Sunday, May 08, 2005

Poetry Recital

Tonight, the crew have been invited to a Poetry Recital by Commander Data. We will be listening to his latest works.

Where's the cotton wool?

Data has been droning on for the last 90 minutes. Worf looks like he wants to strangle a Romulan, but sits politely. Geordi La Forge patiently listens to his friend. Beverly has a pleasant smile that is rather fixed. Riker continually falls asleep but is woken up by Deanna every time he does. I have a strained official look.

Data goes on...

"For my next poem, I would like to dedicate it to my cat, Spot."

What do you do, my cat Spot?
In your feline day, is not a lot.
Yet there you are, pleasing to me,
A four legged creature, roaming free.
You consume Cat Protein 25,
This vital food keeps you alive.
Your sleepiness matters not,
For you are in truth, my cat Spot.

I don't think I can take much more of this.

Troi wakes Riker up again and we start clapping. I had more enjoyment when I was being assimilated by the Borg.

Data is about to say "For my next poem.." when the Red Alert signal goes on.

I receive the message that the Enterprise is under attack from unknown aliens with tri-cobalt titanium missiles.

What a relief.

6 comments:

R.A. Slater said...

Captain,
Please rest assured that my laughter on your previous post was due completely to my amusement over Janeway being "Directionally Challenged"...which I can identify with...I once ran a red light to keep up with my pastor furing a road trip...otherwise I would have gotten sooo lost!!!

Please tell Data he needs to work on his metaphors and imagery in his poetry...a little bit a "flowery" stuff never hurts a poem. :)

Yours truly,
Ciera :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ciera, I don't know whether I want to encourage Data with his poetry. I, and the rest of the senior officers aren't that keen on going to another Poetry Recital.

R.A. Slater said...

Hmm...I see your point...perhaps he should try showcasing his paintings instead. That way, you can all walk through, slowly or quickly depending on whether they're any good or not, nod and say, "Very nice, Data." and be on your way.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ciera, you are an inspiration! A painting showcase would be a lot less painful. I hope Data doesn't try to imitate too much of what is called '20th Century Modern Art'. I'm not sure which way up those pictures are.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Mr Bond, are you sure you are not in truth, Dr Evil? Starfleet records tell me that it was he that was the creator of the Fembots. Perhaps Mr Vader would be happier with a Fembot?

RenaSherwood said...

Dammit, Jim! I was following all this until we got to the Fembots! I assume a Fembot is a drink for women, but I could be wrong...