,

Which Beverly does Picard prefer?

Florence Forrest said...

Of all the planets in all the solar systems you had to escape pod through an ion storm from another dimension into mine.

xx

Trinity13 said...

At least she sent word back...she is good at heart! :-)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Mimi, hope you recover real soon.

Lahdeedah, I think the Bev he knows best is the one he prefers!

Florence, I seem to havew heard that before.

Matthew said...

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