Today is not our day; we have been flung to the far corner of the universe.
It's not like we did a while ago; this is a different part; in fact it's so far out, the expanding universe is just about here.
Don't expect too many Starbases to turn up around here.
It all started when we offended this race of creatures called the Zarn. Mistakenly I called him 'Commander' instead of 'Captain' Because the Zarn take offence easily, they used a strange device on boaed to fly us to this position in a few seconds.
It sure beats warp speed.
"Which way is it back" asks Riker.
"Scanners have no action on that, Commander" reples Data.
That is Data-speak for "I haven't the remotest idea, come up with something useful."
"Ideas anyone? I ask them all. This is Picard-speak for "I haven't the remotest idea, come up with something useful.
"We could just travel home" says Worf.
"That would probably take 500 years, Lieutenant" Data tells him. "I would be the only one left on the ship when we got home."
"Maybe I could get the engines to go a little faster" suggests Geordi.
"What would that do, Mr La Forge?" I tell him, "Get us home in 490 years instead?"
He thinks for a while and remains silent.
"Could we contact the Zarn and apologise?" asks Deanna, "They might bring us back the way they brought us if we do"
"We can't communicate with anyone where we are, Counselor!"
Deanna stays quiet as well.
"Maybe we can find a Class M planet and all stay there for good? suggests Beverly, "We can create a whole community with the many people we have here."
I think she was making eyes at me there.
"Though it's realistic, Doctor" I tell her, "The universe is only forming here, and there will me no Class M planets for a long while."
"BEGONE!" a mysterious voice suddenly calls out, "GO FROM THIS PLACE!"
I tell the voice who we are, in the usual Starfleet drivel we have to learn. The voice takes no notice.
It's like talking to a titanium wall.
"THIS IS MY DOMAIN! YOU WILL GO TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM!"
"If you send us there, we shall go." I tell the voice.
"VERY WELL!" the voice says.
The Enterprise shoots back and at a few seconds, we are at the point we were.
"Everything is just as it was." Data informs us.
"That's great" says Geordi.
"Captain, try not to offend the Zarn again" Riker says quietly to me, "Travelling long distance in short times doesn't agree with me."